Bella & Edward,  A Love Story
by vickisan
Summary: Teen rated version of Heaven, Hell and Harleys!  What if Bella never had to go to Italy, if Edward returned to beg her to take him back!  What if she had already left town with Jacob!
1. Chapter 1  Bella

**Author's Notes: THIS IS THE TEEN VERSION OF HEAVEN, HELL AND HARLEYS! MATERIALS UNSUITABLE FOR TEENS HAS BEEN REMOVED AND IN SOME CASES, ENTIRE CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN CHANGED This is my first attempt at writing, ever. If you are going to read it, please at least read the first 4 chapters to give it a chance, the first two chapters are necessary, but not action filled as such! I have had no bad reviews yet, and it seems to be well received! Give me a try! Thanks!  
**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 1 Bella**

**BPOV**

_"Jacob, I really want to try!"  
_

I said for the umteenth time as he effortlessly pushed the bike into the shed. It was a collection of sheds really, all sort of pieced together to form the warm, comforting workspace where I spend my free time. I was here in La Push and it was Saturday. We had been riding all morning, Jacob and I.

Jacob.

My lifeline.

My russet skinned friend whose laughter and seeming need to make me smile had been my safe harbor. He is always there for me. He never fails to crack a joke, punch me in the shoulder, or hold me when I cry. I cry a lot. Cried a lot that is. Less now, the tears have lessened now that I have discovered a way to see "him". Jacob has ridden every road with me, the beach at LaPush, every trail . . . especially the trails! Who would have thought I would be so skilled on two wheels! On my own two feet I was an accident looking for a place to happen, continually bumping into things and inflicting bruises too numerous to count. I have trouble walking a straight flat surface without it rising up and causing me to trip, but on a bike I was unstoppable! I had heard of it - riders who could drink themselves silly so that they could not even stand much less walk. Riders who would then get on their bike and ride undaunted, perfectly, like the bike was simply an extension of themselves. An unerring extension that felt the road, sensed it really . . . understood it.

Seemless.

Flawless.

I had started riding as a distraction, of course, something to occupy the time,

_"my kind are easily distracted"_

and to see "him". It seems as though when I do something dangerous I can see him standing there, looking like a Greek God telling me to be safe, not to get hurt . . . seeming like he cares about me

. . . and for a brief second, I almost feel whole

. . . almost.

I remembered playing together with Jacob as a child. We were kids, carefree, swings, swimming, TV - anything to keep me distracted on my two week summer trips to Forks to visit my dad. My dad and his dad, Billy, were the best of friends, sharing a love for sports - the Mariners to be exact - and a love for fishing, which they did EVERY weekend! My dad, Charlie, had no idea really what to do with me during these visits. He had never been an affectionate man, scared of meaningful conversation almost as much as he was terrified of showing emotion. Now he just avoided it by keEping his distance. I didn't really want anyone near - just "him", and that was not to be.

"He" didn't want me.

"He" had told me countless times that he loved me.

"He" had held me.

"He" had left me that day in the forest without even a backwards glance.

It had been months since "he" left, turned his back and walked away with no feeling in his cold eyes. Though I had never felt it around "him", I felt the cold now, an all encompassing void that was my life. The more I rode the better rider I became, so the more dangerous my stunts had to become to see him, and faster - always faster.

Adrenaline junkie.

That's how they labeled me.

I could care less.

There was no one that mattered,

. . . except maybe Jacob.

Jacob was an amazing mechanic! Thru all the bent handlebars and fenders, all the smashed gas tanks and replaced parts, he stuck by me. He picked me up when I fell, cleaned the scrapes and road rash that was an inevitable part of learning to ride for me, and tenderly stroked my forehead with a damp cloth when I passed out from the smell of blood.

Blood. I hated blood.

Blood had been the cause of his leaving, the cause of his not allowing me to be close enough to him to keep him . . . to be enough for him. Blood was the most important thing to a vampire, and mine was the sweetest of all to him, I was 'his brand of heroin'. His senses were so heightened as a vampire, he even smelled my blood from across the parking lot at school when I had fallen one day - he was frantic. Frantic with worry for me, and with desire . . . for blood.

No.

I can not go there. It was Saturday and I had my bike. Guess enthusiasm for anything was better than the apathy I showed for almost everything in my life. I walked through my classes at school and my time at home with Charlie on autopilot, speaking if spoken to, eating when prodded, functioning - but just barely. I was a shadow of myself. I knew, logically, that I was still the same. But I had neither the will nor the desire to be myself. Only when I had the possibility of seeing "him" did I come to life.

I had pushed the current version of my bike to its limits. There was not a trail I could go faster on, a turn I could take sharper, or a hill or rut I could jump that I had not already tried. And succeeded. I had not seen "him" in weeks - nor had I wrecked, or even fallen for that matter. I had become something of an enigma on a bike, a force to be reckoned with, unstoppable. I needed more. I needed to see "him".

_"Jacob, I really really want to try "_, I begged again.

All the La Push guys did it, Sam and his group. Even Jacob. My Jacob. He would go to the ends of the earth to try and bring me back. I wasn't good for him, I wasn't whole. I tried to explain that I just could not be fixed - put back together like the bike after one of my crashes - but he kept trying. It wasn't that I didn't want to feel, to be whole, to be the amazing person to him that he was for me, it's just that I couldn't. Part was missing.

I just could wait no longer.

I had to see "him".

_"Jacob, if you won't come with me, I am going to go alone!". _

That did it of course. We were in my truck, headed to First Beach, and the cliffs. Cliff diving was fun. Jacob had said so himself. I guess I was about to find out! I parked my red pickup on the pull off on the road where Jacob pointed. It was quite a walk to the edge of the cliff thru the dense undergrowth of the forest. There was a path there, winding thru the ferns and moss laden tree trunks. Most would call it beautiful, really, but it was just too green. Squishy. I missed the hard brown of the desert floor and the beauty that was the rise and fall of the rolling hills, the amazing sunsets filled with pink in the dry desert air, the dance of the last rays of sun as they sunk over the mountains. The warmth. God I missed the warmth. The cold here reminded me of "him" - and I could not leave it. Even in my despair, it comforted me. It reminded me of cool skin, an icy touch, fingers caressing my cheek, a brush of cool lips across my jaw slowly kissing their way to the hollow of my throat, and arms holding me while I slept. Safe, I felt so safe then, so loved. It was all like a dream now, a distant memory yet so clear it cut my heart still. Enough. I need to concentrate, one foot in front of the other, no falling. The line of trees seemed to end just up ahead, as the ocean came into view.

"_Bella, loca, are you sure about this?_", Jacob had asked.

We were standing on the edge, 50 feet above the waves, a hundred? I wasn't sure. It was mesmerizing. The sun glinted off the waves as they broke against the rocks below sending shimmers of light dancing on the cliff, sort of like . . . "him" in the sunlight . . . no, no - don't go there.

_"As ready as I will ever be! Want me to go first?",_ I called to him.

"_Me first, oh anxious one, I need to be in the water before you in case you need rescuing!"_, Jacob said smugly.

The words had barely left his mouth as he took two steps back, sprung forward, leaped into the air - fearless - free - the embodiment of the feeling I had always gotten on my bike. I stepped to the edge and looked down as Jake entered the water with barely a ripple, waiting for him to emerge, waiting to know that he was alright. I was not disappointed. Soon his goofy smile was looking up at me - his upper torso bobbing in the water a short distance from where I would enter the surf. My turn. As I stepped back to begin my leap, he was there.

"He" was there.

With me on that cliff was my other half. It seemed so real, his hand outstretched to me, his brow wrinkled with anguish, his gaze glaring towards me. His coppery locks blowing gently in the wind, wild and unkept atop his Adonis like body. His beautiful eyes burned molten fire and pierced me with a look I barely remembered . . . a look I craved and needed more than the air to breath . . . he was looking at me as though he loved me, desperate to save me and keep me safe! I closed my eyes, committing that look to memory, . . . and jumped.

I was flying, soaring above everything. For a moment, I felt the hole in my chest try to close. Only a moment, but it was enough. Fierce eyes, sparkles dancing on the waves, and cold! Cold. Water. And then I was being pulled - dragged really, toward the shore. I could swim of course, but the current had been more than I could manage and I had been dazed, lost in my thoughts even after the wall of cold that was the surf had engulfed me. I had forgotten to even try and swim, content in my dream and ignoring my need for air. I had "him" . . if only for an instant.

Jacob had draped his long arm around me and brought me to shore with him, easily swimming for both of us.

_"What the hell, Bells! Do you want to die!"_, Jacob had yelled.

He was shaking with the intensity of his emotion, quivering really, but I thru my arms around him and thanked him for being there, for being with me, for being my best friend. Slowly the shaking stopped, and he calmed down. I tried to explain that I had just been stunned by the cold of the water, but he saw right thru me. Maybe I was crazy, that's ok.

I had seen "him".

**CHARLIE POV**

We had combed the woods all morning and found nothing. Not a footprint, not a trace of the wolves that Bella had seen. She said she saw them. I wanted to believe her, to feel confident in her. She had run into the house so animated, so certain of what she had seen that I had gathered a few of the guys from LaPush and my friend Harry Clearwater, and we had gone to search for tracks of the animals she had described. She said she saw them, but could I be sure of anything she said anymore. She hardly spoke. I had threatened to send her to Florida. I had even called Renee to come and get her, to help her pack and go to live in Jacksonville with her. A fresh start. I just wanted her to have a life, to be interested in something, to feel something - anything. She had been this way since he had left.

Bella.

My mind wandered from the trail, worrying about my frail little girl. She seemed barely there, a shadow of the vibrant girl I remembered. I had been so excited for her the morning of her eighteenth birthday - my daughter was growing up and soon would be leaving me, attending college, attending to her life.

Her life.

Her future had looked so bright. She was alive with energy and enthusiasm! She bounced off the walls with excitement around her friend Alice and cooked and cared for me almost like she was the parent and I was the child. She had almost a glow radiating from her bright eyes, eyes that were cold now.

Shut down.

She wasn't like that with him.

Her eyes danced with a fire and glow at the mere mention of his name, let alone his presence. Looking back, I see now the spark of electricity that was in the air any time they were together, palpable, an energy that was alive and boundless. I suppose I knew she was in love with him, I just hadn't wanted to admit it at the time, but when he left, he took all that was her with him.

Damn him.

If I only knew where he was, I would end him myself . . .

_"Charlie, which path do you want to take",_ Harry asked. I was abruptly pulled from my musings and brought back to the present - we had still found no trace of giant wolves - or any other large creatures for that matter. It seemed as if the forest was quiet this morning, tense, almost as if a predator that was a threat to even the grizzlies and wolves lurked there.

_"Let's start over the ridge and circle back by the cliffs"_, I told Harry.

I headed up the ravine towards the cliffs to circle back towards the village. That's when I saw her.

Bella.

I was sure it was her, though I had only caught a glimpse. I could hardly believe it. I didn't want to believe it. She had jumped. As I rushed to the edge, memories flashed in my head - her face when I had first given her truck, how beautiful she had looked when she was dressed and out the door to prom, her face when I had suggested she had a grey hair, her excitement whenever that boy came over - it all filled my head. In the seconds or hours it took me to close the short distance to the cliff's edge, a hundred memories crossed my eyes. I was afraid to look.

Nothing.

There was nothing but water and waves at the base of the cliff. My eyes ventured a little farther and spotted what looked like someone swimming - wait, two people swimming. As I clutched my chest I watched my daughter walk out of the water onto the beach, followed by a boy, a dark haired boy.

Jacob.

Jacob was there? I stood silently as I watched them cross the beach. I was overcome with relief . . . and rage. I was headed home, and God help me, she had better have been headed home as well! Harry tried to settle me down, having had limited success. He had been tracking with me in the woods and had seen as clearly as I had what had happened on the cliff.

Cliff diving.

He had explained that all the La Push teenagers did it. Not that he condoned it, just that it was something that they had all done, even since he was a boy, and he was as old as I was! By the time I got back to Billy's to drop Harry off I had calmed down. My face had lost the red tinge and my eyes were less wild, until I saw the motorcycles. Jacob and Bella, laughing and talking, dismounting black and red bikes and pushing them into the makeshift garage in back of the house.

All hell was about to break loose, but it was not the hell that I had envisioned! A voice rang out from the cabin, it was Sue Clearwater,

_"Harry, Charlie, get in here . . . its Billy!"_


	2. Chapter 2  Cobwebs

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 2 Cobwebs**

**EPOV**

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

Three thousand two hundred seventy one, three thousand two hundred seventy two . . . or was it three . . . rings, can't be rings,

Start over.

Wait, was I counting breaths, or sunsets, or cobwebs - or rats . . . no, there were not that many rats, it must have been minutes - or was it days? I can't do this . . . I can't. I don't have the strength.

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

I was no longer aware of the time of day, the day of the week, or even the month for that matter. I was here, alone. Forever alone but never alone. Time had ceased to exist for me, not that it ever meant much to my kind as eternity loomed in our futures. Each day flowed endlessly into the next marked by twilight and darkness. The passing of darkness. The voices, most of them were far away, a distant muted buzzing sound. My gift not tormenting me with the ever present monotony of voices. I was thankful for that. Thankful for the near quiet. The near peaceful oblivion. Quiet like Bella's mind was to me. Quiet. Bella.

No. Don't think about her.

I had tried to protect her, but a paper cut . . . a fucking PAPER CUT. How was I supposed to protect her against that, against my own family! I had killed James for his attacking and biting her and even managed to suck out the venom allowing her to retain her human form. Her blood. To think, I was worried I would hurt her because of the lure of her blood, the way it sang to me. Nothing. It was fucking nothing. The power and force by which her blood called to me was nothing compared to the pain of her absence. I would spend eternity feeling the anguish of that call and the burn in my throat that it caused if I had the choice. But I had no choice. It was fitting. I had taken away her choice. She had the right to choose and I had no right to deny her. I see that now. I see many things so clearly now. I could have shown her my love. Every time I denied her, every time I pulled away from her embrace, every fucking time I denied us what should have been ours . . . I had taken her choices from her, and now I had no choice.

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

Victoria had escaped, and I was determined that she was not going to taint good air and walk shoe leather on this earth for much longer. I would light the match to her pyre and end her myself. I had tracked her this far - this far . . . and the trail disappeared. Of all of my many talents and attributes, I so sucked at tracking. I had taken up residence in an abandoned building, in the attic amid the cobwebs and rotting timbers. Rodents, spiders and bats were my companions. A fitting tomb for one such as I. No one lived here. The South side of Rio - no one in there right mind lived here anymore, not even the bums. Not even the most destitute. It was the most decayed place I could find. I deserved no less. I was alone in the attic, curled in on myself in a ball, arms clinging around curled up legs as though trying to hold myself together. It was no use - there was nothing to hold together. I was empty. Empty except for the pain. Eyes. Eyes filled with equal measure of pain and love the last time I'd looked into them. Brown eyes that haunted me.

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

She woke up sleepily, her face nuzzling closer still into the crook of my neck, arm draped across my chest as she gripped me closer. Dawn was just breaking outside the tiny window of her bedroom, but the light was enough for her to see me there. She could feel me of course, cold and hard. She never seemed to mind but to draw herself closer. I had been watching her for hours lost in her every breath, every heartbeat, the feel of her blood rushing in her veins just below the surface of her creamy alabaster skin. Her voice, dear lord, it was enough to slay me. She had moaned my name for the forth time just a moment before she woke - each time becoming more fervent, more laced with pleasure and need, her hips seeking friction and giving away her desire. She was killing me. I moved to kiss her lips, to give her the union she desired . . . . . cobwebs - a mouth full of cobwebs and my own knee to my mouth, the only thing in front of me. I have no concept of how long I had been lost in my dreams, my trying to dream, my "sleeping", lost in thought with my love. Everything that I was I left in the forest that day with her. She trusted me. She loved me.

She matters more to me than blood. For her . . . I have to protect her . . .

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

**JPOV** (Jasper)

"Alice, how about coming in and sitting with me", Jasper quietly asked.

She had been out on the front porch of our home starring off into the distance, trying to see. Needing to see. There was nothing, only darkness.

"He is so alone, Jasper. Alone and in the dark somewhere. I can't see where, there is nothing to go by, only cobwebs and rotting timbers! An Attic . . . Oh My God, Jasper, he is in an attic somewhere!".

Alice would have been shedding tears if that were possible, but then again I guess we all would have. We would move heaven and earth to have him with us. We all missed him and worried for him. We missed her. Alice could no longer see her at all, and he was alone in the dark. What a mess he had made of this. So much pain.

We were in our new home now, Esme had outdone herself again. We had nine acres that were surrounded on three sides by the National Forest. Perfect. Carlisle was busy supervising the surgical staff and the opening of the new hospital here in the small town of Highlands, North Carolina. We had gone diagonally across the country to gain distance for him.

Distance from her.

It was cloudy here in the temperate rain forest that was the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. Loads of wildlife, deer were plentiful as was other small game, lots of bears for Emmett but few mountain lions. I guess that didn't matter. Mountain lion was Edwards favorite, but he hadn't stayed with us long enough for it to matter that they were scarce here. He had left almost as soon as we were settled in, not even unpacking his room. He never even entered his room except to set his boxed personal items in it - the only remains of the life he had once known, and an unwelcome reminder to him of what he had lost.

Bella.

The pain in his all consuming grief was unbearable. It colored his face and resonated in his voice. I could not even endure it second hand. How he would ever survive the loss, I had no idea. I couldn't have done it. I would have turned her in a heartbeat to have her with me for eternity but Edward, selfless Edward - too worried about his assumption that she would loose her soul. Completely altruistic? I don't know. I do know that he burned. He burned with a grief that had to equal the fires of hell. I could feel it, and I would move heaven and earth to change it if it were only possible.

We had all moved here, leaving Forks at Edwards request. We were a family after all. The home here was built of warm cedar wood, giving off a golden glow and a slight fragrance that was not altogether unpleasant. I'm told humans find the smell pleasing. The house was amazing, one of Esme's best efforts in my opinion. The two story rustic structure sat on the very top of the mountain facing West into the National Forest and giving a full view of the sunsets over the distant hills. The master suite was on the main floor and was for Carlisle and Esme, of course. It had a sitting room off to one side and a huge garden style Jacuzzi tub with windows looking West so that the sunset could be seen. A sink and toilet were there of course, for appearances. A small study/library was attached to the front of the room, just off the main foyer and front door and it suited Carlisle's purpose. A place to store shelf after shelf of priceless antique books and documents and to display the artwork he had accumulated over the centuries. A lone desk and 3 chairs set to the center of the room were the only furnishing. Simple. A place for study, reflection and thought. A place grounded in history and family and lineage and education - a testament to the reality that vampires could rise above their baser callings, that there were infinite possibilities for them and their humanity, and evidence to have drawn Carlisle to the conclusion that vampires did indeed have a soul and were not damned as was thought by many accounts.

The upstairs contained four large bedrooms with private baths in each. Large rooms with magnificent views and fireplaces and room to accommodate sitting areas for music and stereos and large closets even by Alice's standards. Each couple had their own room and there was a guest room if we needed it - or it could be used as a study! The Great Room downstairs had the most magnificent fireplace. Two story ceilings accommodated the huge structure made of smooth river stone and a hearth that would seat 6 of us at a time to enjoy the warmth that a fire provided. We never mentioned how romantic and cozy the living spaces seemed. It was too painful to bear. Walking by the near empty and boxed room that was Edwards had become so painful that we all sighed in relief that it was at the very end of the hall thus enabling us to avoid its entrance.

The house was secluded, to say the least, ten miles from town and a mile long driveway all heavily forested. Perfect. But Edward had not stayed. He had tried, God knows he had tried, but the pain that I knew him to feel was at best, unbearable.

Being around family pushed him over the edge. Any time any one of us had a passing accidental thought of Bella it was excruciating for him. He would drop to his knees and fold in on himself, pulling his hair. If any of us thought fondly of or touched our mates his agony was palpable. He wanted his mate. He needed Bella. It was impossible for him to ignore it and impossible to give in to it. He was trapped in his own personal living hell. The sight of his brothers and sisters and parents with their mates was too much for him. Never would he have that . . . the closeness, the bond, the feeling of completeness that their union brought to each of them. The feeling of being whole. Edward had claimed her as his mate. They had never consummated the relationship, but it didn't matter. She was the other half of his whole. To say they were soul mates was to understate the bond between them. He had chosen to separate himself from her, the only mate he would ever have. Vampires mate for life, well, for the balance of their existence. How he thought it was for her own good, I will never know.

Carlisle had tried. He had offered to even travel with him as soon as he could arrange a leave from the newly started hospital, but Edward would not hear of it. He could not bear any reminder of anything that had ever had to do with Bella. If he saw Carlisle, he would remember the scene of him having welcomed her into their home, of him tending to her injuries when she had been attacked by James, stitching up her cuts when he had thrown her into a table full of glass to avoid Jasper's attack. Esme reminded him of the times that she and Bella had cooked together in the kitchen at Forks, making all sorts of treats for Charlie and even for Jacob and Billy. Emmett would come up with something to say about how stupid he thought it was of Edward to have left her, Emmett was Emmett. Then there was Alice, Alice was her best friend. Every word out of here mouth reminded him of something to do with Bella . . . a shopping trip, a pajama party, a stolen weekend covered by Alice as an excuse. It was just too much. Then there was me. I had dealt the last blow, and it was impossible to forget the night of her eighteenth birthday party when I had taken a snap at her. God help me I wish I could rid us all of that night.

_"I'm going to keep trying to call, Jasper. He is so alone, he needs me"_

Alice cried dry tears as she spoke.

_"I know, Darlin'. Just keep trying". _

I spoke softly as I stepped behind my mate and put my arms around her.

**EPOV**

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

ring . . . ring . . . ring . . . Alice. Alice again. I can't, I just can't.

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

Maybe, I could just check on her. I need to make sure she is safe. Safe from my world. Maybe Alice has seen something. Maybe I should check. Maybe she needs me . . .

NO No no !

- I am the danger, me and all I bring with my world . . .

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

I HAVE to check. She is my life. Just a peek, at least that is what I told myself, just a glimpse. A fleeting view of her happy in her new life, happy with her friends and family. She would continue, she would date. She would move on.

Human minds are like sieves, and feelings fade . . .

that's what I told her

She would find someone else. Someone to hold her, someone to tell her she is loved, to show her that she is loved - to kiss her. Another that would caress her soft cheek with His hand . . . kiss her lips with His . . . Marry her . . . Feel her warmth and love . . .

No. She loves me, she wouldn't . . .

It will be as if I never existed . . .

that's what I told her

I have to go home. I have to go to her, confess that I lied and beg her. Beg her for what? Beg her to stay human, beg her not to stay human? Beg for her forgiveness for the blackest of lies that I had told her . . . beg her to allow me to stand in the same room with her . . .

I opened my eyes and brushed aside a spider, my face and eyelashes a part of its web. I must have been here longer than I thought - had I been human, I would have starved long ago. Pity. Though I was technically dead, my legs ached from having held their curled position for so long, closed in on myself trying to hold myself together as if I could fill in the hole in my chest if I just squeezed hard enough.

The absence of her was everywhere.

I crawled from my hiding place and slowly made my way down the flights of stairs, managing to stand some semblance of straight up by the time I reached the last level. It was a wonder this building had ever withstood my weight without falling over. What was I thinking. I can never live without her. I fought with every ounce of strength I possessed to regain my composure. I had to go to her.

Have to stay here.

Promised.

I promised her.

I was headed for the airport, and home.

The first flight out was more than fourteen hours away. I fumbled for my wallet and the little black credit card that I still had tucked away. The ticket agent glared at me, but provided me with a ticket, first class, none the less. Ticket in hand, I passed a mirror. Clothes, I needed new clothes. If Alice could see me now, she would disown me. My shirt was torn from a predator I had fed on carelessly months ago. The knees of my pants were covered in dirt and I think those were cobwebs covering one side of my jacket and leg of my trousers from lying curled up on one side in the attic, I can't be sure, but the toe of my leather shoes looked nibbled on. I was a mess. A hunt, short shopping spree and a hotel room later, I was much more presentable. I answered the phone,

"Yes Alice, it's me".


	3. Chapter 3  Billy

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 3 Billy**

**SAM POV**

Paul, Rachael, Emily and I pulled in to park at the Black's house.

"_I won't be but a minute"_, Rachel called as she got out of the car, _"I just need to get a sweater, they keep it so cold in the theaters!" _

We had had a great day at the beach. The days were always good lately, and hanging out with Rachael and Paul was entertaining. I saw Paul all the time, of course, since he lived in LaPush and was a member of the pack. We rarely got to just relax, though, but now that the Cullens had been gone for a few months, things seemed to be calming down. Good. I could use a little calm. Too much responsibility having to be on alert and in charge.

"_Dad!"_

We heard her scream, no sooner than the front screen had slammed shut. We were out of the car in a flash and thru the door into the Black's small front room. Rachael was talking to 911 on her cell as she stroked Billy's hair. I instinctively reached down and touched my hand to his throat - there was a pulse, he was breathing, and I saw no obvious bleeding. We would just have to wait for the emergency personnel to arrive with the ambulance. The room was a wreck! His wheelchair was upside down in the far corner of the room next to the TV, which was on the floor. Billy was laying in a strangely contorted heap near the back wall of the room, as though . . . as though he had landed there from being dropped! Billy's house was not new, it had been around forever, and the walls were constructed of wood plank, no sheet rock like houses built more recently. The wall behind him was pushed in - like you slid a heavy piece of furniture into it with a lot of force. Then it hit me. The scent.

Vampire.

I was brought from my thoughts as the ambulance arrived. Three of them rushed in to asses Billy's condition. A few minutes later, they had him immobilized on a plank with a neck brace, IV inserted, and were hauling him out to the waiting ambulance. Rachel jumped into the ambulance with him and the rest of us ran to my car for the ride to the hospital. Paul was on the phone letting Billy's friends in LaPush know what had happened. Most of them had no cell phones and I knew they would just go to Billy's house to find out the details. We asked Sue Clearwater to go over there and stay to keep people updated.

We arrived at the hospital, entered the emergency room door . . . and waited. That's all you can do. Just wait.

**Charlie POV**

_"Harry, Charlie, get in here . . . its Billy!", _Sue yelled from the front door.

Jacob and Bella heard as well from the shed where they had been headed with the motorcycles, and we all converged on the house. Sue told us that there had been an accident and that Billy had been taken to the hospital. I rushed the kids along with Harry and I into my patrol car and turned on the siren. I didn't like to drive fast or use my authority as Chief of Police, but now was not time to quibble over details. I starred into the rear view mirror at my daughters face - she knew I had seen the bikes, or she guessed, but I said nothing. No one said anything as we hurried to the hospital to check on Billy. Jacob spied Sam in the waiting room.

"_What the hell happened?"_, he demanded!

I didn't know what to tell him, thought Sam. I had my suspicions, of course, but I couldn't tell Jacob that. He was not a pack member . . . yet. I had been watching him closely these last few months, waiting for signs of the change that was surely to come. The presence of vampires triggered the change, and since the Cullens had moved away, it looked like his change might be delayed. He had grown, of course. He was older looking, much larger than a kid of 17 should have been, and he had gained a lot of strength, but he had yet to make the change.

"_Your sister ran in to get a sweater before we went out, she found him on the floor. We don't know anything except he was breathing and there was no sign of anything bleeding."_

"_She is in the office, over there"_, he pointed to his side, _" filling out the paperwork."_

Jacob went to find Rachael and hopefully get some news on Billy. It was times like this that I wished Dr. Cullen had not left town. He was an amazing doctor and I trusted him, even if he was that jackass Edward's father! Harry walked over to talk with Paul and Emily and I turned to Bella.

"_What the hell were you doing?"_

"_What?"_, said my daughter, her hands in her back pockets and fidgeting nervously.

"_You know very well what, young lady!"_

"_Dad, the bikes are just a kind of a hobby with Jake and I, it's nothing, really!", _she said.

"_Bella, I was out trying to find tracks from those wolves you said you saw and I was up on the cliff at First Beach. I saw you jump."_

She froze, just starring at me. Just then, Jacob and Rachel walked out from the back, kind of blank looks on their faces, and walked toward us. Sam and the rest of the group, Harry as well saw their approach and headed over to join us to see what was going on.

"_He's gone. Dad's gone",_

said Jacob as Rachel wrapped her arms around Paul, tears flowing down her face.

'_But what happened, there was no blood! Did he have a heart attack, or what?", _ Sam questioned.

"_No, the doctors said there were massive internal injuries and bleeding. They said he had broken bones and injuries like he had been hit by a Mac truck, but there were no external signs, except some bruising on his back"_, said Jacob, "_All I could tell them is that he must have fallen out of his wheelchair but they looked at me like I was nuts!"_

Rachael filled out some paperwork, since she was the oldest of Billy's children and I left to take Bella home. Harry and Jacob were riding back to LaPush with Sam. We didn't talk much on the way home. Billy's death had overshadowed any thought of the motorcycles or the cliff . . . for now. I needed to drop her off at home and get to Billy's to see if there was anything I could do. It was late, and I just needed to know Bella was home and safe. I was going to get Jacob to rest as soon as I got to his house, it was late and tomorrow would be a very full, hard day.

**Jacob POV**

I walked to the car with Rachael and Paul, unable to believe what had just happened. It was beyond me. How could he get hurt so badly in our own house? He was a little clumsy, yes, and headstrong - always thinking he could do whatever and not ask for help. He had been that way since the accident that put him in the wheelchair several years ago, when mom had died. This was bringing the memory of that accident flooding back and though I was younger then, I still remembered the day I lost my mom. I shook my head as if to clear it . . . to escape even the fringe of that memory.

We arrived home to find Sue and some of the other tribe members at the house. Quinn and Embry were waiting for me, though it seemed as though they were always hanging around Sam these days, part of his little pack that thought they ran things on the reservation. Billy was the chief of our tribe and he was the one that technically ran things, he and the council of elders. They were at the house as well, old Quillitera sat on the sofa waiting as we walked in. He and Sam exchanged some sort of glance at each other and Quill and Embry went to the sofa to talk with them. Figured. Paul was trying to comfort Rachael who was still crying a river. I just went to my room. Between riding bikes all morning, pulling Bella out of the surf and the stress at the hospital, I felt really tired for the first time in a long time. I was done for the night.

Morning dawned as always, only it was a different morning without my dad. I had thought it such a pain in the ass to help the old man with things he couldn't do or reach, now I only wished he were there to need the help/ The elders came over and discussed with me and my sisters the tribal customs and things that should be done for the burial. Billy would be afforded all the traditions and honors that were due a chief of our tribe. The burial would be here, on the reservation burial grounds and the elders would attend to the body, as tradition dictated. It was ok with me. They knew what he would consider an honor better than I would anyway. I would have only a small part in the ceremony. The wake had already begun, some activities to occur tonight and tomorrow night with the burial the next day.

The funeral itself was uneventful, just the expected pomp and circumstance. All the traditions were kept and respects were paid, and all of it didn't matter anyway because as sorry as everyone was and as many times as they asked if there was anything I need or anything they could do, it changed nothing. My dad was gone. I had no one . . . no one, and no reason to stay here. I didn't want to be chief, others could do a better job of it anyway. I had to get away. I stepped into my room and loaded my backpack with clothes, not that that took long. I was never big on having lots of clothes and reading was not something I thought was fun so there were few books in my room. I stuffed the photo of my family, me, my two sisters and my mom and dad, into the bag and pulled the zipper closed. I headed to the shed. I knew that Bella had bought the bikes and paid for all the parts, but I didn't think she would mind if I escaped on one. She had said the black one was mine for doing the work on both of them. Anyway, I would leave her a note.

I was just finishing checking the oil and the bike chain when Bella waked into the shed. No need for a note now, anyway. She took one look at me and said, _Jacob, what are you doing?"_

"_Obviously, Bella, I'm leaving. There is nothing to tie me to this place now, I have to go."_

I stepped over to her, hugging her to me as she started to cry,_ "Jacob, I'm coming with you. I can't loose you, you are my best friend!"_

"_You would do that, Bella, run away with me?"_

"_I'd do it. I'd do it for you, Jacob. Lets stop by my house so I can get some clothes. I've already graduated from school, I am 18 and a legal adult, and there is nothing keeping me here. I'll leave Charlie a note.""_

We rode out of the shed, careful not to attract too much attention from the mass amounts of people milling around in and outside the house and rode toward Forks. Bella didn't take long. She grabbed a backpack, like me, and stuffed it full of clothes and a quilt that she insisted she could not do without, even though it was so bulky it required its own backpack! Go figure, girls. Anyway, she left a note telling Charlie not to worry that she would call him in a week or so, and we were on our bikes and gone.


	4. Chapter 4  Planes & Plans

**Chapter 4 Planes and Plans**

**EPOV**

"Yes, Alice, it's me."

"_Yes, I know you have been worried. I'm sorry - I just gave into it. Yes, yes I'm trying. I'm headed there to talk to her right now. I have my ticket and the flight leaves within the hour. Out of Rio. Yes, yes, I know. I WILL call when I get to Houston, Alice. Bye._

_Have to stay here. _

_Promised. _

_I promised her._

No, no . . . that's not right.

I promised not to leave her

I promised not to hurt her

I promised she would never see me again

No. That promise was part of the lie, part of telling her I didn't want her to come with me, that she was not good for me and she didn't belong in my world. Bullshit, all of it. That girl was my life. That frail little human meant everything to me. Everything. Without her I was nothing at all. I might be an immortal being, nearly indestructible with an eternity in front of me, but that frail little human held my very existence in her hands.

I was hers, irrevocably . . . and I was incapable of changing it . . . even had I wanted to.

I sat in the terminal looking out into the night. I felt as though I was part of the night, like I hadn't seen the sun in so long. I was still cloudy, like I was thinking thru mud, a very uncommon feeling for a vampire.

Most vampires did not try to starve themselves to death.

Most vampires did not fall in love with humans.

Most vampires did not drink animal blood.

I chuckled because I seemed to be thinking in threes, three things I promised, three things I was abnormal in doing, wonder what other "three" thing I would come up with or realize. Huh. I hadn't bought three shirts at the store a little while ago, I had only bought one. If you added the shirt, pants and shoes maybe that was three, but then socks were two, so that was 5 all together - no there were 2 shoes, that made it 6 which is a multiple of three, but then I had bought under ware and an undershirt - that added two. Belt, that's it, the belt made three which means it is a total of nine which is divisible by three, three times! Yes, three!

ring . . . . ring . . . . ring . . . . "Alice, what!"

"_Concentrate, Edward, your plane is boarding. You are about to miss it!_", chided the little pixie.

"_Thanks, Alice. Thanks a lot, actually."_

"_Don't mention it, brother, just get on that plane!" _

I slowly rose to board, having no luggage to check. I gave the attendant my ticket and took my seat by the window. It would be a long flight.

**Carlisle POV**

Well, that's it. That's a full staff for the hospital. What a day, I don't usually have such a difficult time choosing interns but both candidates were just so well qualified and had such interesting profiles! Who am I kidding, I had such trouble deciding between them because one of them reminded me so much of Edward. Edward, my first son. I missed him with a longing that only a vampire could understand. There was a part of my brain that NEVER stopped thinking about him, wondering where he was, how he was, if there wasn't possibly something I could do to help him. Anything. I tried to convince him to let me leave with him, but he wouldn't hear of it. Alice had been unable to see where he was, or I would have gone and found him. Anything to help him, I would do anything.

I remembered when I awoke after being bitten and realized what I had become. I tried for years to kill myself to no avail. Jumping from heights did nothing, the body repaired itself almost instantly, and I did not need to breath, so immersing myself in water for months was useless against the immortality I possessed. Denying myself food only ended in my being curled up somewhere muttering nonsensically to myself, almost too weak to move. This is what I feared Edward was doing. He had no will to live, no intention of having a future without "her". He was so broken over a choice he had made for both their lives, a choice I don't think she would have agreed with. She loved him, that was clear. If I could just have convinced him he had a soul, if he would only see!

Edward and I had spent years researching, documenting, reading . . . endless years of reading thru documents as old as time. All over the world. We had traveled to all the ancient cities, poured over dust filled ancient, cracked parchments in language after language looking for answers in the deepest niches of libraries and monasteries. I was confident we were not damned. Though forced to walk the earth for an eternity could be considered a curse, it could also be a blessing. We had infinite time to love and to learn, our vampire minds remembered everything and gave total recall - every moment, every word read every vision was there for us to remember, to use. It's one of the reasons I had become a doctor. I thought that if I helped people, I would be giving back. Just think, ages and ages to learn, forgetting nothing. Surely my skills would be of use. Every time I saved someone because of my advanced abilities, both mental and physical, I felt I was worthy, and surely not damned.

I sensed her enter the room as Esme moved to put her arms around my waist. I was gazing out the window of our new home. She had outdone herself, my Esme, and this home was more beautiful than the last. She was an amazing woman and the very center of my life.

"_A penny for your thoughts"_, she whispered as she kissed my shoulder. She didn't have to ask. She knew well where my mind had taken me.

Edward.

We had done everything we could to help, and he had tried so hard, God love him. He wanted to be with us, he so desperately wanted and needed his family right now but his pain was intolerable. If Esme had placed her arms around me and kissed me in front of Edward, he would have involuntarily dropped to the floor, the pain taking away his ability to stand. He was unable to bear it. Unbearable . . . interesting word. A word thrown around by many and used commonly in conversation but not really understood. I could only imagine the depths and level of pain necessary for something to be "unbearable" to me. I could not imagine being without my mate. Esme's presence gave meaning to my life, I would not have wanted to exist without her. Edward was doing exactly that, by his own hand. He was the one that had made the choice to leave his mate, he could have easily claimed her - a willing participant. In fact, she had begged him to be with her.

"_We'll get through this"_, Esme whispered softly to me as she gently embraced me, "_He'll get through this."_

"_I hope so sweetheart,_" I said as I turned and pulled her to me, "_God how I hope so. He is so a part of this family, I wonder how we will make it without him._"

"_He answered his phone!"_

We heard Alice scream as she flew down the stairs and bounded into the study, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie close behind to see what all the commotion was about.

"_He answered his phone and he is at the airport, in Rio . . . he is headed to Forks! He's going to find her! He is finally going to go find Her!", _Alice bounced up and down with the news!

She had been so distressed not to have been able to see him. Her gift allowed her to see the future, once it was decided. There had to be conscious intent for there to be a future for her visions to work and that is what had us all scared for Edward. Alice couldn't see him.

Alice looked far away, she was seeing something . . .

"_He got on the plane! He did it! _", she shouted with excitement.

Alice told us all of the rest she had seen, rotting timbers and rats, Edward in filthy, torn clothes.

He had hunted, according to Alice, but only because there was time between the time he purchased the ticket and the time the next flight left to Houston on its way to Seattle. His hair was disheveled, but when was it not? The deep embedded purple below his eyes told the story. He had to have gone months without hunting. Months.

"_Oh no! No No NO! We have to go to Forks, we have to be there for him!"_

"_Alice, what have you seen?_", I had to know, _"Alice?", _I waited ._ . . _

"_It's Bella!"_

**EPOV**

I got off the plane in Houston. It was before dawn. I was on my way to the connecting flight when my phone rang. Alice.

"_Hi, Alice! I guess you know I just landed in Houston. Is everything okay there?"_

Alice seemed so surprised that I had asked, she let out a small gasp. I grinned, the first time in months. It was sad, really. She was so happy that I had done something so simple as to inquire if my family was alright.

"_Yes, Edward. Everyone is fine. We all miss you terribly. I am so glad to hear your voice! It makes me so happy! I called to tell you to take the late evening flight tonight. I'm sorry it delays you, I know you really want to get there, but will be sunny in Seattle when you land if you take this flight. You have time to hunt most of the day. It's going to be totally cloudy there all day! It's important, Edward, your eyes look like hell! There are mountain lions nearby, up in the hills!_

"_Thanks, Alice. You are sure about the sun, you're not just wanting to get me to feed by telling me about the lions?", _I said to her.

"_Nope. I might do that to get you fed, but I'm not. I see that the later flight is better and I see you finding mountain lion this morning and tonight! Lucky you! I'll call you if it changes, and I promise I am telling the truth - you know that!"_

I hung up the phone and made my way to the ticket counter. Alice wasn't trying to fool me, she was just being Alice and giving me the benefit of what she had seen. Sunny days in Seattle were so rare, I had not thought to check, even though my original flight got me to Seattle just before noon! Well, just a sign of how far I had slipped. It wasn't like me not to plan my trips based on the sun. Need to be more careful. Have to think.

It was cloudy outside, really cloudy. Who would have thought, cloudy in Houston and sunny in Seattle, just the opposite of what it normally was! I looked out to the Houston skyline and headed out to find breakfast. It was the first time I had cared in a very long time.

Sitting on a ledge, overlooking the landscape below, I paused to think. I had had my fill, for now, two mountain lions and a deer later and I was almost sloshy. It had been a very long few months. I was going home now to the only home I cared about - wherever she was. I thought about the tree outside her window and the hours I had sat there, afraid to talk to her, then the hours I had spent inside he room. She was so interesting when she slept, her face would make expressions and I would guess what thoughts went with the expression. She talked in her sleep. God how many times had I come undone at her words and the sounds she made.

I loved her. There was no doubt.

Her smell was out of this world. I was so overcome with desire for her blood when I had first seen her. It became evident that she was my "singer", as my kind called her. Her blood "sang" to me like a siren call and it was nearly impossible to resist. I had resisted, though. Hours, weeks and days I had spent enduring the fire in my throat that her scent caused, the desire to take her and feast on her sweet blood. I had fallen in love with her, and I had left to protect her from just that sort of thing. The desire for blood that we wretched creatures endured. I wanted more for her

. . . a normal life.

Maybe she had moved on as I had hoped for her. It would be fair. I left her with no choices. She had begged me to stay, tears in her eyes pleading. I died again in that moment. My heart may have stopped beating a hundred years ago, but it was lost to me on that day in the woods. I left everything that I am with her. I had lied to her, that awful God forsaken lie that I did not want her. What could be more from the truth

. . . I need her more than I needed blood.

She was everything to me. I had assumed that her human feelings would fade, that her love for me could not possibly equal my love for her. Vampires are much like stone, rarely changing significantly in any way. Once a change does occur it is permanent. I had fallen in love with her, bonded with her. She was my mate. The fact that the relationship had never been consummated like a human marriage was required to be before it was official was not relevant. My bond to her was enduring and permanent. Now. It would never change whether I was with her or not. I was a fool not to have known that. Maybe I did know, and I just loved her enough to want her to have that normal, human life anyway, regardless of what it would do to me. But what about her -

what if she really did love me the way I loved her,

what if the feeling she had for me did not fade with time,

what if she was in just as much agony as I was!

I would be responsible for her pain. I would have been the cause. If only Alice could see - if only I knew how she was doing. I could stay away if she was happy, guard her from afar. I could do it!

"_Alice_", she picked up on the first ring, _"I didn't ask before, but have you seen her? Seen Bella? I know I asked you not to look, but, Alice, can you see her for me?"_

"_I haven't seen her, Edward. I will concentrate while you fly to Seattle, maybe I can see something",_ she spoke so softly it made me worry. _"I am so glad you fed, Edward. Thank you for trying. We miss you! I'll talk to you in Seattle, now go get the other lion and get on that plane!"_

Seatac airport was as I had remembered it, the flight had been uneventful, filled with thoughts and remembrances of Bella. She flooded my brain, I could not wait to be near her again. As I left the airport I realized I had not planned any further than this. I had not car here, waiting to drive to Forks. It didn't matter, it was only a few hours away running and running always helped me think. Alice must have seen. This must have been why she was so insistent that I hunt. She knew I was incapable of running when I left Rio, I could barely manage to walk then. I was not that much better off in Houston till after I hunted. A day of hunting had returned me to almost normal form. Almost. The deep purple had all but disappeared from under my eyes. My eyes seemed to want to hang on to their black color, but it was not an empty black, it was like fire - hungry with the emotions that were surging through me. They flickered to amber momentarily, but then back to the bottomless black. I yearned for Bella with a desire nothing else could quench, and my eyes reflected these emotions.

"_Alice. I'm in Seattle. Thank you for getting me to hunt, I haven't been able to think clearly, apparently, in quite awhile. The difference between Houston and here is amazing. Anyway, thanks sis. Have you been able to see her? " _I asked.

"_No, Edward. Nothing, It's like she has disappeared!" said Alice. _

"_Alright. Please keep trying! I'll talk to you from Forks. Bye Alice, I love you, too."_

As I headed out of town, I was considering just buying a new car. I had not updated my car in awhile, and Bella might like a blue one. Who was I kidding, she would look awesome in a blue car, midnight blue. Wait, her old truck would surely have died by now! She might need a car. Yes, a blue car. An Audi, and I just happened to know where the dealership was. I looked up as I flagged a cab, there was a billboard overhead advertising Harley Motorcycle Racing. Drag racing, actually. I wonder if she would like to ride on the back of a bike with me, I mused. I laughed to myself as I thought, she would have to ride on the back. Bella on a bike was an accident waiting for a place to happen! She could trip walking over a flat surface, I could never endanger her by giving her a bike, I chuckled to myself at the thought.

I entered the dealership and walked to the showroom. The sales personnel eyed me, their thoughts giving them away.

"_Oh great, some cocky teenager wanting a sports car. What a waste of my time. Oh well, I guess a job is a job, right? It beats unemployment! I might as well go talk to him, there aren't any real customers here right now anyway."_

A heavyset older man approached me. His thoughts were kind, remembering himself at the age he thought me to be, and the love and desire he had for a sports car back then.

"_Can I help you with something young man?,_ said the salesman politely.

"_I think you have just what I am looking for. Is the R8 in the center fully loaded?"_, I asked.

"_Yes, yes it is. Have you seen the sticker price on that car, son_?", he chuckled.

"_Yes sir, I have. I am familiar with the car and the cost_.", I said as I handed him my black credit card. I had no time to play. From his expression, I hoped he would not have a heart attack before he completed the transaction. I had the car put in Bella's name, and the title sent to the house in Forks. She would love this car, and if she didn't, she could choose her own. Anything she wanted, I was not taking any choices from her ever again. I just wanted to surprise her and let her know how sorry I was and how much I loved her.

The car was ready in under an hour, It drove like a dream as I headed to Forks and to my other half, back to my life that I had abandoned almost a year ago. It seemed like centuries.

Bella's truck was in the driveway, and the Chief's was parked on the street. I pulled in behind her truck and parked. I remembered that Bella hated surprises and did not like me spending money one her, but I also knew things had to be different this time. I had to be honest, and I had to be me. My interest in cars is part of who I am, and I want her to have the best of everything. I guess it's just another thing we need to discuss, assuming she will have me back at all. I heard no one but Charlie in the house, and he was in front of the TV watching a game. It was that time of day, I hadn't even paid attention before now.

I walked up to the front door, took a deep, unnecessary breath, and knocked. Charlie opened the door with a frown, his thoughts raging.

"_YOU, what the hell are you doing here?"_

He stood in the door, one hand on the door and the other on the door frame as his mind wondered to thinking about actually shooting me and how much I deserved it. Pictures of Bella flooded his mind -

Bella as she was being brought back out of the woods that day

Bella lying in bed, refusing to talk or move for days

Bella waking at night with nightmares for months on end

Bellas face. Her eyes, the light and life gone from them.

I crumbled. I nearly fell to my knees. "I came to see Bella", I said quietly, hardly able to speak for the images bombarding me.

"_Ha! Did you now! Well Bella isn't here_", he spat.

"_Isn't here? When will she be back?_". I asked, having already heard the answer in his thoughts, but unwilling to accept it.

"_She left after Billy's funeral, she and Jacob. She is gone, son! I don't know where she is."_

I had just enough strength to reach toward his outstretched hand and drop the car key in it.

"_Please keep this for her. I bought it for her."_

I turned and walked away. I had no idea where I was going, it didn't occur to me to look for her, I only knew she was gone and I kept seeing the visions of her in her father's head. What had I done. She was a shell, just like I had been. I had to find her.

I paid no attention to the calls from Charlie, the shouts about the car. I couldn't care less about the car right now, I just had to get away from there. I had to find her . . .

**I'd love to know what you think, it's my first story! Please leave a review!**


	5. Chapter 5 Posters & Crews

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 5 Posters and Crews**

**Jacob POV**

Seattle was the closest place. Too close! Though Bella was of age, we didn't want to be found. We could not go very far on the small bikes, just a notch up from trail bikes though the engines had been bored out, compression elevated and they would fly - they were not meant to endure long rides on. They were for trails and our butts would pay the price on an extended trip!

Calgary then. We passed a poster as we turned onto the expressway near the airport in Seattle that had an ad and a man's photo on it. Much to my surprise, it was my friend Dale on the billboard bigger than life! Dale and his team drag racing Harleys! Dale was a friend and there might be a job in it for me as a mechanic if I could get in touch with him.

We stopped at a small diner close by and both stared out the window watching the cars pass by on the highway leading to Forks. Neither of us spoke . We ordered dinner and just starred out the window. A beautiful blue R8 pulled over momentarily, then was gone. It struck me for a moment, seeing the R8 and the Harley racing billboard at the same time, that if I couldn't reach Dale, maybe a job in an auto repair shop would do for now. I liked fast cars after all and I was almost as good with a wrench on cars as I was on bikes.

Our food came and we ate dinner as I called information and got the number to call Dale. After a few minutes on the phone I had gotten the go ahead to come on up and he would give me a try. It must be the thing to so as it was so easy, it just kind of fell into place! Now the hard part.

"_Bella, Dale says he will give me a try in his garage. Very little pay but I can stay in the room in the back of the shop. I'll be alright, Bella. I'll ride with you almost back to Forks to see that you get home safe. It won't be any place for you living in a garage."_

"_Jake!" , _she said looking at me as though I'd slapped her,_ "I'm not going back! There is nothing for me in Forks. You know you are the only thing that has kept me going since . . . 'he' left. I can't go back, I won't be alone with no one there for me, I want to be with you!"_

She was starting to tremble as she spoke and her arms were slowly wrapping themselves around he chest, like the beginning of a full blown panic attack. Oh God!

"_Okay, alright! Jeez Bella, you can come already. Don't go all upset on me right now! It's too much for me to handle, too! We'll do this together, deal? If it isn't a great place to be, we'll move on till we find something else."_

We finished our meal and checked into the hotel next door for the night, being careful to hide the bikes from view. Tomorrow we would head to Calgary, Alberta, to find Dale and to a new life that hopefully, would somehow bring us both some peace.

"_I'm up all ready! Quit with the ice!"_, I almost yelled.

"_Well, get up then! Quit your drooling and lets get going! We are way too close to home, Charlie will be looking and there is no telling how far he will go to find us - you are still under age, you know! I hope I don't get in trouble for contributing to the delinquency of a minor!"_

"_You wish! What are you now, like 40 or something!"_

_The play fullness stopped. I knew I had struck a sour note, she was always so uptight about age! I wasn't even allowed to mention her age without her getting completely sulky and withdrawn, or mad. Mad was better, at least I could understand that!_

"_Let's go then! Off on our mad adventure!"_

"_Jake, you really may just be cracking up instead of me this time, you know that?"_

We gassed up and headed for Calgary.

Crossing the Canadian border proved to be no problem. We only had backpacks with us and told them we were just out on a day riding trip. They had no reason not to believe us, and anyway we weren't doing anything wrong, at least not legally.

It was a beautiful ride, the northern rocky mountains in the distance containing Baniff and Jasper National Parks, and the cool wide river flowing down from them through the middle of the town. It was a town even more rugged and rustic than Forks, driven by cold and snow in the winter and filled with thousands of visitors in the summer months. Visitors to the famous zoo covering the island in the middle of the river downtown, hikers stocking up on supplies to go off into the forests to hike, camp, fish and hunt, and the ever famous Calgary Stampede, the largest midway-fair-carnival-race in that part of the country. People came from all over Canada and the United States to participate in the stamped.

Dale and his race team were no different. They had come here for those two weeks in July a few years ago and loved it here so much they decided to make it their home base. The All Harley Drag Racing Association (AHDRA) events ran from February thru September each year, and they spent the off time here, working on designs for the bikes and tinkering with all the settings and mixes to get just the right combination that they could win races with.

Dale Racing was pretty easy to find, just at the outskirts of the city. The front of the building was modern and sleek and gave the feel of winners when you approached it. I don't know how else to describe it.

I had know Dale all my life. We both grew up on the reservation and he had taught me to work on engines. I hadn't spoken with him in the couple of years since he had left, but I knew of his success in the drag races and I knew he had his own shop and team.

**All Harley Drag Racing Association AHDRA**

Screamin' Eagle Performance Parts Florida Bike Week Nationals

**Feb 27-28 Orlando Speedworld **

"_I guess this is it then, Dales' name is out front! Are you nervous, Jake?"_

"_What's to be nervous about, I grew up with Dale. He knows my mad skills! If he has the room, I know he'll give me a try and at the least, a place for us to stay for a few days. Just let me go in and see if he is here, Bella."_

I went thru the door and to the counter, as the guy behind the counter was asking me if he could help me, a familiar voice called to me.

"_Jake! Jake man, get over here", _Dale called out excitedly. _ "God, you have grown! You tower over me now, what the hell? You're like, 6 years younger! What are you, 6'2 or better?"_

"_Yea, something like that."_

"_Sorry to hear about your old man. He and your mom had just had that accident the fall before I left the reservation. I knew Billy was in a wheelchair, but I'm sorry to hear you lost him. What the hell happened to him, anyway? I thought that old goat was tough as steel or something! He used to terrify me when I was little!"_

"_Yea, I know. I thought he was indestructible, too. Anyway, Dale, I needed to get away from the res, there is nothing there for me now and I just couldn't sta_y."

"_It's alright man"_, he said as he put his hand on my shoulder, "_I got a place for ya, and your girl!_

_It's not the Ritz, but I think you will be comfortable there. I built it for when I worked late, or had a visitor or when I thought I needed a break from Tammy, but I haven't used it in over a year now. She and I are expecting in a few months! You'll really like her, Jake?"_

"_So where is this girl that you have with you? She's over 18, right?"_, he continued.

He walked out the front door with me to where Bella was waiting, leaning patiently on her bike.

"_Wow, you rode all the way from Forks to here on THOSE? How . . . your arses must be killing you! Those aren't even designed for street use, its a wonder the cops didn't stop you!"_

"_Dale, this is Bella. Bella, Dale"_, I moved to stand beside her as I introduced them.

"_Nice to met you Bella, we need to get Jake to provide something more suitable for you to ride in the future, I just can't believe you made it all the way here on those! Didn't they shake you to death at anything over 50 miles an hour, Jake? "_

"_No, not really. I modified them myself, try one!"_

"_You're serious. Well then, I guess I can play with toy's too! I'm just used to something about 3 times heavier and many times faster, we're trying to break 200 miles per hour out there!"_

"_Just ride the damn thing, we're only talking about it shaking over 50, not breaking the sound barrier here Dale!"_, I laughed.

I glanced at Bella out of the side of my eye as Dale took off. She had confidence in my skills, and he was about to be made a believer. I was not proven wrong. Dale returned and rode the bike directly around back and into the shop area yelling for his mechanic to get over to where he stood with the bike.

"_Jake!"_ , he yelled, _"Meet Marvin. Marvin is my head mechanic. Please explain to him how the hell you made this piece of shit bike run that fast, and smooth as glass! It's just unbelievable!" _Marvin eyed the bike with disbelief, but proceeded to listen as I explained to him the modifications I had made to the engine.

Dale left and went around front, presumable to get Bella and the other bike. They appeared in moments, Dale pushing the other bike for Bella and parking it beside mine.

"_Let me show you guys to the room you can use in the back and we can discuss salary and get started working in the morning, sound good?"_

**BPOV**

I had to admit, I was really tired and ready to soak in a hot tub. I figured there would be no tub, but I was hoping for maybe a shower with warm water and a clean place to sleep.

Dale seemed nice enough, same russet colored skin as Jacob. His black hair hung thick and straight and shiny past his shoulders, not as far down his back as on Jake. He had the same dark eyes and friendly disposition. I could see him being a friend of ours.

I was pleasantly surprised when Dale opened the door and showed us into an amazing little studio entire apartment was fresh and clean and newly decorated with the latest of everything! It had a small but fully functional kitchen, cafe style eat at bar and a sofa and flat screen television set up as sort of a sitting area with the huge bed at the rear of the room.

"_Well, this is it you guys, it's not much but its yours for now, I never stay at the shop anymore with the baby on the way and all. You should be comfortable here, there are towels and sheets in the closets and the kitchen has dishes and cookware and glasses."_

"_This is great, Dale, I really appreciate you helping me and Bella out. I just had to get away from the res for now!"_

"_No problem, besides, you are helping me out. If you can make those clunkers you rode in on ride that smooth, I can't wait to see what affect you can have on the kind of bikes we race with!_

Dale was still talking to Jake as I excused myself and went to check out the attached bathroom. I was not disappointed. I closed the door, checked for an available towel, soap and shampoo, and filled the tub with hot water. Locking the door, I climbed in. I was much sorer and more bruised than I had realized. It was amazing just how many points the bike could rub, burn or bang against you and cause cuts, bruises and burns! Not to mention I still had bruises from the waves bashing me against the rocks at the foot of the cliff at First Beach where we had gone cliff diving the week before.

Amazing how life could turn in the blink of an eye. Last year at this time, my life was set with 'him'. I was going to be with 'him' forever and join his family. I was happy and in love. In the blink of an eye, that bubble had burst, and the nothingness set in. I still pushed the limits in order to see 'him'. To hear 'him'. At least in those fleeting moments, it felt like 'he' was still with me and still cared about me. I still had nightmares.

Jake had helped close the hole in my chest, but it was still there, maybe just not bleeding as much. And now Billy had died. Jake needed me and the least I could do would be to be there for him, to help him like he had helped me. He was my best friend, and I needed him just as much as he now needed me.

I wondered if Jacob could ever be more than a friend to me. He seemed like he wanted to, in fact I always felt like I was hurting his feelings because I shied away from even simple things like holding his hand. It would mean something completely different to him than it did to me. I cared for Jacob, he held a small piece of my heart . . . but the majority of my heart remained with 'him', wherever he was. It didn't matter that he no longer wanted me. My feelings for 'him' hadn't changed, couldn't change . . . could they?


	6. Chapter 6 Returning Home

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 6 Returning home**

**APOV**

Edward's decisions as he had left Rio had become a firm resolve by the time he had reached Seattle. He had been determined to find her and to set things right. I was so proud of him! He finally seemed to have realized what he had done, what we had all done by walking away from Bella. We had denied her choice in her own life . . . it should never have happened.

Ever.

Now that he had come to life again and was getting about the business of living, I could see. I was getting visions of Edward's future again. I had seen that Bella would not be there. Thank God I could see. I had seen him crumble and we needed to get there, fast.

We were after the fact, of course. Jasper and I found Edward in their meadow, hugging his knees and completely silent. He refused to open his eyes. He refused to move. I checked on him everyday and everyday there was no change. Jasper said it was as though he wasn't there - no emotions coming from him. At least he wasn't feeling pain, for now. I stood and starred at the brother I loved, curled up into himself there in the meadow, completely alone and having completely given up. It had to be temporary, we had to find a way! I had to help him.

Jasper and I had the house back to normal in no time. We had only taken personal items from the house when we moved. Esme wanted all new furnishings for the new house in Highlands and it was, after all, on the other side of the country. Everything new was her way of helping Edward as well. He had wanted a clean break for Bella, so Esme was giving him the same courtesy. Everything new, everything different in the new house. Not having the sofa there that he could remember sitting with her on playing video games or watching movies, or the black couch in his room where they would sneak off to make out helped I'm sure. Edwards' grand piano was left . . . abandoned . . . covered with a sheet in the middle of the living room where it had always stood.

It hadn't worked, of course. Even with all new furnishings that contained no memories of her, the loving interactions between members of his family reminded him of his loss and that, above all else, was unbearable for him. It simply wasn't possible for him to live without her.

If I had only had a vision, something . . . anything that would have given away what it would be like for him after what he did, we would never have agreed to it. The family would have stayed in Forks, I would have been there for my best friend instead of abandoning her! Though I understood that he thought he was protecting her from our world and the dangers therein, I resented him. I admit it. I resented that he had taken away my best friend and I had not been allowed to say goodbye, I had simply been expected to abandoned her . . . and I had done it. Now that we were back, I was learning just how devastated she had been.

"_Alice, is that you?"_, a voice called from behind me. I turned to see Angela Webber pushing a grocery cart toward me. I had come to the store to stock up on groceries for our visit, as any human would be expected to do. Cullens have to be thorough in keeping the secret.

"_Angela, so good to see you! How have you been?", _I asked.

"_Great, Alice, and you look awesome as always! Are you in town for a visit? I haven't seen you since your family moved and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye!"_

"_I know, Angela, and I'm so sorry. We left unexpectedly. Carlisle had to fill the position at the new hospital immediately and it caught us all by surprise!" _We moved down the aisle and I put random food in the grocery cart, pretending to examine the boxes and cans and packaging.

"_Well, I missed you! Nothing like Bella missed you guys, of course, but you were missed! We were really worried about Bella for awhile. It was extreme, Alice, she barely functioned She stopped eating, talking. . . everything when Edward left. She was so in love with your brother, I just never expected them to break up! She sat at you old table in the lunchroom at school and wouldn't talk to anyone. Charlie even tried to send her to Florida to live with her mom, but she wouldn't go!"_

I wasn't a mind reader like Edward, of course, but I could see visions of Angela trying to talk with Bella in school and visiting her in he room. Bella looked like hell. She was emaciated and paler than ever if that was even possible and the dull brown hair that framed her face caused the circles under her vacant eyes to look even deeper. I had done this to her. I had a hand in it as surely as Edward, because I had gone along with it!

"_I had no idea, Angela. Edward thought it best not to try and have a long distance relationship, and it has nearly killed him as well. It's just so stupid! They were meant for each other!"_

"_I know, right! Chief Swan even tried to put her on medication!" _ Angela glanced down to the wheels of the carts, as if trying to decide whether to say something or not.

"_I tried, Alice, I kept visiting and calling her, but she just wouldn't respond! She had been doing things that were dangerous, she went to a movie with Jessica one night in Port Angeles and jumped on the back of a stranger's motorcycle! Adrenaline junkie, I think that's what they called it. Bella just kept doing dangerous things! She has been somewhat better though, hanging out with that kid Jake from the reservation, that is till his father died and they both disappeared."_

We paid for out groceries and left, exchanging cell numbers and email so that we could keep in touch better this time. I told her I would call her later in the week, that I didn't yet know how long I would be here and that Edward was here trying to find Bella.

"_Let me know if I can help, I would really like to see them back together. They were so happy! Tell Edward I said hello!_", Angela called as she walked to her car, _"Bye Alice!"_

Jasper returned from checking on Edward just as I finished putting away the last of the groceries. _"Is he any different!"_, I asked softly turning to put my arms around my husband.

"_No, Darlin', he's just the same except for the extra leaves and such that have blown into his hair and on his clothes. He is still not really there. Perfectly still in body and mind"_, he replied as he dropped his head to my neck to kiss me, "It's as if he has totally shut down this time".

"_I know. I can't see his future at all. He has no plans whatsoever, he has made no decisions. He is just existing and nothing more. Maybe at least he isn't feeling right now, maybe he can't even feel his pain. I guess that is the only positive to see in his behavior right now, Jasper!"_

~ooOoo~

I went to Charlie's house late on Saturday afternoon after we had been back a week or so and rang the front bell. The little blue Audi R8 was still sitting in the front driveway. I knew about the car, of course, I had a vision of Edward and his excitement in purchasing it for her.

"_Alice! I guess I'm not surprised to see you here_", he said sternly.

"_Charlie, can I come in?"_, I said timidly.

"_Sure, Alice, come on in."_

We walked to the living room and sat down. Nothing had changed here at Bella's home. It was much the same as it had been last time I was here 6 months ago! The flat screen television was still the prominent feature in the room and Bella's grade school photos, one for each year of her life, still adorned the mantle over the fireplace. Bella had hated those school photos, but she had never been able to get Charlie to put them somewhere else!

Charlie sat opposite from me in his recliner.

"What can I do for you, Alice?", he said warily.

"_I'm back in town for a short while and I wanted to check on Bella, Charlie. I haven't spoken to her since we left and well, she was my very best friend and I miss her terribly!" _

If I could have cried, I would have been doing it. I had thought I could keep my emotions in check, but I was wrong. Charlie relaxed somewhat, seeing my obvious distress. I was unsure if it was because we had always gotten along and he didn't like seeing me upset, or just because he wasn't good at handling emotions on display from anyone. Whatever the reason, he relaxed and took in an obvious breath. His eyes glassed over and he looked out the window as he spoke.

"_It was bad, Alice. When he left, and your whole family left, I thought I was going to loose her. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't move. If she slept, she awoke screaming at the top of her lungs. It went on for weeks. She only spoke if spoken to, she only ate the bites that I insisted she eat. The doctor finally gave her medication, but she refused to take it. I called her mom and Renee came here too take her to Florida, you know, a fresh start. She screamed. She would not go. What the hell happened, anyway Alice? Nothing from any of you for almost a year then HE shows up at my door and leaves a car, and now you! What's going on?",_ he demanded.

"_Carlisle accepted a new job. It was so far from here Edward thought it unfair to her to have a long distant relationship with him. He wanted her to be happy and he convinced us that giving her a clean break would be the easiest way for her, it was always about her for him.", _I told him.

"_I find that hard to believe. How could he care and leave like that? It was a bad choice, Alice"_

He glared as he spoke, _"It nearly killed her. It did kill her spirit, she was never the same, hollow, no life about her. I guess I just didn't realize or didn't want to admit how much in love with him she was. He just left her, Alice! I don't care what the reason was, he just walked away! How much could he have cared. Little bastard just walked away without a second thought to her or her feelings!"_

I sat very very still and stared at him. My anger was getting the best of me and I was grasping for control. He had only seen the effect on Bella. He did not know what it had done to Edward, to our whole family, but he was about to find out! I was in his face.

"_Edward lies curled up in a ball as we speak. He will talk to no one, he won't eat and he refuses to be around any of his family" , _I was nearly shouting at him. He looked astounded, but I continued, _ "This has very nearly killed him. Carlisle gave his blessing to Edward's leaving the family and coming here to return to her because there was no other way he would exist, so do not accuse my brother of not caring for her, he loves her!"_

He looked astounded, "All right_, all right . . . had no idea. I had no idea at all, Alice. The boy really loves her, huh?"._

"_More than anything else in the world_", I stated. It was simply a fact and now he knew it as well.

"_You know he showed up here, about a week ago. Seemed all excited till I told him she wasn't here, that she had left. Alice, he just dropped the key to that car out there in my hand and walked away . . . what was that all about?"_, he asked.

I made no move to answer him, I just sat and listened.

"_After he left I had the tags run on the car - a car like that - Alice, I thought it might have been stolen. I didn't know what a kid, I mean Edward is only 18 and I didn't know what a kid would be doing with a car like that! Dropping the keys in my hand and walking away, I just didn't know what to make of it! Anyway, I had the tag and registration run and it came back Isabella Swan. The title and tags on that car are registered to Bella! Do you know what that car cost, Alice? That is a brand new car, bought the day he came here and fully paid for! That car cost more than my house! Can you explain that to me!"_

"_Charlie, Edward is a little over the top, kind of intense, you know. He thought her truck might have died by now and he wanted her to have a reliable, safe car. Some boys would bring flowers and candy to their girl to make up with them, Edward bought her a car._"

I shrugged my shoulders and said with a smirk. Charlie looked astounded, his jaw was hanging open.

"_She can not accept that, Alice! He should not be spending Carlisle's money like that, I don't care how well off his dad is, but it isn't right_!", he roared.

"_Charlie. It is not Carlisle's money. It's Edwards_", I told him. He looked stunned but I continued, "_Edward had an inheritance from his birth parents and it has been invested wisely over the years. You may not know this, but Edward is something of a financial genius, he invests in the stock market and he actually makes money for himself as well as the rest of the family, he is really amazing."_

"_It still had to be a large chunk of his money, Alice. I can' t let him do that. Not that it matters right now, anyway, no one knows where she is", _his head dropped into his hands as he spoke.

Charlie let me in on the events up until Billy's death, the funeral, and Bella's disappearance. He told me of the cliff diving incident.

"_I would not have believed it except that I saw it with my own eyes, Alice. She just walked right up to the edge of that cliff and jumped off! Next thing I know, I see Jacob in the water with her pulling her out. They said they were cliff diving for fun, but I just don't believe them. Then I found out about the motorcycles! Seems Bella had gotten quite a reputation around here for being an 'adrenalin junkie' and continually pushing for more!" _

He was beside himself.

"_Both of the bikes that I saw them ride to Billy's house on are gone. They took off on the damned bikes! She left a note saying she had to go, something about Jacob needing her. She left a note saying she would call when she knew where she would be. Her passport and all of her money must be with her._"

"_We're going to find her, Charlie. We have to for both their sakes", _I said as I stood to leave. When just outside the front door I saw the car again and turning to Charlie I said, _" Don't worry about the car, Charlie. Edward could afford to buy her one a week and never really notice the decrease in his bank account_", I smiled, noticing the astonished look on his face.

Carlisle called as I returned to the house. I told him about the cliff diving and the motorcycles, and that Bella had disappeared. The cliff diving incident that Charlie described worried him. Carlisle knew all too well how despondent humans could get and the lengths they would go to. He had lived it through that experience when Esme had jumped off a cliff. He had been there to save her and he wanted us to find Bella in time to save her if that was where her intentions were headed. I also let him know that I had foreseen a meeting with the wolves, at their request, and he was making arrangements to fly to Seattle for the few days off that were coming to him next week. Esme was desperate to see Edward and Carlisle knew the wolves could be a problem if not dealt with. We wanted to avoid any problems if we could.

**Sam POV**

"_Are you sure, Paul. How many of them are here_?", I asked.

"_I only caught the scent of three, Edward and the two new ones, the little one with the spiky dark hair and her mate," _Paul reported.

"_We had better alert the pack and find out what is going on", I grumbled._


	7. Chapter 7 Natural

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 7 Natural**

**DALE POV**

"_That's just unbelievable, Marvin!_", I yelled as I brought the bike to a stop in front of the garage area.

"_How did that kid get it this smooth?"_

"_I have no idea, Dale, and I have been in the garage with him the whole time. Kid just has some kind of knack with a wrench is all I can figure"_, he said with a puzzled look on his face, running a hand through his hair.

My guys had been testing the bike all morning while Jake had been sent to pick up some parts a good ways out of town. He would be gone several hours, giving us time to discuss the new wonder kids modifications on the bike and test it out on the track. Jake had been in the shop now a little over a month and I had given him pretty much free reign with my number two bike. 'Monitored' free reign that is. Marvin stayed with him through each step and they discussed what he wanted to do to the bike before he did it. Bikes were money and I hated to have to put a new engine in because someone made a stupid mistake or got careless.

I rode the modified bike, we tested it in the shop, and I had the performance numbers in front of me. We just didn't know how he did it. Jake was getting more power out of the bike than we had ever been able to, and it was smooth as glass at speeds in excess oh a hundred and fifty miles per hour. Damn.

"_Jacob!"_, I called to him as he was unloading parts from the back of the truck. _"Great job on that bike, man! How are you doing it?"_

"_What, did you take it for a run?"_, Jake asked with a note of anxiety in his voice.

"_Yea, I took it for a run this morning! Smooth as glass. We hooked it up and did the numbers on the engine as well. What Marvin and I can't figure out, Jake, is how you are doing it!_"

"_Marvin was there to oversee everything, Dale, if there is a problem . . . "_

"_Jake, Marvin and I have been racing for several years now, running these bikes and building them night and day to try and get the best speeds on the drag strip. Winning is the name of the game because winners get sponsors, man. Simple as that. Money."_

Jake started to speak and I put my hand up, wanting to continue . . .

"_Let me get this straight, kid. I am the only one who taught you how to work on bikes and engines for that matter, right?"_

"_Yea, Dale, you know we used to mess around out in my dad's garage all the time."_

"_And that's the only training you have, just what I taught you and what you tinkered with? Have you taken any classes or read books or worked with another mechanic at all, Jake?"_

"_Just you, Dale. I read magazines that talk about performance, and Bella and I rebuilt the two bikes we rode up here on, but other than a few cars mixed in, that's about it! I guess I just really like tinkering with engines, I don't know."_

_"Jake, that number two bike you have been 'tinkering' with now runs far better than my first line bike._ The number two bike is running 2-4% faster and rides smoother than my number one. Kid, how would you feel about being in the pits for the season and traveling with us. I know I had talked about you staying here and holding down the fort, but the number two bike just got bumped to number one and I need you to keep it what way while we are on the road!"

"_Seriously? That's awesome!"_

Jake looked like the kid that just got handed the keys to the candy store. I wanted him to know how well he was doing, but I wasn't sure I wanted him to know just how important he had become to my team. The kid was a natural, he just seemed to 'sense' the right thing to do to an engine to get what he wanted out of it. Damn, I would give anything to have that myself!

"_Take the day off tomorrow, kid. You and Bella both, get out of here and see the sights around town, have a long weekend. We leave beginning of next week and I know you will want time with her before we go."_

Jake looked as though I had slapped him.

"_What, a day off is a bad idea to you?"_

"_No, no. Thanks for the day off, that's great. It's just that, I can't go on the road for race and leave Bella here. It's a long story, Dale, but she has been there for me since Billy died and I just can't leave her here."_

"_Jake, I don't want to pry into things that are not my business, but didn't you tell me you guys were just friends? I know you share the apartment and I assume there is room for two on a king sized bed, but unless there is more there that I don't know about, it doesn't make sense for you to be so attached to her!"_

"_It's a long story, Dale, but I won't leave her."_

"_Fine fine, Jake. Bring the girl. I need you on the crew! But she will have to help out!"_

_"Thanks, Dale. She doesn't mind getting grease on her. Let me talk to her about it, though before you mention it to her, alright? I'll give you an answer Saturday, that gives me time to go off with her tomorrow and discuss it."_

We shook hands and I watched the boy walk back into the garage to put the parts he had unloaded away. I had paperwork to do, I sat in my office finishing the last of the paperwork, Bella brought in coffee.

"_Thanks, hon!"_

"_You're welcome, Dale",_ she said as she left my office. Bella had been working with my wife Tammy in the front office, filing and doing accounts when there were no visitors to deal with. It was working out well, Tammy being pregnant and all, she enjoyed the company. Bella had picked up on how we run things so well, that Tammy was able to leave a little early in the evenings, getting off her feet for a few hours before I got home. Hell, with Jake around, I had even been able to leave with her some days and we were spending more time together alone than we had in several years. Tell you the truth, I was getting spoiled to it.

**JPOV**

The crew were to head to Louisiana, Phoenix then Atlanta before heading north to Pennsylvania and Ohio, finishing in Rockingham, NC in September. It was March. When Bella and I had arrived here, Dale had just returned from a disastrous race in Orlando. The bike had malfunctioned and the number two bike that they were forced to race with had not placed well. A lot was riding on the race in Louisiana, and I wanted to be there for him. He had helped Bella and I out a lot, I would just have to see what she thought about going on the road.

The apartment Dale was letting us use had worked out well, though Bella had been skeptical in the beginning. There was only one bed and Bella didn't yet feel about me the way I felt about her. She insisted that I was her 'best friend' and wouldn't allow it to go any farther.

"_Jake, stop!",_ she had said as we lounged on the couch watching a movie one evening. I had put my arm around her, which was normal for us, but that night I leaned in to kiss her.

"_Jake! You're my friend, you know friends doesn't involve kissing."_

"_Bells, why won't you let yourself go and realize how you feel about me!"_, I said softly as I nuzzled her neck. She didn't say anything, she just got up to refill our sodas from the kitchen. When she came back with the drinks, she handed mine and sat on the floor in front of me, leaning on the sofa and watching the movie.

"_Bella, is it him? Is that the reason we are only friends?"_

"_Jake, I . . . I just can't. It wouldn't be fair to you. I'm not one of the bikes that can be fixed, I'm never going to run right. Just leave it at that, ok?"_

"_No, that's not true. I could be there for you if you would only let me! You know you care for me, right?"_

"_Yes, I care for you. I love you, you know that. I wouldn't be here for you if I didn't, but Jake, you're my friend and that is all it can be. Thee is nothing else in me to offer", _she said as she looked down and fidgeted with the ice in her coke.

"_How can that be! He left you, Bella. He left you in the woods and never came back! How can you still care for him, how could he have ever cared for you and done that to you?"_

I knew I had gone too far. "Stop it, Jake! Just STOP!", she yelled as she ran and buried her face in the pillows on the bed, crying. I didn't need her say it to know it was the truth, I lived it. She screamed every night. Every. Night. I would hold her and she would settle down and give in to restful sleep after awhile, but the dreams were there every night. She called his name, she begged him not to leave her. She told him she loved him.

Every night.

At least she was eating now, and she had gained back some of the weight she lost. The month after he left, she wouldn't talk unless you asked her a question, and she would only eat enough bites to stop people from yelling at her to eat. Charlie sat up with her during her nightmares.

After she brought the bikes to me and we started working on them together, her daytime hours improved. She talked, she ate, and she even smiled sometimes. She never spoke of him, and she never told anyone what happened. The story around town was that Dr. Cullen got offered a lucrative position in Los Angeles and the family had to quickly relocate there. They all left, and that was all we ever heard about it. Alice never even called her, which was really weird because she and Alice were best friends. The whole thing was fishy, as though there were some hidden reason for all of it, but Bella would never talk about it.

My dad and Sam had been excited that the Cullens left, people on the reservation at La Push had never liked them and the legends and rumors of old told the tale that they were not allowed on the res. Superstitious old fools. It didn't matter, they never came there, not even to First Beach, and they were gone now anyway.

I turned off the movie, and went to the bathroom to put my flannel pajama pants on, returning to sit on the bed opposite the side where Bella lay. Her tears had stopped, and she had showered and put on her old sweats and a t shirt and was ready to turn in for the night. I crawled under the covers and touched her shoulder, encouraging her to turn over and talk to me. I wanted to continue the discussion about Cullen, I wanted to make her see that he was not worth it, but I could not stand to see her cry.

Instead, I told her that we both had the day off tomorrow, making it a long weekend. We had taken no time to see the sights around Calgary, though neither of us had ever been there before. It was mid winter, and most days were too cold to go anywhere on the bikes, but it was supposed to be up in the fiftys tomorrow, and I wanted to go sightseeing with her.

"_Lets go see the zoo that everyone talks about, want to?"_, I asked.

"_Sure, Jake, that sounds like fun! Lets sleep in and go midday when it is the warmest, kay!"_

"_Kay, night Bells."_

"_Night, Jake"_, she said as she rolled to face away from me, like she did every night.

It was only a couple of hours till the screams began. The talking, begging him not to leave her, declaring her undying love for him. Again. I held her till she calmed, and vowed to kill the son of a bitch that did this to her if I ever laid eyes on him again!

Morning came, well late morning that is. I guess we both needed to catch up on our sleep as it was ten before either of us opened an eye. The sun was shining and it was quite pleasant on the bikes, with enough sweaters and coats!

The zoo was everything it had been advertised to be. The animals had habitats to live in and were not caged and they seemed healthy and happy. It took a couple of hours to see the zoo, there were that many exhibits. We had packed a lunch to bring with us and headed for the campground attached to the zoo. The Calgary zoo was located on an island in the middle of the river that ran thru town. The river came from the distant mountains to the West, the upper part of the Rockies and the continental divide, part of which was Jasper and Baniff National Park. The mountains were gorgeous looking up in the distance with their snow capped peaks. Needless to say, the water in the river was like ICE! We sat at the Western tip of the island, starring at the skyline of the city and the mountains in the distance. It seemed surreal to have a city poking up in this setting, here on what could be imagined to be a desolate, rocky shore and wilderness in the distance.

"_Lets build a damn!",_ Bella said as she took off her shoes and socks and rolled up her jeans.

"_Are you loco, chica? That water has to be 40 degrees or something!"_

"_Come on Jake, you never seem to get cold! Look at you, you don't even need your jacket out here today! You're abnormally warm and you know it!"_, she said as she tip toed into the river.

The river was maybe twenty yards wide on each side of the island, but most of it was only a foot or so deep, unless you got into the narrow main stream of current. Bella set about stacking stones on top of one another in one of the smaller eddies. It wasn't long before she and I had created about a twenty foot area that was deeper than the rest, kind of a small swimming pool - well, wading pool. It was really only a foot or so deeper than the surrounding area, but given the amount of work it had taken, we considered it deep and wide!

Though we thought it had only been a little while, we looked up startled to see the pink and orange colors staining the sky! We had stayed all afternoon, and the sun was setting!

"_I'm f..fr...free...freezing, Jake!"_, she said as her teeth chattered.

We had been laughing so much and exerting ourselves by moving the river stones to form the damn that we hadn't really noticed how cold it was till we stood still for a few minutes, watching the sunset. Bella's lips were blue!

"_Come on, lets warm up!"_, I said as we walked out of the river to the picnic table where we had parked the bikes. We had brought a blanket to have the picnic on, not knowing that there would be tables, and I wrapped it around us both to warm her up. I really did seem to always run hotter than normal, and the extra body heat proved useful! I had her warm in just a few minutes, warm enough for me to unwrap myself from the blanket and sit in front of her, rubbing her still blue feet to warm them, before we put shoes back on.

"_God, you're so warm, Jake. Thank you! That feels great - except for the tingling as the feeling comes back into my feet! Ouch!"_

"_Serves you right for wanting to play in the damned river, silly one!"_

"_Admit it, you had a great time, didn't you!"_

"_I did. I admit it."_, I said as I put her shoes and socks back on for her. I moved to wrap myself back in the blanket with her and finish watching the sunset. Her mood was light and playful and I thought this might be a good time to talk to her about going out on the road with Dale.

"_Bells, Dale really likes the modifications I made to the bike. He is moving the number two bike to number one!"_

"_Wow, Jake, that's great! Tammy is happy with me in the office, as well, though I miss helping you in the garage!"_

"_You mean that, Bells?"_

"_What!_", she asked.

"_You miss being in the garage and helping me?"_, I said as I shoulder bumped her.

"_Yea, I do, kinda"_, she said shyly. _"I like being near the bikes._"

"_Well, you are gonna love this, then. Dale has asked me to join the pit crew and go on the circuit with them for the next few months. What do you think?"_

She froze. I had not seen that look cross her face since before we left Forks. In fact, since the night he left her in the woods.

"_No, no, Bells. __**BOTH**__ of us, we would both go. I told him I would not go without you, and he agreed if you would be willing to work with the crew, gopher and such. I told him you were great in the garage and you would like it! I was right, too, wasn't I! You do miss working on the bikes in the garage with me!"_

"_I don't know, Jake. I haven't even let Charlie know where I was, I only told him I was safe and with you. I miss Charlie, but there is nothing for me in Forks, I don't want to go back."_

"_Bells, the second race is in Phoenix, you can show me around your town! It will be GREAT!"_

**BPOV**

Jacob was right, working on the bikes with him on the crew was exciting. I got to fire up the bikes and ride them sometimes when we were moving them from place to place. I had become an excellent rider, and was a perfect fit on the bike. Less weight, greater speed and all that, yet my long legs allowed me to balance and function with the controls. It was awesome.

Louisiana was amazing, I had never been east of Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the terrain was so completely different that I loved admiring and exploring the countryside on our off days. We had left our bikes in Calgary, but often borrowed some from Dale and even with the increased speed, I had become such an accomplished rider that riding seemed no longer dangerous or threatening to my safety. I only saw "him" when I did something dangerous,and the bikes had become routine for me. I longed to see 'him'.

I was in the garage at the track after the race in Louisiana, we had placed well with the bike Jake had altered, Dale riding it. The finals were in two days.

"_Bella, bring the number two bike out of the carry all and in here please"_, Martin said.

I went to get it, removing the tie downs and backing it out of the trailer. I don't know what got into me, the nitrous oxide was not set up, but I saw the track in front of me and I just couldn't help it. I HAD to see 'him'. I cranked the bike and instead of heading back to the pit, I headed out to the drag strip. I stopped at the lights, I hadn't burned the tire or prepared in any way and I was only wearing a helmet and jeans, not riding gear. It didn't matter. I hit the lights to start the flashing from red to yellow to green, then . . . I rolled the throttle. The bike roared into motion, my body started to lift off the seat, my arms holding me to it. As I increased in speed, the wind pushed me down, affixing me to the bike, forcing me to become a part of the machine.

'He' was there, holding a hand out - "_Stop, this is dangerous!"_

I saw his form as clear as that last moment in the woods, looking at me, speaking to me. This time, 'he' looked at me with love, as though he didn't want me hurt. For a moment, the whole in my chest closed. His form was there at the quarter mile mark as well, and a little further down the track, 'he' was there again! I had done it! I managed to see 'him' again! I was so happy, I was sobbing tears by the time I stopped the bike at the end of the track. I was unprepared for what happened next.

Jake was there in a flash. _"What the hell, Bella! Are you trying to kill yourself?"_, he roared!

"_No, Jake, I just, I just . . . I don't know. I wanted to try it, that's all!"_

Martin and Dale came flying down the track in Dale's pickup. _"What the hell"_, Dale screamed as he jumped from, the truck. _"She didn't mean anything, Dale, there is no harm done. The bike is fine, and so is Bella, No blood, no foul",_ Jake said as he tried to divert what was sure to be an onslaught of cussing and probably me being asked to leave, or Jake fired for defending me.

Dale looked at me incredulous. _"Bella, you just made better time for the quarter mile than I did this week at this track! Where the hell did you learn to ride like that, and why didn't you tell me?"_

Jake and I looked at each other and just shrugged our shoulders, astounded that Dale did not seem angry. You could have knocked us over with a feather when Dale turned to Martin and said,

"_I think we have an alternate rider for the race tomorrow!"_


	8. Chapter 8 Leaves & Looking

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 8 Leaves & Looking **

**Carlisle POV **

"_Ready to go, Pedal?"_, I moved to wrap my arms around my wife's waist as she gazed out over the rail of our back deck. The sunset over the mountains here in the southern Appalachian mountains was beautiful, green rain forest giving way to hazed mountain peaks in the distance, the clouds turning warm colors of fire in the sky. We hadn't lived here in North Carolina in over 60 years, but I remembered its beauty then, as well. Emmett's human life had started and ended in the South, his encounters with bears ending quite differently now than it had then. The serene beauty of the evening landscape did nothing to mask the pain my family was in. My oldest son was slipping away from me. Despite my best efforts and those of the rest of our family, reality was waiting in the side lines . . . waiting for me to recognized . . . waiting for me to admit the possibility that we were gong to loose Edward.

"_We have to help him, Carlisle, we have to find a way!"_

"_I know sweetheart, I know. Alice and Jasper haven't been able to budge him." _

"_There has to be a way. He finally realized he made a mistake in leaving her! We have to help him, we have to help both of them! I want our daughter back, and I WON'T loose my son!", _Esme exclaimed as she turned to face me. My wife was adamant, she had been Mom to Edward for over 80 years, and she wasn't about to stop now. We were about to leave to meet the rest of our family at our former home Forks, Washington. The trip was uneventful, only a couple of hours down the winding road to the expressway that led to the Atlanta airport and a five hour flight to Seattle. Alice was there to meet us, Emmett and Rosalie had arrived in Forks a couple of days before us.

"_Mom, dad! I'm so glad you're here!"_, Alice exclaimed as she flew across the terminal to engulf us in hugs.

"_Is there any change?"_, I asked.

Alice looked down and nodded her head once,_ "No, nothing. He just sits there. The snow has gone and he has dried out a bit, but he is just like he must have been when he was in Rio. Jasper can't get anything from him at all, as though there is no one there . If we didn't physically know he was in their meadow, I would not be able to find him, there is nothing in his future, no visions, no decisions, no plans . . . just nothing. I'm so afraid for him, dad . . . it feels like we've lost him!" _Alice looked at me with eyes so forlorn and filled with anguish, age somehow showing in her pixie like face.

I heard Esme gasp when she heard the words from Alice. She looked at me, her eyes on fire,

"_I WILL NOT loose another SON! Let's get to him, NOW!"_

We went straight to the meadow. It was surreal. Though I have walked this earth for over three hundred years, I have never seen anything as heartbreaking as my son sitting in their meadow. His back was leaned against a tree, his arms folded around his knees that were drawn to his chest. His head, bowed in defeat and grief, rested on his knees, eyes closed. He was not breathing . . . still as a statue, as only a vampire can be. The elements had not been kind to him these past weeks, a small bank of snow joined him to the tree on his right side and various pieces of debris and leaves had blown into his hair and against his other side, I suppose from the wind coming in from the east. I dropped to my knees in front of him and touched my head to his, my hand on his shoulder.

"_Son, please. Your mother and I are here with you. Emmett and Rosalie have come as well. All of them are waiting at the house, won't you please come there with me and let's talk about this. Edward, Please!", _I begged him. Nothing. Absolutely no response.

Alice put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me, to no avail. I could not imagine the intensity of the pain my son must have felt to put him in this state. He hadn't fed since Houston, weeks ago.

"_Should we just pick him up and move him to the house?", _Alice asked, her brow furrowed and her eyes pleading. Anything, she would do anything for her brother. She and Edward had always been the closest of my children, other than their mates.

"_No!", _the answer to Alice never left my lips, it was Esme that spoke. _"You all go to the house. Carlisle, you need to talk to Alice and Jasper and set up a meeting with the wolves. Leave me with Edward." _Alice and I both stared at her, but she left no room for discussion. _"Go on, I'll be there later. I want some alone time with my son"_, her voice was authoritative and her jaw was set. I knew my wife well enough to know when to just do as I was told and this was one of those times.

"_Come on, Alice, let's go to the house'_, I said as I put my arm around my youngest daughters shoulders.

**Esme POV**

I watched as my husband and daughter walked away. Dawn was just breaking over the horizon, and with each new day we had to have hope. I sat down in front of my son and engulfed him in my arms, my cheek next to his and gently spoke to him.

"_Son, I'm here with you and I am not going to leave",_ I said as I traced circles on his back and ran my fingers thru his hair, removing the twigs and debris that had collected there.

"_Do you remember, about 80 years ago when Carlisle first brought me home to be with you? I was heartbroken, as you are now. I felt hopeless and empty, nothing but searing pain and anguish ran through me. That's why I had jumped off the cliff to die, to end the pain and emptiness, I know you remember", _there was no response from him, but I continued to straighten his bronze locks and speak softly top him.

"_Edward, I've seen the emptiness in your eyes, the pain, and I recognize it as I probably looked the same to you back then. I had no choice, Edward. My baby died and I had no choice. I know this is hard for you to hear, son, but you did this. You walked away from Bella. She begged you to stay and you walked away, enduring that agony for months now, but son, you have realized your mistake! You can fix this! Find her son, FIGHT! You have the choice I didn't have. You have a chance to end your pain and probably hers as well by finding her! Make it right son! Use the fact that you still have the choice and the option open to you. She is not dead like my baby was! FIND HER! Take this pain away from you both! Do you want her to continue in the agony you feel, Edward? Is that how you love her? You know she is feeling it, you know deep down inside that she loved you with everything that she was. I don't believe a love like that fades, human emotions or not. I believe she is out there in pain and if you love her, YOU need to find her and help her. Fix this, Edward . . . fix it before it is too late and she dies. There is no chance if you wait so long that something happens to her! Please son, please! We will all help you, but we need you! Help us get back the daughter we have all lost, and the mate that you are not going to survive without!" _If I were capable of crying tears, they would have accompanied my sobbing. I just held him as tightly as I could, loving my son.

I felt him take a breath. His head slowly lifted, his eyes starring into mine. He unlocked an arm from around his knees and hugged me, our faces touching. I don't know how long we were there, hours or minutes. The midday son was shining brightly, an unusual happening in Forks in March, but there it was none the less. He rose, wordlessly and stretched out his hand to help me up, teetering himself in his attempt to stand. With his arm around my shoulder, we started walking together towards home.

Edward was quite weak, I wasn't certain of how stable he was on his feet, if he had his arm around me for comfort or out of need. Well, need either way really. I had him sit on a small rock outcropping on the trail as I disappeared for only a few moments. I had smelled a heard of deer just over the ridge and I quickly snapped the neck of one of the larger ones and brought it to him.

"_Dinner, son! Don't be rude and refuse what your mother fixed for you"_, I said with a smile. He smirked at me, but he fed none the less, accepting another from me before we started for home.

**APOV **

"_I called J. Jenks again Darlin', this time I was more insistent with him. I think he will redouble his efforts to find them. I sent a photo of Jacob as well. Two will be easier to find than one, if she is with him as Charlie said."_

Jasper was trying to comfort me. We were all worried. Emmett . . . well Emmet was Emmett. It wasn't that he didn't care, he was just very in the moment. We had not seen Emmett and Rosalie in a month, since Jasper and I had come to Forks to be with Edward, and he and Jasper had just finished a morning filled with video games. It was just kind of their way of bonding, something they loved to do together.

Rosalie sat on the recliner, her legs folded under her flipping thru a magazine. _"Why the hell don't we just go drag his ass back here, at least we would know where he was and one of us wouldn't have to always be out in the meadow with him! Damned fool!", _she exclaimed.

"Enough Rose!", Carlisle admonished her, _"We are going to find a way to help him, but we can't force him!"_

"_Wow, check this out!"_, Emmett roared. He had changed from video games to television and the noon news feature was on. There was a clip of a girl on a motorcycle. _"Check her out! That tiny little thing just won the All Harley Drags in Louisiana! That's just wrong, dude. What the hell is a girl doing drag racing motorcycles?"_

The magazine Rose had been reading flew at Emmetts' head at a velocity only a vampire was capable of achieving. He ducked just in time and we watched as the lamp shattered against the wall, having taken the impact for him!

"_You're such a jerk!"_, Rose yelled at her husband as she came to sit and watch the news report. _"Women can ride just as damned well as a man! It's just a bike for goodness sake, it's not as if there is anything to do but just sit on it and balance!"_

"_That bike weights at least 4 or 5 times what she does and it runs right at two hundred miles an hour, Rosie, a human woman just doesn't have the power or stamina to ride that thing!"_

"_Apparently she does. She won, didn't she!"_

They all listened intently as the reporter described what appeared to be an upset in the racing world. It seemed as though this little girl came out of nowhere to race for the first time, and won! She had her helmet on and you couldn't get a good look at her face. The reporter was scrambling for any details about her at all, other than the fact that she raced for DALE RACING out of Calgary, Alberta.

"_She did it! She did it, she did it, she did it"_, I screamed, jumping up and down and clasping my hands! _ "Esme!"_

"_What about Esme, Alice?_", Carlisle asked, a look of concern crossing his face. It took Alice a moment to answer, her eyes glassed over staring blankly out into the room.

Jasper came to stand next to his wife, concern in his face and his arm around her, _"What is it, darlin', what do you see?"_

"_Esme got him to come home with her, she caught dinner for him and he fed!"_

"_I see him, dad, he's going to try . . . he's going to try and find her, mom convinced him! _Even Rose and Emmett high fived each other as we all stared, astonished, as Esme and Edward came inside the house.

"_Thank you, son",_ Carlisle said as he hugged Edward tightly, then taking Esme in to his arms.

"_Leave it to Mama Bear to not take no for an answer! I love you, petal!"_

"_Good grief, Edward, you look terrible!"_, Rosalie exclaimed in true to Rose form.

"_Hush Rose",_ Emmett quickly exclaimed in one of his rare moments of admonishing his wife. He walked over and shoulder bumped his brother, hugging him and welcoming him back! Everyone joined in the hug."

"_Guess I could use a shower. I haven't had one since I left Rio_", he said sheepishly.

"_GO"_, I demanded, pointing at the stairs, "_There are new clothes in your closet!"_

It took a couple of weeks, really, for Edward to feed enough to be back to himself, at least somewhat. He could concentrate now, not like when he was starving himself and was easily distracted from his trail of thought or direction. Any trace or hint of last falls foolish plan to stay way from Bella was gone. He was adamant and steadfast in his decision to leave no stone unturned until he found her.

Edward saw the effort we were all putting in to help. All he read in our minds was the resolve to find her. He put enormous effort in as well, trying to act as normal as possible, carrying on like he always had but with a driven purpose we all shared - find Bella. Carlisle had been pleased with the turn of events, the part where Edward was at least trying. He was as distressed as Edward that she was not there.

**EPOV**

"_Are you sure we shouldn't have brought the others, Carlisle?"_, I asked yet again. _"Alice can't see and it makes me nervous!"_

"_Alice saw us later today, after the meeting, Edward. It will be alright. We just have to be calm, it's a friendly meeting remember!"_

The wolves had not been happy when they noticed our scent in the area. They had made no effort to show their approval of our departure last fall, and though our treaty with them was forged some 80 years ago with Billy Black's father,and tribal chief, it seemed necessary to reestablish our commitment to the treaty, and to insure theirs.

We stood in the field where we used to play baseball. My mind started to drift, to remember when I had brought Bella here to watch a game with me. She had looked so amazing with my hat on, wide eyed watching our game! My phone rang. _"Edward, concentrate!"_, the pixie on the other end scolded.

Sam and Paul walked into the clearing from the other end, they were in human form but only came within about five yards of us.

"_Sam, it's nice to see you again",_ Carlisle spoke first. _"We were sorry to hear about Billy."_

"_It's actually Billy we want to talk about"_, said Sam, his thoughts all over the place. _"We don't think his death was an accident. It was a vampire"_, he stated coldly, accusingly. He stared at me, almost as if he willed me to hear his mind. He replayed for me the day of Billy's death and the scent he had gotten at his house. I stiffened immediately.

"_Victoria!"_, I said.

Sam starred, _"Victoria? Who is Victoria?"_

"_Remember last year, about this time - Bella ran off to Phoenix and the public story was that I went and talked her into coming back?"_

Sam nodded his head._ "It wasn't a fall that broke her leg in Phoenix, it was a vampire named James. He and his mate, Victoria, made a game out of tracking and trying to kill Bella to get at me. There was a third with them, Laurent, but he refused to play their sadistic game."_

"_Was Laurent black with shoulder length dreadlocks?", Sam asked._

"_Yes."_

"_That explains a lot. We killed Laurent about a week before Bella and Jacob left. She must have hurt Billy to avenge him!", _said Sam.

"_Yes, that would make sense. It was Victoria's scent you picked up at his house. I tracked her when I left here last fall, but I lost her scent somewhere in South America near Rio."_

Both Sam and Carlisle starred at me. Apparently the idea of me attempting to track someone to kill them hadn't entered their minds before. The answers that I had for Sam eased the tension between us considerably. The wolves had been on high alert since they lost Billy That I recognized the scent in Sam's memory and could put a name to it and a motive for why she would have attacked Billy seemed to calm them. Since we had left town, no more of their tribe had phased, until Billy was killed that is. Since then, in the last month, apparently they had several new additions to the pack.

"_Since you have cleared up the ownership of the new scent, tell us why you are back. We have seen the state you were in, Edward. We patrol the meadow where you were sitting" , _Sam said as he glared at my son.

"_Edward has returned to look for Bella", _Carlisle told him.

The atmosphere instantly changed. If looks could kill, the glare Sam gave me would surely have done it. I saw in his mind what Bella looked like when he found her and carried her home. I felt the murderous rage he felt toward me, that I would dare to even mention her or dare to look for her after what I had done to her. Visions filled his head . . . her broken, catatonic, Charlie and Billy worried, Jacob trying to coax her out to do something, anything but sit in her room filled his head!

"_Bella left with Jacob after the funeral. We don't know where they are, not that it could ever be any of your business!", _Paul spat! I stiffened.

Carlisle stepped in and put a hand in front of me, moving slightly in front of me to speak.

"_You wanted to meet, we have answered your questions. We are here for a visit only. Victoria is our enemy as well as yours, she is not now nor has she ever been a part of my family. Our treaty is intact. If there is nothing else, I think this meeting is over."_

_Sam nodded in agreement, "The treaty is intact. We have no evidence otherwise. I have assumed Billy's role as chief in Jacob's absence. I will tell you though, we will protect Bella from you. She was almost like a daughter to Billy," Sam turned and looked directly at me," and we will not see her with you, Edward." _They turned to leave.

Carlisle's arm was secure in front of me and his thoughts screamed for my silence. My father pleaded with me mentally to just stand still and we would discuss it after the wolves left. I could do nothing else. My rage was such that if I had opened my mouth, I would have exploded. The very idea of them thinking Bella need protecting from me. From ME. I loved her! Nothing was said as we walked toward the house to tell the others what had happened. I was glad at lest that Laurent was out of the picture and if Victoria was near by, I would end her this time. She would not get away from me again!

I doubled my efforts to find Bella I went with Alice to talk to Angela. Alice had hoped I could pick something out of her mind that would help us to find Bella. The only thing in her mind were images of Bella broken, sad, crying. The hole in my chest only grew larger with each image of the pain I had caused her. More and more i was seeing that she had been living exactly the same half life that I had the last seven months and that she, too was in unbearable pain.

"_I'm so sorry, Edward. I told Alice when I ran into her in the grocery store, I wish I did know where Bella was but I just have no clue. You will be the first call I make if I hear from her, though, even if it's just an e-mail from her." _She dropped her eyes to the ground and spoke very quietly,_ "I'm glad you're looking for her, Edward. She really loves you, you know!" _

"_I know, Angela, I am really beginning to understand just how much."_

There was no malice in her mind, she was genuinely hopeful that we would find her and glad that I appeared to really still care for her. We thanked her and promised to try and keep in better touch with her from now on.

It was the same story when we went into Newton's Outfitters to speak with Mike, though I had to wade thru his overflowing hatred for me to read anything else in his mind. The thoughts of all of her friends and people that had known her well were the same. No one had any idea at all where she had gone, other than the fleeting thought that she had gone back to Phoenix. I was overwhelmed and brought to my knees by the images that flooded their heads. Images of Bella, more dead than alive. Tear stained face, dull lifeless hair, clothes hanging on her frail thin form, hollow cheeks with deep circles under her blank eyes . . .

"_Hold it together, Edward", _Jasper entreated me. He was doing all he could to help my mood, almost constantly at my side. I was sure that his efforts to keep my emotions in check were draining him. I suggested we hunt, which surprised him. The entire family knew of my months without feeding, but I felt bad for Jasper putting so much effort in. The lest I could do was see that he fed, and I with him.

I tried to ignore the pain it caused me to be with this family I loved. I encouraged them to act as normal as possible around me, no walking on egg shells to not show affection to each other for fear of hurting me as they had done at out home in Highlands. I tried to absorb and hide my pain and Jasper helped me with it. They had rallied around me to help find her and the least I could do was to try and be the son and brother to them that they deserved. In spite of my being an ass, I loved my family dearly.

I had been drug down from my room this afternoon to watch drag races on television. Apparently the girl Emmett and Rosalie had argued over a few weeks ago was racing again, and they wanted to watch the live telecast of the race. I humored them.

"_Come on, Edward?_", Emmett called from the sofa, _"You gotta see this chick race!"_

You had to love Emmett, he was so full of life and enthusiasm! He was right, the girl was small framed and as we all watched in disbelief, she won race after race at speeds that would excite even vampires! That must be the attraction, I thought. We all loved to go fast and here was a frail little human not afraid to be on a motorcycle fueled by nitrous oxide, closing in on two hundred miles per hour. At least if one of us were doing it we would walk away from a crash, I doubted the same would be true if she should wreck!

"_Yes!"_, screamed Rose, _"She won again!_"

** Phoenix?**

The announcer still seemed to have only a few details of the girl, apparently this race was in her home town of Phoenix, Arizona. Oh God. Phoenix! Jasper got to me just as I sank to my knees, my head in my hands. Memories of the Ballet studio, James, Bella bleeding flooded my head.

"_Edward, dude, calm down!"_, Jasper flooded the room with calm, but it seemed to have little effect. I rocked back and forth and tore at my hair, wild with worry over her!

"_God, please, we have to find her!"_


	9. Chapter 9 Drag & Pull

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 7 Natural**

**Chapter 9 Drag and Pull **

**Jasper POV**

The mood hung so heavy in the house it was unbearable. It was all I could do to keep Edward just above suicidal and the rest of the family from going for each others throats in their stress and anxiety over being unable to find Bella. We all realized that if we did not succeed in finding Bella, we would loose Edward. We were trying to all support each other as a family but it was becoming more and more difficult. Every avenue lead to nothing, every road was a dead end. How could one little 18 year old girl manage to just disappear without a trace!

I had even paid a 'personal' visit to Mr. J Jenks in Seattle to discuss my displeasure with his lack of results and to encourage him to redouble his efforts. Hopefully his heart rate went back down a bit after I left and did not necessitate medical care. He would worry that I would not like the delay that would cause. I chuckled tp myself at just how terrified the man was of me!

Carlisle and Esme had spent his entire two week leave from the hospital helping us search. Just opening the new hospital had great responsibilities and he had to get back to Highlands. Practicing medicine was important to Carlisle and Edward convinced not top jeopardize his position at the hospital, that the best thing for him to do was to go and flesh out our human alibis so that we all had a comfortable home to come to once we found her. There was nothing Carlisle could do here that we were not already doing.

**Esme POV**

"_Son, I'm staying here with you!"_

I told Edward as I slipped my arm around his waist. He was standing, looking out over the river towards the sun setting and the colors dancing over the Olympic mountain range that bordered the sea. I mused about how similar he really was to his adopted father. Carlisle had the same look of worry darkening his beautiful face as he had looked out over our backyard at our home in Highlands before flying here to Forks to join in the search. They had been together for so many years, their habits and the small inflections in their voices and faces often mirrored each others.

"_Mom, no. Dad needs you, you know he can't be without you_"

Edward said softly as he turned to face me. I'm 109 years old mom, and I am just beginning to understand the bond you and dad share. I would never ask you to be apart. I never want you feeling any of the loneliness I feel, even briefly.

"_I will not leave you, Edward. You can't be trusted to feed and care for yourself right now and you know it!"_

"_Mom!"_

"_No, I mean it, son. I will not have you starve yourself again!"_

"_Mom, I promise I will hunt. Really, I will. You can check with Alice to make sure."_

"_Edward, do I have your word?"_

"_Mom . . ."_

"_No. I mean it. Your word you will feed at least once a week. Look me in the eye and swear it."_

"_Yes, mom. Once a week, at least! I Promise you, alright!", _his eyes were adoring as he stared into mine_, "I wouldn't be able to stand it if I knew I was the cause of you two being separated. I know how that feels and I just can't be the reason for any more pain. Please." _

I studied my son for a few minutes. He was sincere, I was sure of that. Edward was not lying to me. Feeding just the few times I had gotten him out in the last two weeks had him thinking clearer and he was less easily distracted, almost back to the Edward I had known these 80 years . . . well, other than the obvious pain he was feeling without Bella.

"_Come with me, Edward. Let's go find some dinner! I think we can talk the rest of the family into coming as well!"_

I was right and not only Carlisle, but Alice and Jasper and Emmet and Rosalie headed for the woods with us.

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe it! Though Jake was furious with me, Dale and his pit crew chief were ecstatic . . . something about riding better than any of them . . . but they couldn't be talking about me. I could not even walk on level ground without tripping over my feet! This was insane!

Ha! I laughed at the very idea of me racing! They must have been just kidding me, but at least I didn't get Jake fired. I thought I was in real trouble when they all came barreling down the track towards me. I braced myself for their wrath and screams only to be met by yells of excitement and congratulations, Dale actually lifting me up by my waist and spinning me around! I wasn't dreaming. Dale actually wanted me to ride the number one bike at our next race . . . Phoenix.

Phoenix.

That held so many memories for me, both good and bad. Overwhelmingly good though, surprisingly enough! I had spent most of my life in Phoenix, only moving to Forks a couple of years ago to live with my dad. Mom lived in a small house on the edge of the desert that I had grown to love. I was a sun worshipper, that's for sure. Though you would never know it from my pale, alabaster skin, I adored to spend hours drinking in the suns rays and the heat!

Though I had spent 18 years there full of memories and adventures, my few days there with 'him' were where my mind went. 'He' had come for me, 'he' had saved me. I had opened my eyes from the floor of the ballet studio where the crazed vampire had thrown me to see my angel there to rescue me.

My angel.

I truly thought 'he' was mine back then. A year ago . . . just a year had seen me loose everything. 'He' was gone. 'He' said he didn't love me, that I wasn't meant to be in 'his' world. 'He' didn't want me and left without me that horrible day in the woods.

I shook my head to clear it, realizing that I was in Phoenix again for a reason. I had a race to win, and racing was dangerous. I would get to see 'him'. Every time I got on that bike and roared down the track risking my life I would see and hear 'him' saying, _"stop, don't do this. You promised"_, and it would be worth it. It would be enough, it had to be . . . it was all I had.

My first ride down the track in Louisiana had been a wild hair on my part, a desperate attempt to see 'him' again. Martin had sent me to get the bike from the trailer and bring it into the shop for him to work on, neither he nor I knew I would end up taking it for a fast ride down the drag strip! It was a last minute decision just to do something to see 'him'. The race they had me compete in the next day had gotten me my vision as well, and it had gotten them the trophy. We were all pleased, but for very different reasons.

The guys had been teaching me all month how to ride, how to feel the bike, judge the gear shifts, square the weight. I would never describe what I was feeling as confidence, but I was excited to race the bike because of the visions I had. They knew nothing of this, of course, Dale and Jake. They would never have let me on the bike if they knew how crazy I really was! Jake was beside himself with worry over the idea anyway, even though he bragged on my mad skills as a rider because he was the one who had taught me back on the trails and beach in La Push.

The morning of the race flowed smoothly, everything clicking into order as Marvin and Jake prepared the bike in the garage. I flashed my pass as I went to join them. Security was tight here at the track, something about the guard having seen some girl in the restricted area last evening after we all left, and some equipment missing. It was immaterial to me, just an annoyance like all the other events happening around me that didn't involve 'him'. Jake was the exception to this. Jake was my lifeline, my best friend. The hole in my chest didn;t seem to burn as badly and I seemed less empty when I was with him, which is why I sought him out this morning.

_"You ready for this, Bells?",_ Jake asked as he starred at me.

"_Ready as ever. All good, right!"_

"_Alright then, if you're sure. I have confidence in you, Bells, you can do this! You are amazing, chica!"_, Jake said as he bent and kissed my head. _ "Your leathers are in the dressing room waiting on you. Time to suit up! I'll be on the track with the bike waiting for ya!"_

I won!

I won EVERY race!

EVERY RACE!

More important to me, I saw 'him' several times before I hit the quarter mile, every race.

As I sat atop Jakes' shoulders headed into the winners circle for the finale of the event, I was as happy as I had been since 'he' left. Maybe I could do this.

**Emmett POV**

April had come and gone, and May was halfway over. Nothing. We had no more idea of where Bella was now than we had when we first arrived back here to Forks. Edward had been true to his word, hunting at least once a week, and had returned to some shadow at least of his former self. His mind was once again sharp. When we were not actively involved in something to do with Bella, we would distract ourselves and alleviate some tension by playing video games, at lest the guys. We even got Edward to play a time or two!

"_Dude, I so creamed you in Call of Duty!"_

"_You so lost at Grand Theft Auto! I know you're still embarrassed over that showing!"_, Jasper chided, '_I can FEEL your emotions, remember! No use lying about it!"_ Alice chuckled and leaned in to kiss my temple!

"_Fine!"_ I said, turning off the video on the TV, the news flashing on in the background. As I hurled one of the remotes at Jasper, I heard the anchor on TV talking about the Screaming Eagle Harley Drag Races that had been held in Phoenix. They showed some clips of the little girl we had seen winning the race. She was apparently something of a mystery, as she would only allow them to recognize her as Rider#1.

"_Guys, listen to this, that little girl is really tearing up the tracks! She is the favorite to win in Atlanta the beginning of next month! Hey, that track is less than 2 hours from the house in Highlands! Why don't we all go and see the race and check in on Carlisle and Esme!_"

"_I'm not leaving till Bella is found, Emmett"_, Edward said with a frown.

"_I'm not suggesting we quit anything, Edward, just change the scenery around us while we continue to search and we could move some vehicles to Highlands while we are at it. When we do find her, we won't be living here, right? We will need things to be in Highlands!"_

"_He's right! I can monitor our Internet contacts and tracking devices from wherever we are, and I believe Rose can do the same with the credit card and licensing checks, right Rose?"_

"_As long as I have Internet, I'm good!"_, responded Rose as she flipped through her magazine, one leg thrown haphazardly over the arm of the recliner she occupied.

Alice went blank for a moment - Jasper scooted closer to her and gently rubbed circles on her back to sooth her as she took in the vision she was having. She abruptly focused on Edward. _"I still can't see her, but I see something. Something vague and in leather sitting on someones shoulders, its fuzzy and I don't understand it. There seems to be a lot of screaming and yelling, like there is a crowd there but it's so foggy I can't tell!" _

"_That's good news, Alice!_", Edward had a small spark in his eye for the first time since last fall, _"This is the first time you even thought you caught a glimmer of Bella in the three months we had been here, other than seeing that she would not be here when I first arrived!"_

"_It's settled then, we go to the race!"_, I exclaimed as I jumped to my feet!

"_What, no, hold on . . . ",_ Edward stammered.

"_He's right Edward"_, Alice insisted,_ "whatever I am seeing, it could be at a race, just as easily as anywhere else. We should go. We can get a couple of the cars across country and visit mom and dad at the same time!"_

"_Road Trip!"_, yelled Emmett.

"_No way in hell I am riding in a car across country, stopping to see the small town sights - Worlds Largest Ball Of Twine in Nebraska - I don't think so!", Rose scoffed disgustedly, "I'll fly down and meet you guys the morning of the race. It should take you, what, three days to drive it if you stop and hunt?"_

"_Yes! Stop and hunt! Grizzlies in the Rockies in Colorado are still in bad moods from hibernating! Prime hunting time!"_

I almost growled with enthusiasm as everyone laughed at me, Alice going so far as to fall off the sofa and roll across the living room floor cackling and holding her stomach! Of her eyes could water, they would have been as hard as she was laughing!

**APOV**

We decided that Jasper and I would take my Porsche while Emmett and Edward would drive Edward's Volvo. Edward was reluctant to go in the first place, but the idea of being in a car for three days smelling Bellas' lingering scent made the idea bearable for him. Things that reminded him of her didn't drop him to his knees now like they did when he was trying to stay away from her, they only strengthened his resolve to find her and seemed to make him miss her even more.

I kept telling him of my feeling that this would be really important for us to do, though I did not know why! What I told no one and hid from Edward was the intensity of feeling I got from the vision. It seemed as though it was a matter of life and death, that Bella was in danger of some sort. God, I wish we knew where she was so that we could go to her!

I went to see Charlie again just before we left to see if he had heard anything at all from her.

"_She called,"_ Alice. When Charlie said that, I screamed mentally for Edward to stay in the car out front. I had heard him nearly rip the handle off the door as he first heard Charlie's news. I knew he was listening, but his presence would not get Charlie talking.

"_She left a voice message, just saying that she was alright and that she needed to be there for Jacob, and that she was sorry if she was worrying me."_

"_I told that Jenks fella, the private eye that you hired, this morning when he called. He wanted a copy of the message and I just got back from having two copies made. I thought you would want one"_, he said as he handed me the small tape off the kitchen table._ "I gave him permission to access my phone records, Alice, I hope it helps."_

"_I hope so too, Charlie,_ " I said as I took the small tape and turned to walk toward the front door.

"_Alice,"_

"Yes", I said and turned to face him.

"_I want you to understand how much I appreciate the lengths you are going to to help find her. I can only imagine, that fella Jenks said he had three of his men full time on only this case only. That must be costing you some big bucks"_, he scuffed his shoe on the floor and with his hands in his pockets looked up and me and said, _"I have to ask, is this your doings, or . . . Edwards?"_

"_If you're asking who is footing the bill, Charlie, that would be Edward",_ Charlie's face started to turn red and he looked as though he was going to protest but I continued, _"but it doesn't matter. If he wasn't, the rest of us would, and we are all - even Carlisle and Esme - actively involved in the search! This isn't about money, Charlie, and it isn't about stepping on toes or pride, and if you feel that we have done something to offend you, I'm sorry. We just have to find her. Edward will not survive without her, much like she was not surviving without him, Charlie. You know I'm right - deep down, you know it. You've seen it."_

"_I guess that's so. They are just so young, Alice, too young to be this serious! He's the one that did this to her, Alice. He left her! Why the hell did he leave her if he loves her?"_

"_That's a question you will have to ask him, Charlie. We are headed off for a few days to track down a lead in Georgia, but we will let you know if we find anything. Here is my number, I would appreciate knowing if you hear anything from her, too! Thank you for the tape",_ I said over my shoulder as I headed out the door.

Edward was about break the steering wheel, he was gripping it so hard, his eyes starring at the R8 still sitting in the driveway! I said nothing, but handed him the tape. He held it as if it was gold, and I knew he and Emmett would be hearing it a lot on the way to Georgia!

All the goodbyes were said to Rose. Her flight didn't leave for 2 days and I think she was looking forward to a little down time with peace and quiet while we were all gone. She had serviced and tuned all the vehicles, including her BMW that would be the only car remaining at the house for the time being.

The trip was uneventful, Emmett could not have entertained us more as he took down three grizzlies in one night of hunting, playing with each and trying to rile them up! It was hysterical for Jasper and I to watch! Edward even managed two mountain lions which, along with Bellas voice on the tape, put him in the best mood we had seen this year! We were all encouraged! Bella was alive, she had called just days before!

Using the phone records from Charlie's, we had tracked down the pay phone that Bella had used to call. We stopped at the rest area in Georgia that the call had been made from. It was a lone phone booth with no security hired to watch the rest area, and no one to have sen her make the call. Edward spent several hours in the phone booth and the surrounding area, tracking exactly where she had gotten out of a vehicle and where she had gone. She had gotten water at the fountain just outside the ladies rest room and been in the rest room s well as the telephone booth. To be in this rest area, she was headed East into Atlanta. I kept getting sparks, glimmers of things, and I hoped it was that our proximity to her had increased, allowing the strength of my visions to grow. A small glint of hope sometimes flashed across Edwards face, but only briefly. We all hoped.

"_Rosie!"_, Emmett yelled as he grabbed his wife by the waist and swung her around.

"_Put me down you big oaf!_ "

Rose indignantly snarled at him, as only Rose could. A smile crossed her face in spite of herself. Her flight had been on time and she hopped into the back seat of the Volvo, as did Emmett, when we met her plane at the airport.

"_Race Time!_", shouted Emmett! He was really, genuinely psyched up about seeing this race. Apparently he and Rose were quite taken with the little girl that was fast becoming famous in racing circuits.

I was on cloud nine from having Bella's voice in my ear from the tape and having smelled her at the rest area. She had been there not a week ago and it was all I could do to not get my hopes up.

I put on a good face as we entered the track, my siblings looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the race. Carlisle had an emergency at the hospital and would not be coming down, but we would see him tomorrow at the Highlands house, and mom. God, I loved that woman. She had pulled me out of the state I was in the meadow and convinced me that there was hope, that I should fight. She had cared for me and forced food down my throat and the promise that I would hunt, as only a mother could. I needed to be a better son to her and I would make a point of it in the future. The future, I was actually beginning to think of a future for me. My hopes of finding Bella alive had grown and I only hoped she had not moved on and no longer wanted me. It would be fair, of course, but I hoped she still felt about me the way I felt about her. I know she loved me before I left.

I appeared to watch the races, clapped and yelled in all the appropriate spots, and smiled for my siblings. They deserved a fun day - they deserved so much more. More from me and I needed to give it to them. Alice smiled at me knowing I was a fake but thinking me for it anyway!

I kept getting whiffs of what smelled vaguely like Bella, I couldn't be certain if it was my mind playing tricks and remembering vividly the smell from the rest area or if I was inventing it - but it was driving me mad. I just couldn't trust my instincts, not feeding for so long at times had left me unsure as to what was real and what was just imagined.

The girl they had come to see had won every race and the last race was just about to start,

"_Emmett, just NO_!", Rosalie said as she smacked his shoulder, _"You are so not getting a bike like that!"_

"_But Rosie", Emmett pleaded, " I'm indestructible, remember, and the top fueling nitrous oxide makes it go super fast! Back me up here, Edward!"_

Edward looked over at him with a smirk and said, _"You are kidding yourself if you think there is ever a chance she will let you have one!_", as he tapped his temple with a knowing look!

"_Oh man!"_, exclaimed Emmett, realizing Edward would have read her mind and seen that there was no chance she would give in!

Stopping on the back lot, just at the end of the drag strip to chat, Edward admitted it had been a good trip so far, "_Thanks, guys, for dragging me out. I'm happy to spend some time with all of you, I know I have been difficult.I appreciate you being there for me and helping me find her more than you know . . . really, thanks!"_

I kissed him on the cheek, my arm around him and said,_ "It's alright brother, we love you!" _

His knees seemed to give way as strong emotions took over. As I grabbed him around the waist to help support him, our attention turned to the track. A mass of helmet, leather, steel and rubber tumbled past to the end of the track. It was just one jumbled mess, the result of high speed gone terribly wrong. As the mass bounced off the fencing and came to rest on the dirt, pieces still rolling away and clattering to a halt, a familiar smell hit us. The smell of the human at the bottom of all the disruption my family had endured the last year. She had to be close, the smell was overpowering - then it hit, the smell of blood, fresh blood.

"_Bella! Oh God, she is in the wreck!", _I yelled, but Edward was already gone, flying back to the track. _"Stop him! Her Blood!"_

All four of us raced to catch him, knowing that her blood "sang" to him, that he could barely resist killing her when she was just in a room with him. We happened to be somewhat hidden behind a short wall when we caught her scent just after we heard the crash. Edward had always been faster than any of us and he was driven past all limits. This was Bella we were talking about. Her safety was at the forefront of our thoughts but, with her blood flowing freely, we feared not only for her safety, but that he would expose us all in front of thousands of people at the racetrack by draining her in front of them!

The bike seemed to be moving again, it hurled up and away from the body on the ground. We reached her less than 30 seconds behind him, but he was already kneeling over her. When I saw him look up at me with blood on his lips, my heart sank! Oh God! Were we too late!

I screamed, my hands flying to cover my face. He knelt with his body hovering over the small broken form, his hands pressing her to the ground. His arms, his face . . . Edward was covered in blood . . . her blood. He raised his face away from her to look at me, eyes black, menacing, wilder than I had ever seen and blood covering his lips.

"_Edward, what have you done!"_

_~oooOooo~_

**Authors Note:** I am not getting alot of response to this story, if you want me to continue, please let me know in a review!_  
_


	10. Chapter 10  Ambulance

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 10 Ambulance**

**APOV**

"_Edward, what have you done!"_

"_Alice, give me your belt, quickly,_" he yelled. It was then I noticed that he wasn't pressing her to the ground to immobilize her while he fed, he was squeezing her upper arm in one hand while an applying pressure to her thigh with the other to control the bleeding from her injuries. I yanked off my belt and applied the tourniquet to her upper leg, the bone showing thru her leathers. Edward used his belt then to stop the bleeding just below her shoulder.

Blood, so much blood . . .

I had to move away, to gain distance from the wreck, never taking my eyes off her. Edward worked at vampire speed. The emergency medical personnel had not even arrived at the scene, though they were screeching towards the wreck at breakneck speed, sirens blaring. He was amazing. Meticulously going over her body to assess her condition, he had stopped the obvious bleeding before anyone had even gotten close to her. Blood was still coming slowly from her mouth and she was unconscious. I noticed the smears of blood covering Edwards mouth and jaw matched the smears on her face and lips.

How was he doing it!

Suddenly, there was an explosion and the bike Edward had tossed off of her burst into flames. She would still have been under it had it not been for him, the crew had not yet reached her.

I saw a tall dark skinned boy approaching, well out in front of the others. Jacob. He was frantic, he was terrified, he was irate. As he approached, luckily he realized what was happening as I did. He knelt beside her and watched the skill at which Edward tended to her and monitored her condition. When the emergency medical personnel arrived with the stretcher, Edward was barking orders for IV drips and filling them in on her pulse and pressure and getting a tube down her throat to help her breath. In no time flat, they were in the ambulance and gone, Edward and Jacob both riding with her.

I exchanged stunned glances with my siblings. Edwards two medical degrees had been put to good use, but we were still stunned, in awe and disbelief that he paid no attention to the blood.

"_He had no blood lust at all," _Jasper quietly stated,_ " just intense concentration on tending to her mingled with overwhelming love. He is unbelievable, he REALLY loves that girl, I have never felt anything like it. He was completely whole again the minute he was with her." _

"_I know," _said Alice._ "I know."_

**Jacob POV**

I watched with horror as the front tire left the ground and the bike was flung into the air, the bar in back giving way and allowing the wheelie to continue and the bike to flip backwards and upside down on top of her at 100 plus miles an hour. She and the bike continued to bounce and slide for some distance, coming to rest on the side of the track with what looked like the remains of the bike on top of her. I ran, full tilt, towards her even as the wreck had started to happen. I was running while watching it occur. No sooner than the tangled mass of bike and Bella had come to a rest on the track, the bike was moving again. It appeared to have been thrown away from her, and a guy was hovering over her body there on the track.

It was him, Cullen. What the hell? I thought I saw the other Cullens there as well but as I got closer, they were behind the fence, looking on as Edward seemed to be tending to her. He already had a tourniquet around her arm and leg and was keeping her airway clear of blood so that she could breath. He came out of nowhere and I had no idea how he had accomplished all of the emergency first aid before I had even gotten to her.

"_Jacob, don't try to move her! "_, he warned between breaths, her broken ribs have punctured a lung and her leg is a compound fracture! I knelt there, unable to do anything.

He was covered in blood, even his lips as he pushed air into her body. As the medical personnel arrived, he gave them her pulse and blood pressure and started barking orders for her IV and medication. They must have agreed with him, cause they did exactly as he said, and in no time at all we were all in the ambulance in route to the hospital.

As she was being lifted out of the ambulance, one of the medics patted Edward on the back and said, _"Where did you get your training, that was amazing. She would have bled out on the track before we ever got to her. You saved her life."_

He paid no attention, too focused on Bella. They rushed her past the double doors and he and I were left starring at each other.

"_I'll just go wash up",_ he said as he glared at his bloodstained hands. "_Right, I'll get the paperwork"_, I said. Her father had to be called, I knew that. She was not conscious and the next of kin would have to give permission to operate. I slowly dialed the phone that was handed to me, Charlie would still be at the police station.

"_Charlie, yea, It's Jacob. There has been an accident . . ." _

One of the nurses took the phone from my hand and guided me to the waiting room. There was nothing to do but wait. Edward emerged from cleaning himself up and it had helped a little. His undershirt had a few places where blood had soaked thru, but the outer shirt was gone and his arms and face had been washed. He sat down a few seats away to wait. We said nothing. His siblings arrived shortly after that and just sat quietly in the chairs surrounding him. A calm seemed to fall over the room and we waited.

**Charlie POV**

I couldn't believe it when I got the call. It was Jacob. Before I could react to hearing his voice he had told me that there had been an accident The nurse that took over the conversation told me that Bella needed surgery, and I waited to speak to the doctor, all the while dialing the airlines number on the other phone. There was no immediate flight to Atlanta, I would have to wait a few hours, but I lost no time in calling Sue.

Sue Clearwater had become a fixture around my house since Bella and Jacob had left the day of Billy's funeral. I guess really, I had become a fixture around her house as well. Having lost Harry a few months before, I guess we both propped each other up. When she offered to come with me, I couldn't say no.

I arrived as soon as it was humanly possible, but it still took almost 14 hours. I had driven straight to the airport in Seattle and gotten the first flight to Atlanta, but it was an agonizingly slow process. The hospital was an hour North of Atlanta. When I entered the hospital they directed me to the surgical waiting area.

Carlisle met me at the door to the waiting room. I suppose it was a good thing he did. I saw the room filled with the entire Cullen family, including 'HIM' and Jacob was walking towards me. Before I could react, Carlisle had an arm around my shoulder and was walking me down the hall, telling me what her injuries were and bringing me up to date on what was happening. I was in shock.

It was bad, real bad. They did not know if she would make it.

Esme sat with me in the waiting room, barely making it to a chair before my legs gave out. Bella had been in surgery for hours. Carlisle apparently had clearance to go to the viewing room, overlooking the surgical floor and he kept us updated as he could. Edward stood in the hall outside the surgical unit as close as he was allowed to go, and seemed to be concentrating on something.

My attention turned to Jacob.

"_How about explaining to me just what the hell you were thinking running off like that, and what the hell is my daughter doing RACING a motorcycle?"_

"_She insisted on coming with me, Charlie. After the funeral, after we buried my dad, I just couldn't stay there. I had to get away, I just had to leave and get some distance from all of it. It took me back to the accident when my mom died and I just couldn't handle realizing they were both gone."_

"_Son, you should have come to me", _ I said as I put my hand on his shoulder. Jacob sat beside me in the row of seats lining the walls of the ICU surgical waiting area.

"_I could have been there for you, we all would have,"_ I said as Sue came to sit on Jacob's other side.

"_But, Jacob, why the hell was Bella riding a motorcycle?"_, I asked again.

"_When we left, we rode to Seattle. We saw a billboard with Dale's picture on it. You remember Dale?"_

"_I remember him"_, Sue said, _"Nice young man, left a few years ago to start his own business."_

"_Yea, the guy that taught me to fix cars and bikes. Anyway, he has a racing crew and he gave me and Bella jobs with his company."_

"_Jacob, who would hire Bella to ride a bike?"_

"_No, no, Charlie. She was hired to run the front office, I was the mechanic. Neither of us were supposed to race the bikes."_

"_**RACE!**__ RACE the motorcycle, Jacob?"_, I virtually yelled in his face, my face reddening.

"_I thought you knew. Bella was injured when the bike she was racing flipped a wheelie and landed on her at the end of the track."_

I couldn't see straight, I couldn't breath. I sat for a long second before I rose and paced to the window, looking out at nothing. I just couldn't process what I was being told. Bella. MY Bella, RACING motorcycles? What the hell? My daughter was so clumsy that I had taken care to wrap her in a nearly indestructible truck. I even put snow chains on the tires at the least hint of snow or ice to lessen her chances of an accident, and here she was RACING a motorcycle! I ran my fingers through my hair and returned to my seat. I just starred at Jacob.

"_Tell me again EXACTLY what happened',_ I managed to say calmly and quietly, but with enough malice that I heard the intake of air from Jacob.

"_Bella, without permission, rode the bike down the drag strip in Louisiana at the race about 8 weeks ago. She did it so well, Dale let her ride in the last race that day and she won it. She won all the races at the meet in Phoenix, Charlie."_

I just starred at him. _"WHAT HAPPENED TODAY, Jacob!"_ I was becoming angrier.

"_Bella had won all the races today. In the last race of the day, Bella rode a Harley Davidson nitrous oxide powered drag bike down the quarter mile track. Near the end of the track, the front wheel came up off the ground and the motorcycle flipped backwards on top of her. She was doing better than a hundred and fifty miles an hour, Charlie. I was running down the track towards the wreck before the bike had even stopped moving and found Edward beside her. He had moved the bike off of her and administered first aid, stopping the bleeding before I even got to her. Before anyone got to her. Charlie, the bike burst into flames before the medics arrived. He saved her life. The ambulance arrived, and he and I rode with her to come here to the hospital. That's exactly what happened."_

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle, Edward and the surgeon who had apparently just finished with my daughter walking towards the waiting room. I stood to address them. He introduced himself and told me how bad her injuries were. They had removed her spleen, inflated the lung that the multiple broken ribs had punctured, set the compound fracture in her left leg, and repaired some arterial lacerations. He looked to Edward, noticing what looked like blood stained over the front of his t shirt and asked, _"Were you the first responder on the scene at the accident?"_

Edward shook his head yes. Doctor Riley patted him on the shoulder, "_Excellent work, she would never have made it this far if it had not been for your aid so quickly. Where were you trained?"_

Carlisle quickly interjected, "_I'm afraid it is a hazard of being a surgeons son, all my children are well versed in emergency first aid." _

"_Well, you should be proud of him. He saved her life, I mean, he got her to this point. Now we have to just wait and see. I'm afraid her injuries are critical. She has less than a 50/50 chance at this point, if she survives the night", _said Doctor Riley "_ I'll keep you posted and let you know when she is out of recovery and you can see her, one or two at a time in the intensive care unit. Should be about an hour from now." _

I just stared at him as he walked away and returned to my seat in the waiting room.

I sat in my seat, thinking to myself. I guess I did owe the boy thanks for this one. Seems he was on the spot at just the right time. Maybe he is on the up and up. I could have misjudged him, I suppose . . . and she was really happy before he left town. He seemed sincere enough when he had first come to my door just after she had left, the car he had brought for her was still in my driveway. Alice had said he they were all searching for her and they had even gone to the phone booth in Georgia that Bella had called me from after the private eye that he had hired traced where the call had come from.

An hour passed slower than the previous year had. Carlisle came out to get me and we walked towards her room, passing Edward who was standing where he had been the entire time, right by the door to the ICU.

I had no idea what to expect. I had been in hospitals before, of course, but rarely in the intensive care unit. There were no actual 'rooms' here, just glassed off sections of beds and equipment in full view of the nursing station. I almost dropped to my knees when I saw all the tubes running in and out of my frail little daughter. There was a bag of red liquid that seemed to be draining from a tube that went directly into her chest. Her mouth had a large tube taped in place that I guessed went to her lungs, a machine appeared to be breathing for her. The monitor showing her heartbeats was registering only 60 beats per minute, and even I knew that was low. I reached out a finger and stroked her hand. She felt so cold, and she was an ere grey color. I was vaguely award of Carlisle leaving and Jacob coming in.

Jacob stood with his hands in his pockets, afraid to touch anything. He finally put a hand on my shoulder, bent and kissed her on the cheek, and left. She made no response whatsoever. He couldn't take seeing her like this. I guess I understood, after just having lost his father.

I was just about to leave, my fifteen minutes being up, when Edward came in. The boy had some nerve, I'll give him that. He paid absolutely no attention to me, I could have been invisible. He moved to stand by her bed, taking her hand in his and kissing her forehead lightly as he stroked her hair. I would have sworn he was reading her pulse and temperature with his lips and hands, but I had to be hallucinating. He held her hand as if she were the most fragile, precious china doll, and the look on his face as he stroked her hair. I remembered that look. It was the look on my face in the hospital as I looked at Renee when Bella was born. This boy was deeply in love with my daughter, a fool could see it. As he stroked her hair and whispered in her ear, I would swear that a glimmer of a smile turned up in the corners of her mouth. Her heart rate sped slightly on the monitor, which was good because they had said it was alarmingly low earlier.

I strangely felt as though I was intruding. I left them alone. I had intended to throw him out on his ear. I blamed him for all of this! She became so closed off when he left, so despondent, but when I saw him with her, I could say nothing to him. He obviously loved her and even while sedated in a coma she responded to him n a way she never responded to me or Jacob or anyone else. Ever. As I came out of her room, I spoke to Carlisle, _"I didn't realize it was like that between them." _

"_Neither did I,_" Carlisle told me, "_or I would never have made him move away. It almost killed him. Is it alright with you, then, for him to stay with her? The hospital has extended that to me as a professional courtesy, with your permission, and I think we would have to forcibly drag him away."_

"_I suppose so_," I said, _"I would have sworn she realized he was there. Maybe he is good for her, but whether he is or not, she seems to respond to him, even now. He may be the only chance we have at getting her to fight thru this."_

"_He may be the only one who can save her!"_


	11. Chapter 11 Promises

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 11 Promises**

**Carlisle POV**

The night passed slowly, Charlie and Jacob alternating every 2 hours for the 15 minutes of visitor time allowed in the ICU. As a physician, I was allowed to check on her at will but at this point, her condition was being monitored and it was Edward I was checking on. I watched him in disbelief.

I have walked this earth over three hundred and fifty years, and I had never seen anything to equal Edward.

He never left her. He stroked her hair, he wiped the fluids and blood coming from her road rash, he checked the amount of blood collecting in the drainage tube inserted into her lung thru the incision in her chest. His vampire nature was completely in check, he was not holding his breath but breathing in and out at regular intervals quite naturally. His only concern was her well being.

"_How are you doing it, son?"_, I asked as I put my arm around his shoulder.

"_Doing what, dad?"_

"_Controlling yourself. She is your singer, how are you managing to do this?"_, I wordlessly asked him, truly amazed at my son. He looked at me, eyes black and burning. He had not hunted since he had found mountain lions in the Rockies and I knew it.

"_I got over it."_

"_Edward, you're a vampire son, you got OVER IT? How is that even possible?_", I thought.

"_Dad, I thought I lost her", _he spoke softly to me,_ "I felt for months the pain of living without her. I would shy away from ANYTHING that could cause me that type of pain again. I could not possible hurt her."_

"_In our ninety something years together son, I have never been prouder of you than I am at this moment!", _I said with my hand on his shoulder and venom pooling in my eyes, _" I'll be outside."_

Days passed. Her condition remained critical. Charlie never spoke to Edward. Emmett threatened to "pull his vamp card" for being able to be around all that blood and not react. Jasper lifted moods and calmed whenever possible, and Esme, Rosalie and Alice tried desperately to comfort everyone, especially Renee and Charlie.

Bella had made it thru that first night after her surgery, being rushed back to the operating room once to stop some internal bleeding they had apparently missed. Edward had heard it, the tiny tear, the spraying of blood with every heartbeat. I had brought the blood pressure and other symptoms to Doctor Riley's attention to get him to open her back up. We couldn't just tell him we "heard" it after all. But I was able to convince him using parameters he would acknowledge.

It was tense in the waiting room during the second surgery. Edward would not budge from the door to the surgical suite until she had been moved to recovery. I knew why he was waiting there, of course. For all appearances he was nervous and anxious and concerned for her, and he was all those things. But what my immortal son was actually concentrating on was reading the minds of the surgeon and nurses tending to Bella, listening for any hint that he needed to act, any indication that a decision needed to be made. He was intently listening to her heart beat, now his lifeline. Any indication that that heartbeat was about to faultier and my son would have slaughtered the entire staff here in his efforts to get to her.

He would change her.

Then.

On the spot.

I knew he had made his decision, Alice had seen it. He would not loose her, and his mother and I and his siblings would make no effort to stop him. He needed her more than he needed blood. They would either both survive, or both die, there would be no in between and I would not loose my son. As many centuries as I had hid myself among humans and as hard as my family tried to manage the facade necessary to live among them, we were not human. Bella was Edwards mate, and we would not stop him from saving her, regardless of the consequences and the danger of our exposure. We would be there to do damage control and come up with a plausible cover story to manage the collateral damage that would ensue.

Charlie sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands wringing and clasping together, Sue by his side trying to comfort him and reassure him Bella was going to make it. We all desperately needed that reassurance.

Alice was unable to see. Too many decisions were still being made and there was a cloud around things to do with Bella, especially when Jacob was around her. Though she had visions of Bella here, in the hospital with Edward, the visions disappeared when Jacob was near her and we could not figure out why! Jasper and Alice had gone to shower and change, I had gotten everyone hotel rooms across the street for our stay. Appearances had to be kept up after all, and Charlie, Sue and Jacob actually needed a room as would Phil and Renee when they arrived.

Jacob had delayed heading for the race in Pennsylvania, electing to stay here with Bella.

Alice and Jasper arrived showing Renee and Phil the way to the waiting room where we were all gathered, and they had brought donuts and pastries.

After a few words with Charlie and introductions to Sue, he brought her over to speak with me, presumably about her medical condition.

"_Renee"_, I greeted her shaking her hand,

"_Dr. Cullen,"_ she said with a surprised look on her face. Apparently when Charlie had called her, he neglected to mention that we were all here at the hospital as well and she seemed surprised to see me.

"_Carlisle, please, and you haven't met my wife, Esme."_

Esme hugged Renee lightly as I turned and gestured to the rest of my family, _"And these are our children Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice."_

"_Carlisle, I certainly remember you from Bella's accident in Phoenix. Seems you are at the right place at the right time when my daughter needs you, thank you for that! How is she?"_

I explained her condition to Renee and what had been done so far, lung re inflated, spleen removed, internal injuries and bleeds repaired, compound fracture reduced and set, and that she had a machine breathing for her and was in a drug induced coma to allow her body to repair itself. I didn't know how much she really comprehended, but I walked with her into the ICU to see her daughter. She stopped at the door to her room, from the sight of her daughter lying there or from the surprise of seeing Edward with her, I didn't know.

**EPOV**

I had been with Bella for the last 24 hours, having been separated from her only during her surgeries and while she was in the recovery room. She had held her own during the night, the bleeder that had been missed during surgery had been repaired and she seemed to be progressing. I held her hand, constantly talking with her when no one else was there.

I told her I loved her. I told her of my search for her, how glad I was that I had found her, how much I missed her, and how sorry I was that I had ever lied to her. I told her how good she smelled, how soft she was, and how sweet her skin tasted when I kissed her lips. I told her she was good for me, that I was sorry I took away her right to choose, and that I would never do it again. I told her I wanted her in my world, that I would love her till the end of time. I told her I would change her myself whenever she wanted me to.

I heard Renee coming down the hallway with my father. Her thoughts were all over the place. When she entered the room and saw Bella, she froze - scared to death. She glared at me dumbfounded, not understanding why I was there. A thousand memories flipped through her mind in a moments time.

Charlie telling her about finding Bella in the woods where I had left her

Bella not eating, not talking

Discussions with Charlie about putting Bella on medications

Flying to Forks to bring Bella home with her to Jacksonville

Bella screaming and refusing to leave Forks

Nightmares, Bella had horrible nightmares every night

She walked to the bed to gingerly reach out and stroke Bellas hand, carefully avoiding all the wires and tubes running in and out of her daughter. She was crying as she leaned over and kissed her forehead and gently stroked her hair. I left to join Carlisle in the hallway to give her some semblance of privacy with her daughter.

We were discussing possible reasons for Bellas lack of progress in the last few hours when Jacobs thoughts virtually assaulted me as he made his way down the hall towards us. I tensed with rage having read his thoughts as he stood by us to deliver his news.

"_Dale called,_" Jacob shook his head and explained, _"Dale is the guy we have been working for that owns the race team. Anyway, they went over what was left of the bike after the wreck, and the bike was tampered with. Someone cut the metal reinforcement on the wheelie bar."_

"_I'm sorry Jacob, I don't understand what that means_", queried Carlisle.

"_It means it was deliberate. The bike is so powerful and the rear tire spins so fast, the front tire will rise up and flip the bike backwards from the intense power the rear tire is generating. Wheelie bars stick out behind the bike and stop that from happening, and someone CUT thru the bar, causing it to break. The bike was sabotaged!"_

"_Jacob, who would do that?"_, I asked.

"_That's what they are investigating. I know it's hard for you to believe, given how clumsy Bella is on two legs, but she is an amazing rider!"_

My mind flew thru all the bumps and bruises Bella always had and how many times I had caught her before she fell when we were walking to our meadow. She often bumped things and tripped at home and school. I could not imagine EVER letting her on a bicycle, much less a powerful motorcycle. RACING? Was he insane for allowing that, was she insane for doing it . . . or did she just not care, as I did, about living any longer. Jacob;s mind was clear. He truly believed she was a skilled rider and he was proud of her abilities. Was he insane?

Jacob continued, _"Anyway, she won all the races at the last meet in Phoenix, and she had won everything up till the last race day before yesterday. Any other team could be responsible for wanting her to be out of the race!"_

Jacobs mind told me that he was intent on getting to the bottom of this accident, and that there would be violence if he was the one to discover who had tampered with the bike. He had unwavering confidence in Bella's skill as a rider and he was certain, even before the facts had proved it, that it was not rider error that caused the crash. He was certain of something else, as well, he loved her. She had been living with him for 3 months. Living with him. Oh My God. I searched his mind further.

Friends . . . all she had allowed was friendship. I nearly staggered in relief. He had wanted more, his thoughts were very clear on that, but she wouldn't allow it. She had told him she was broken, that her heart didn't work right anymore. I wondered what that meant. She had nightmares every night and every night he was the one in bed with her to hold and comfort her. My thoughts alternated between murderous rage - the desire to tear him limb from limb for being in such intimate circumstances with her and gratitude that he was there to comfort her. In an instant, none of that mattered.

Bella's heart had stopped.

Carlisle and I bolted for her room. Renee stood by her bed in shock, unable to move and white as a sheet. Nurses instantly removed her from the room. We instantly assessed the monitors and began moving machinery to get it out of the way and removed her covers. Nurses and the on call arrived with a crash cart, telling me that I had to leave the room, but saying nothing to mCarlisle. I backed to a corner, out of the way and Carlisle seemed to put himself between their line of sight and me, effectively allowing them to forget my presence and turn their attention to Bella. The ventilator was still functioning, but her heart had stopped. They injected adrenalin directly into the muscle, and prepared the paddles to shock her. Dr, Riley arrived and took over, administering the first shock. Nothing. The monitor still flat lined. No heartbeat. _"Clear"_, He said again, and placed the paddles to her chest. Her body jarred upward, but there was still no heartbeat.

My mind raced. The moment I had dreaded most in life was here, and I had only seconds to react. Carlisles' mind screamed at me to wait, to at least give them a minute or two to try and restart her heart before I jumped in. It was change her, or let her die. I would never let her die.

I was sorry for what this would do to my family, that it would probably expose us, that I might have to kill innocent people who would get in my way in their honest effort to help her. It didn't matter, I would not loose her, and her heart had to pump the venom thru her body for the change to take effect. For her to become a vampire. I could not allow her heart to stop, for this to continue. I had to pump her heart myself with the strength of compressions only an immortal was capable of, and I had to take her blood and inject my venom. Now. Carlisle would not stop me. He would not try.

Carlisle backed up to stand at my side as though he was reading my mind. _"She'll need venom from both of us, just to be sure,_" his thoughts screamed to me. He was tormented with how to possibly render everyone in the room unconscious without killing them, and if we had the time to bother. The curtains were pulled, so passers by would not immediately see the carnage. He was there for me, supportive - he was going to help. His mind screamed at me again,

"_In 30 seconds, agreed?"_

I was tensed as though to spring, just as the monitor stopped beeping and her heart rhythm appeared on the screen. I starred at it - if I had a heart, it would have stopped.

"_Merciful God, thank you!"_, Carlisle's mind screamed. He had never killed a human but he stood shoulder to shoulder with me, and we would have saved Bella, regardless. I was truly blessed to have this man as my dad.

**Carlisle POV**

She improved after that, she was taken off the ventilator later in the week, and she was scheduled to be moved to a room on the step down unit later today. She still had not regained consciousness. Doctor Riley had thought it best to keep her in an induced coma to allow her to heal.

Charlie was becoming increasingly annoyed at Edwards constant presence. It was as though he saw her gaining strength and was beginning to feel she would recover and was having second thoughts about her seeing Edward. He viewed Edward as the cause of all of this and Edward, of course, read his thoughts and that fed the guilt he was already feeling for the things that had happened since he had left her.

Everyone had gathered in the waiting room this morning, the sedation had been discontinued last

evening, and Bella was in a private room. Well, suite actually. Edwards doing. He would have nothing less than the best they had to offer for her. The doctor was in with her and the anticipation of her waking up was palpable.

"_Stay calm"_, Alice had said to Edward. They were walking towards the door to her room just as Charlie came out. "_Edward"_, Charlie said. Edward visibly stiffened, already having read the thoughts Charlie was about to disclose. "_I'm not sure if it's a good idea for Bella to know you are here. I don't want her getting upset, I don't think it would be good for her. It nearly killed her when you left and it's bound to be hard for her to see you again!"_

Alice put a hand on Edwards chest as if to restrain him as he took a step towards Charlie, a murderous glare on his face. This was not going to go well. There was no way ANYONE would have been able to keep Edward away from her at this point. Edward would have slaughtered the entire floor if need be, and I knew it.

It was Jacob who spoke up. "_Charlie, I don't like him any more than you do . . . but she does. She loves him. She is alive right now because of him and I think she knows he is here. Somewhere deep down, she already knows he is here, Charlie. Let him in. Please, for her."_

Charlie's expression was that of a man being burned at the stake. He turned his stare from Jacob to Edward and said, _"If you hurt her, I swear I'll kill you myself. Do you understand?"._

Edward nodded, and slipped quietly into her room.


	12. Chapter 12  Relatives and reunions

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 12 Relatives & Reunions**

Edward slipped quietly into her room.

**BPOV**

I was having the best dream. Edward was holding my hand and stroking my hair and we were lying in our meadow in the sunshine. I felt his cool kisses on my cheek. He kept calling my name and asking me to open my eyes, but if I did that he would disappear! I did not want to wake from this dream, it seemed too real, but he just kept calling to me. "_What, what!_", I answered annoyed. I didn't want to leave my meadow and this voice just would not stop calling me!

"_Bella, love, open your eyes!", _the silky voice said again. It was trying to trick me, trying to lure me away from my meadow by imitating Edward's silky soft voice. I was not so easily fooled.

"_Go Away!", _I attempted to shout, the meadow starting to fade and my anger at whoever was ruining this for me, ruining my time in my meadow with Edward. I saw him so rarely anymore and I need him now.

"_Bella, please open your eyes, sweetheart!"_, the impostor spoke again. NO ONE was going to drag me away from my meadow with Edward. NO ONE.

"_GO AWAY! GO AWAY! __**GO AWAY**__!"_, I shouted.

My meadow was interrupted by what sounded like doors opening and voices arguing. It sounded like Jacob and my dad and I thrashed out at them, I needed them to go away and quit disturbing Edward and me in out meadow!

The voices stopped, but it was too late. My meadow was gone, Edward was gone! I began to sob, uncontrollably. I opened my eyes to see my father's face and Jacob standing beside him. There were bright lights everywhere and I seemed to be lying down. Realization dawned on me.

The crash.

I had popped an uncontrolled wheelie and the bike had come back on me. I remembered tumbling and crunching and the heat of the engine on me, then nothing, nothing but darkness and cold. The angel was with me at the wreck . . . I had felt it . . . something was pulling me towards it, forcing me to stay . . . and I wanted to stay, I wanted it so badly. I had fought against the blackness, for the angel. It seemed like it was Edward, I smelled him. I could hear him and taste him. It was so real. I could feel his cool lips on mine. I would stay for him, I would do anything for him!

My father kissed my forehead as Jacob held my hand. I sobbed uncontrollably. Finally I could bear it no longer and I cried out to him,_ "EDWARD!", _I screamed_, "EDWARD!_"

"_He's here, Bells, he's here"_, Jacob said to me. I looked at him like a cornered wild animal. I could not understand what he was saying. _"He's here, Bells, do you want me to get him for you?"_, Jacob asked.

"_Edward is here?"_, I asked.

I must have looked wild, they were doing all they could to calm me, a pained look on my father's face. _"Yes, he's here"_, Jacob affirmed.

"_GO GET HIM! Please, I NEED him!_", I screamed. "GET HIM NOW!"

My father nodded to Jacob, and Jake left the room quickly.

**EPOV**

I backed away from her slowly, never taking my eyes off of her. Charlie and Jacob rushed in, insisting that I leave. She was sobbing, screaming for me to go away. My heart was breaking. I left the room and walked slowly down the hallway to the hospital exit. Esme and Carlisle quickly followed me, their minds shouting to know what had happened. As we crossed the street to the hotel, I turned to them, venom streaming down my face.

"_She told me to go away. Screamed for me to go away"_, it was all I could say. I turned and continued to my room at the hotel - at least to Alice and Jasper's room where my things had been stored. Alice had purchased clothing for me and my cell phone and wallet were there. I just wanted the wallet. I just wanted to disappear, a flight to Italy, perhaps . . . I didn't know what to do. I knew I could never be far from her, even if she didn't want me anymore . . . if she no longer loved me. I could never bring myself leave her, and survive . . .

Alice was waiting in the room. _"Edward, wait!_ ", She demanded. _"I can't see clearly for some reason, but you need to just wait a few minutes, please don't leave yet!_", she begged.

"_What do you want from me, Alice?",_ I all but screamed at her_, "I have nothing left. These three weeks I have been on alert, not knowing if I was going to need to change her at any moment, sensing if she ever started to slip away. I would have changed her, Alice! I would have fucking changed her and she would NOT have wanted it! I could have made her life a living hell, FOREVER!_

_She doesn't want me!"_

I was shaking now, sitting on the edge of the bed running my hands thru my hair, tears streaming down my face. It was like this that Jacob found me as he burst into the room. I refused to even listen to his thoughts, I drowned out all their thoughts, all my family's thoughts of worry and not wanting to lose me, and disbelief that Bella really felt that way! I barely noticed when Jacob burst into the room and stood right in front of me.

"_Edward, she is asking to see you._", he said. It didn't register with me. He repeated himself, louder and more forcefully, "_Cullen! She sent me here to get you. Get back over there or do I have to force you !" _

I looked up at him in disbelief, his words didn't make since to me. She had just ordered me away, screamed for me to get out! His mind was racing and his thoughts backed up his words. I saw her in his mind, asking for me. No - demanding that he go and get me. I was off the bed and back at the door to her room before anyone realized what had happened, human speed be damned. She wanted me, whether it was to yell at me or order me out of her life or slap me, I had no idea. I didn't care. She wanted to see me and regardless of what happened, I would be near her at least one more time. It was worth it.

I hesitated at her door, bracing myself for what might happen. I stepped into the room and her eyes froze on me. _"Edward"_, she said. It was the faintest of whispers. Her father stood on the other side of her bed from me, helplessly looking on.

"_Edward, please!"_

Her eyes beckoned to me. I didn't have to be asked again. I crossed the room to her and sat at the edge of her bed, not knowing what to expect. I never in my life needed to be able to read someones' thoughts as badly as I needed to know what was going on in that silent mind of hers! She took my hand in hers and my heart melted. She didn't seem angry with me, yet . . . she seemed, she seemed happy. She seemed like she was overjoyed to see me. I timidly leaned forward and kissed her ever so softly on the forehead, my eyes never leaving hers. She locked her arm around my neck and grabbed onto my hair as she sobbed uncontrollably. _"You're here! It's really you! I thought you were here, but I was dreaming of our meadow and I didn't want to wake and loose the dream! Oh, Edward, you're really here!",_ she continued to cry.

"_Yes, love, I'm here. I love you, sweetheart. I'm right here."_

I spoke the words softly to her and kissed her lips. I heard the door softly shut behind me, as Charlie, convinced she wanted me in the room, gave us some privacy.

"_I thought I would never see you again, Edward, I missed you so much!"_

"_I'm so sorry about that, sweetheart. I'm so sorry I left you, sorry I lied to you._", I said.

"_Edward, I . . . "_

I cut her off with a finger pressed to her lips. "_Please let me say this, Bella. I'm so sorry I lied to you. I told you that I didn't love you and nothing could be further from the truth. I do love you, I have always loved you and I always will. I thought I was protecting you from my world, giving you the chance to have a normal, human life. I'm so very sorry. I made a choice for you that I had no right to make. Please, please forgive me. Please let me be a part of your life. Please don't ask me to leave you. You belong in my life, Bella, and I honestly don't know how to live without you sweetheart!"_

She looked at me thru those bottomless brown eyes and pulled me close to kiss me. My lips molded to her soft, warm lips so gently, then nuzzled her neck tracing kisses from the corner of her lips to her collar bone as she held me close.

"_Please Edward, please don't ever leave me again. Promise me. Promise! I have to know, somehow - I have to know that you won't leave me again, I could never survive - I wouldn't want to."_

I looked into the deep chocolate eyes that I loved more than life itself. They were pleading with me, begging me for some sign that I could be trusted to stay with her.

"_Marry me then. Isn't that the human way to commit and always know that I will be there?"_

"_Are you asking me?",_ she said shyly.

"_Yes, God help me this isn't the way I wanted to do it. I have fantasized about a romantic afternoon in our meadow and soft kisses, but yes Bella . . . Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honor of taking me as your husband and becoming my wife . . . Marry me "._

With no hesitation in her voice, she answered me.

"_yes"_

The look on her face was absolutely stunning. Her soft eyes burned with a fire that the tears flowing from them had no effect on. If she were able to, I knew that her arms would have been so tightly clutched around me they might have even hurt. I gently slipped my hand under her shoulder, trying to give her the feeling that I was holding her and cupped her face in the other. Slowly, without jarring her, I bent to kiss her lips. It was a short kiss, gentle, light. In spite of the burning smell of blood in the room, all I noticed was how soft her lips were how she still smelled of freesia and strawberries, how warm her breath was. Unwilling to leave her touch but wanting to continue, I reached into my pocket and produced the ring my father had given my mother. I gently slipped it onto the third finger of her left hand, kissing it once it was in place.

"_I have had this ring with me every minute of every day since I left you, thinking of you, clinging to it as a reminder of you and the promise of the life we could have had. Bella, I have always been only yours."_

"_Marry me then, here in this room - right now, Edward! In case . . . I want to know that I was yours and you were mine. I want to be Bella Cullen . . . "_

My mind raced. I will not loose her now. I would change her if need be. Yes, yes I would find a way. I would never deny her anything again. Anything.

"_Yes love, we'll be married today. I promise. You sleep, I'll make the arrangements."_

Her soft hand gently squeezed mine as my thumb traced circles on her knuckles. I could not look at her. I wanted her more than anything else in the world, but I wanted her because she loved me, not because she was afraid she was going to die. Never out of fear. After minutes or seconds that felt like hours, I lifted my gaze to meet hers. There was nothing but love in her eyes but I had to ask - "_Are you sure Bella?_"

"_I have never been surer of anything in my life Edward and I don't think its just me that wants this. I don't think you are giving me this because you don't think I am going to make it . . . I want you no matter what happens and I know you want this too. Edward, I love you and I know you love me."_

"_Bella - I won't loose you again. I won't ever be parted from you - and if something goes wrong and you start to slip away from me - I leaned in, my voice almost a whisper, meant for only her to hear - I will change you."_

I heard a sharp intake of breath, I thought, I couldn't be sure. She had drifted off to sleep, but I hoped she had heard me. I gently kissed her eyelids and left to make the arrangements that would join our lives as husband and wife.

As I came out of her room, Alice was waiting for me. She is jumping up and down and squealing with excitement despite the dire situation. Alice will be Alice, or perhaps she has seen something of the future that I don't know - maybe she knew that Bella would be alright . . . I hoped that was it.

"_Anyway, Alice. We're going to be married today, here. We can't do much, but I know you know the perfect touches to make it special for her. I'm calling Jenks to do the legalities and get the license and I'll find a justice of the peace and purchase wedding bands if you will pick them up for me. I can't leave her, Alice", I stated. _

I smiled at her as I dialed my phone and started to make this happen.

My dream.

Jacob ducked back in the room with Bella when I came out and I was sure she would want to be the one to tell him of our plans. Carlisle, Esme and the rest were in the waiting room with Renee and Charlie. Removing the phone from my ear, I slowly walked towards the waiting room and called to them -

"_I have an announcement to make to all of you. _

_I have asked Bella to marry me and she has said yes."_

- gasps-

Renee brought her hand to her mouth and moved toward Phil with her arm around him as though she needed his support to stand. Emmet and Jasper were beside me in the blink of an eye hugging me, patting me on the back, congratulating me, their smiles almost as big as the one plastered on my face. Even Rosalie kissed my cheek and said, "_Well done brother!_". Carlisle shook my hand and told me he wishes the circumstance was happier but congratulations. He already thought of her as his daughter. Esmes' arms surrounded me, unspoken words of love radiating from her.

Renee said nothing. Nothing at all. I thought she was in shock and I nod to Carlisle to check on her. He and Phil walked her back to the row of seats by the wall and she clung to Phils' hand as Carlisle held her other hand, he needed no instruments to measure her pulse and pressure. After all, vampire has some perks. I walked over to her and sat beside her taking her hand and looking her in the eye.

"_I really love her, Renee, and I will take care of her. She needs this right now. She needs something to hold onto and fight for!_". I looked into her eyes begging her to understand. _"I'm sure this isn't the wedding you had wanted her to have and I know it is out of place in these surroundings, but you can have another ceremony later. Anything you and she want and I won't ever complain about any of it!"_

She looked up at me and slowly spoke_, "You have always been who she wanted, Edward. I know that as well as you do. You two are meant for each other, two very old souls who belong together. I'm glad you are there for her."_

"_Thank you, Renee."_

I felt eyes burning into the back of my head. He looked on incredulous as he overheard my words to Renee. Charlie's thoughts shouted in my head. Fire. There was fire in Charlie's eyes as I stood to address him.

"_Charlie, could I speak to you for a minute, please in private_?", I asked politely.

I turned and headed to the patio and he followed. When he had passed thru the door and was outside with me, I turned to him. "_I know what you think of me Charlie, and right now I don't care. She wants this. She NEEDS this, and I am willing to get her anything and everything she wants, including giving her me. She wants to know I won't leave her again. She needs a concrete symbol of that to hold onto. She is fighting for her life Charlie, you know that. If this is what she wants I am giving it to her right now. Today. Please don't fight me on this. I want your cooperation, but she is conscious and consenting, we are both of age, and we are doing this regardless." _

"_How can you give her hope and then take it away_", he fired back, his body tense as though he wanted to deck me.

"_I am taking nothing away. I love her, Charlie"_, I calmly stated starring him directly in the eye.

He took a deep breath, asked me what time I planned to do this and walked off towards the parking lot.

We all assembled in her room. The justice of the peace had arrived half an hour early to discuss the ceremony and make sure the proper documents were in order. Alice had arrived with well, Alice is Alice. I was glad that I had arranged for a suite for Bella at the hospital. I was able to dress for the wedding without having to be far from Bella and with the french doors opened it would give room for people to observe our vows. The black suit and tie that Alice had purchased for me fit perfectly, of course, and the flowers she put into Bellas hair and by her bed were all shades of blue wildflowers allowing me the illusion of being in our meadow together.

The last rays of sun shone in the window as the officiate began - but this was not the ending, the twilight that came at the close of day. This was a beginning for us - and I could see the joy here above all the despair. She would survive one way or another, human or vampire, and we would be together for all time, as I knew now that we should be.

I adjusted her bed so that she was sitting up slightly, as she smiled at me and took my hand. Her eyes brightened and she seemed to show a new found strength. Her grip was firm and she was positively glowing. The blush in her cheek was stunning. She looked at me with all the love and strength of commitment that I had been a fool to downplay before.

"_You look amazing in that suit, Mr. Cullen", _she smiled shyly at me.

The foolish grin that overtook my face had gained a permanent home. It spread ear to ear and I leaned in to lightly kiss her lips.

"_Excuse me! No kissing! You are not to that part yet, brother!"_, chuckled Emmett.

The justice stepped closer to begin the ceremony. He offered a few words of hope and prayer then asked who gives this woman to be wed. I choked. I had wanted this to be so perfect for her - nothing needed to dull her happiness at this moment, and as I started to ask Phil to step forward, Charlie entered the room with Sue close behind.

"_Sorry I'm late. It took longer than I thought to find a suit."_

Bella was radiant. Charlie stepped up and took her hand, kissed it, and returned it to mine.

"_Take care of her, son. She is my everything"._

We continued without interruption, speaking the vows that had been handed down since the beginning of time. When we vowed for as long as we both shall live I sensed a shudder in the room. Bella never felt it, it was too subtle, but her condition was still critical and the humans in the room were beside themselves with worry. Alice smiled. She knew. She knew that either Bella would survive on her own or I would change her - the decision had been made in my mind and whatever vision it brought to her, she was bouncing up and down with happiness and excitement that could scarcely be contained.

We were man and wife. She was my wife. She looked up at me, gripping slightly to my hand, and said . . .

"_Come here, husband."_

With that I leaned in and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss but not chaste. It held all the love and longing and hope that was filling me. As her soft lips moved with mine, my tongue traced hers asking for entry. Her eyes opened and she starred directly into my eyes - never had I done this before. I repeated the act, my tongue gently sliding in between her now parted lips. It was different now - I was different. Being with her didn't scare me as I knew I would not, could not ever hurt her. We kissed gently, but more intimately than ever before. I heard the shuffling of our family in the room, made uneasy by the duration of our embrace and I moved to pull away from her, if only far enough to gaze at her glowing face.

There were congratulations all round, but I only saw her. She drifted to sleep shortly, having only the strength to sign the marriage certificate, hold Jacobs hand for a moment, and kiss me one more time before falling fast asleep, exhaustion taking over.


	13. Chapter 13 Making Ourselves at Home

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 13 Making Ourselves at Home**

**EPOV**

Bella grew in strength daily, the wires and tubes removed one by one. She seemed to gain strength after the ceremony. She complained about not being allowed to walk to the bathroom alone and she complained about the fact that I had insisted on a suite for her - only the best for Bella Cullen. Bella Cullen - I just liked saying it almost as much as I enjoyed hearing it. From the expression on her face each time she heard it, she felt exactly as I did.

Time came for her to leave the hospital. There had been a great deal of discussion as to where exactly she would be going when she left there. Charlie, of course, wanted her home with him and conceded that, since we were married, I could come and stay there as well. I realized that that admission was a huge step for him, but she was my wife and we were going to start our lives together as they should be, not in her childhood bedroom with her father across the hall.

"_So,_" Charlie said as he walked into Bellas hospital room, _"they are releasing you! I am so happy you are better! Renee has volunteered to come back to Forks with us and help take care of you."_

I turned to see a terrified look cross Bellas face, her entire body sat rigid beside me on her bed almost as if she were bracing for a shock. She started to speak to me, but I held one finger to her lips to quiet her while I turned my attention back to Charlie.

"_Edward, really, this marriage thing was endearing and we are all thankful that you were here to encourage her to live, but my daughter needs to be home with her family where she is loved and will be cared for."_

"_You believe that my being here was out of guilt, that the wedding was just a ruse."_ My anger grew, it was becoming hard to control, so I spoke even softer, _"You believe that it was all fake, that I did it just to fulfill her dying wish and possible give her hope and strength to continue to fight."_

Charlie looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"_Yes, of course." _ Those were the words that came from his lips. He actually said it.

"_Edward, my daughter needs her family and to be at home!"_

He looked almost smug, like he was doing me a favor, relieving me of the responsibility of tending to her for the coming months. Did he think the wedding was fake? Was he serious that he thought I would step away if given the chance, did he actually believe that the wedding had been faked, that it wasn't even legal?

I looked at Bella - she looked as though she hadn't taken a single breath since he started.

"_Breath. Bella_". I reminded her, but her tension was palpable. It surprised me. I guess I had assumed she believed that I would never leave her, I had married her, I had told her I loved her, that I had always loved her and would always love her. She knew she was my only mate. Ever. Yet she tensed . . . Waiting . . . It broke my heart. I would spend an eternity regaining her trust, if that is what it took!

"_I realize that, Charlie, and that is exactly where she will be."_

I stood and turned to her. She froze. I offered my hand and gently helped her off the side of the bed and to the waiting wheelchair. She never took her eyes off of me. I felt her body as it trembled, eyes pooling to tear. She thought I was saying goodbye. As if there was any force under heaven or earth that could separate me from this beautiful creature. I would spend forever worshiping her and thanking God in heaven that she had allowed me back into her life.

"_I appreciate the offer, Charlie, but she is my wife and she will be recuperating in our home with me. I love her and I will NEVER be parted from her again._

He looked at me with a murderous glare, but I continued, "_Bella and I will be moving to Highlands, North Carolina, to join my family. We have a home there waiting for us."_

The look on Charlie's face matched the thoughts in his mind. He was stunned, absolutely stunned. He had no words, and had lost the ability to speak or move.

**BPOV**

Edward stepped behind my chair and rolled me past my father and into the hospital corridor. I had been so afraid when Charlie had first come into the room this morning. He had everything planned, arrangements made and seemed so sure of himself, so certain that I would be leaving with him - going back to Forks with my mom there while I recovered my strength and healed from the effects of the wreck. It had not apparently occurred to him that it would be any other way. Edward, to him, would be relieved to know he no longer had the responsibility of caring for me, however grateful he was to him for the things he had done for me the last few weeks and the devotion he had shown me. Charlie knew that it was Edward that had pulled me through this accident. It was Edward that had given me something worth fighting against the overwhelming odds for . . . thru he pain. Charlie was grateful to Edward, in some respects, though he did not like him. He was grateful to him for being there for me, for staying throughout my recovery, for staging a marriage ceremony to fulfill what might have been his daughters dying wish. But the pretense was over, it was time to go home. Charlie had assumed all along that the wedding was fake - a farce, and certainly not legal in any way.

Charlie was wrong.

Edward had dotted every I and crossed every t. It was air tight and absolutely legal. I was Mrs Isabella Marie Cullen, wife of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

Legally.

Edward had been so proud when he pulled the notarized wedding certificate from his jacket and handed it to Charlie. His eyes were sparkling, despite the deep purple evidence under his eyes that he had not tended to himself, had not even hunted in weeks. He was not unkind to Charlie, even if my dad did deserve it. He had simply told my father that he would be taking me home to our home with him. I was 18 and the decision was mine to make if it came to that but Charlie knew where I would choose to be.

I had given no thought to this or to where our home was or what it would be like. Edward was here with me and he loved me, and I was already home.

Edward had made his choices clear as well. An outing on the day of our wedding, simply because he insisted on hand selecting our wedding rings from a near by jeweler in person had been his only time away from me. Alice had forced him to hunt, assuring him that she knew of a place and they would only be gone a couple of hours, and insisting that his eyes needed to be amber, not black in the wedding photos and that the dark purple circles underneath needed to be gone. She was right, of course, to insist. Since the wedding, Edward had not left the hospital.

Not once.

Edward was fully capable of caring for me, though my dad was unaware of the two medical degrees he held. He was unaware also of the seemingly limitless funds that Edward had access to and had, in fact, earned over the years. What comforted Charlie was the fact that he knew Carlisle to be an excellent doctor. He trusted him and he knew Carlisle would be nearby. With that in mind, Charlie had kissed me on the cheek, told me he loved me and asked me to call him, and stepped aside as we left the hospital.

Edward took my hand and helped me to my feet, gently putting his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. My tears were flowing freely. It had not been a dream. Here he stood, holding me to him and caressing my hair, kissing the top of my head, and it was real. He was my husband and he loved me. He was taking me home . . . to 'our' home.

_"Careful, love_"

said Edward as he helped me into the front seat of the Volvo. Instantly he was in the drivers seat and we were off. I noticed snacks and a small cooler behind the front seat, along with pillows and blankets in case I got cold . . . Alices' careful preparations no doubt. It was a two hour drive to the southern Appalachian mountains, to the small town of Highlands that the Cullens now called home.

As we made our way North, I couldn't help but notice the abundance of beautiful tall trees and thick forests. These forests were different from the evergreens I was accustomed to in Forks, and the forested landscape was a far cry from the bare brown desert scapes in Phoenix. We turned into the narrow driveway that lead to the house. It seemed to go on forever, twisting and winding up the mountainside until it seemed we ran along a ridge for a time. A clearing appeared in the distance, and I should not have been surprised at the magnificence of the house. After all, Esme had found it and done all the modifications to it. It was beautiful, natural wood with even a wooden shingled roof and fireplaces of smooth round stone. The view off the deck on the back of the house was serene. A place where anyone would relax and rejuvenate and heal. It was perfect.

"_Let's go inside, love_", called my husband and I held my hand out to him as he wrapped his arm around me to help me to the door.

Bella.

Bella.

Bella.

The voices of my family called out! Alice was clutching her hands together and literally bounding up and down with excitement, Jasper with hands on her shoulders standing up on the stairs behind her. Emmett walked over to us and started to grab me into one of his bear hugs, smiling from ear to ear.

"_Emmet, NO_", snarled Edward, his hand flying out to his brothers chest to stop his approach.

_"Eight broken ribs, remember!_"

_"Oh, right . . . sorry, I just wanted my little sister to feel welcomed!"_

"_Thanks, Emmett"_, I said it with all the clarity I could muster thru my tears. Esme stepped forward to put her arms around me. It was an awkward hug but only because Edward did not take his arm from around me.

_"Welcome home"_, said Carlisle, placing his hand on Edwards shoulder and gently kissing me on the cheek. It had only now occurred to me that Carlisle was welcoming Edward as well. I would ask Edward about it when we were alone.

Alone.

I had forgotten.

With vampire hearing, I wondered if there would ever be suck a thing as alone in this house! Sensing how tired I was, Esme led me thru a door to the left into a room beautifully decorated in blue and cream. There was a day bed, somewhat larger than the twin size you would expect, a lovely sitting area with love seat and chair, and a wardrobe in the corner. A desk with a computer was against one wall and a flat screen hung from the other. The view from the floor length windows was not as breathtaking as the rear of the house, but still soothing.

_"The morning sun comes in thru these windows, we thought you might like that, and you don't have to try and climb the stairs. It's only temporary, it was the dining room, but, well, we don't eat in the house anyway. I hope you are comfortable here!",_ said Esme with a smile.

_"Everything is just beautiful, Esme. Thank you._", I said as I sat on the daybed. I was so tired. Edward sat down beside me and I noticed that my family had disappeared, living us to ourselves in our new room. I scooted over to the pillows and threw an arm over one as I fell fast asleep. It was dark when I awoke. I felt the soft comforter over me and the feather soft pillows to my side. Was I dreaming - I couldn't be sure. I lay very still, but I heard nothing. As light slowly entered the room, I turned my head toward the windows.

_"Good morning love"._

I was looking into the soft amber eyes of the man I loved. He was right there, beside me thou he never slept. He had rarely been able to lay in bed with me in the hospital, for lack of privacy or the peering eyes of a nurse or the simple fact that there were just too many tubes attached to me and too little room on the small hospital bed. I was surprised by the bed here, I had expected the Cullen all out king sized everything like Edward had bought for his room in forks, but this smaller one had been chosen probably to allow for the love seat and sitting area in the room. I liked it thou, it was quite beautiful and I didn't mind that there was little extra room for Edward to move far from me on this sized bed. He kissed me softly, lovingly, propped up on one elbow and his hand cupping my face. I grasped the silky hair at the base of his neck and pulled him to me. Our kisses were soft, patient. There was no rush, no destination, just shared feelings and mostly, love. I wanted him, I'm sure the scent of my arousal was heavy in the air to him, but we both knew I had far too many broken bones for anything to be possible yet . . . so we continued to kiss and caress each others faces and hair. The look in his eyes said all I needed. My stomach growled -

_"Breakfast time for the human",_ Edward grinned!

He had no sooner uttered those words than Alice burst in thru the door with a platter of everything from eggs and toast to bacon and cereal, milk and orange juice, and set it on the table by the love seat.

"_Hungry, love_?", asked Edward.

"_Of course she is hungry. That's why I brought the food in!", _Alice scoffed.

_"Well Alice, next time I wonder what my wife is feeling, perhaps I should just ask you"_, smirked Edward, his eyes playful.

_"No, but you could ask me_", said Jasper as he peered around the door, _"Good morning, Darlin"._

"_Good morning, Jasper! I suppose he could just check in with you to see how I'm feeling, but I'd rather we bypass the middle man!"_

He grinned from ear to ear as he answered my smartelleky comment, _"Whatever you think best, Darlin". _I was so glad Jasper knew there were no hard feelings over his trying to take a nip at me at my birthday party. I had long since forgiven him.

Everyone laughed! Alice was fiddling with the things in the wardrobe, I was sure she was

picking out what I would wear for the day. It looked as though she had filled the cabinet with soft loose tops and yoga style stretches - clothes that would be comfortable on my stitches and raw skin and would pull over my cast. She was amazing.

_"Well Alice, show me to the restroom I need a human moment before my eggs get cold!"_

I kissed the slightly hurt look on Edwards face and rose to go with Alice. As I passed the wardrobe, I noticed only a shirt or two of his hanging there. After I had changed, I realized that none of Edwards music collection or journals were in our room either. I remembered his room in Forks, and it seemed none of his things were here.

_"Thank you for the clothes, Alice. The nightgown was so soft don't even remember you helping me put it on."_

_"I didn't help, Bella. Edward would not let any of us help him."_

I'm sure my eyes gave away my surprise at this, but I continued, _"Alice, why aren't Edwards things in our room - his music, journals and all the other things that were in Forks? And I only saw a shirt or two for him in the closet."_

She looked at me so sadly, "_You haven't really talked about the time you spent away from each other, have you? What clothes my brother has are in the closet in your room and his other things are upstairs in his room. We fixed this room for you instead of that one because of the stairs and he had never used the room upstairs anyway, he never unpacked his things from Forks."_

We needed to talk, and I wasn't going to wait long.

Edward was pacing back and forth across the floor of the room when we returned. He instantly took my arm and guided me to the couch to have my breakfast. I noticed for the first time that my husband wore soft flannel sleep pants slung low on his hips and a simple soft t shirt covering his sculptured chest.

He was barefoot.

He was glorious.

He was mine.

_"Have you had your breakfast, Mr. Cullen"_

_"No"_, he smirked at my cavalier reference to his diet, "_Not yet"_.

"_Well, when will you be hunting, then"_, I asked him in between bites of egg.

Edward shrugged off a mumbled reply so low I could not understand what he was saying. I caught a glimpse of his face, though he starred at the floor and his brow was wrinkled, just over his eyes, the way it used to get when something was troubling him.

_"Edward, sweetheart, what's wrong?"_

_"I just don't want to leave you, that's all. I can't bear to be away from you. I was on pins and needles while you were with Alice in the bathroom. I remember the look on your face when Charlie thought he was taking you home from the hospital with him and I don't ever want to see that doubt in your eyes again. I won't leave you. Ever."_

He had the look of someone tormented.

_"Edward! There is a huge difference between leaving me and going to feed yourself so that you don't starve to death! Come on, you must see that!"_, I almost shouted at him. I put down my fork, "_If you don't then I won't eat, and you won't like that very much, will you!"_

_"You win love, I'll go out in the backyard and see what I can find this afternoon. Happy?"_

"_Will you be wearing those flannel pj's while you hunt? I just don't want the animals attacking _

_you ! Those are really cute on you,"_ I teased. He immediately rose from the couch and moved to the wardrobe and began gathering some of his clothes. It reminded me of something I had meant to ask -

"_Did you change me into that nightgown last night?"_

_"Yes",_ he answered without hesitation.

_"EDWARD!"_, I could not have blushed more if I tried.

Wrong.

When I looked up at him, he had removed the flannel pants and I was starring at the rock hard rear of my husband, in all its naked glory. He paid no attention to me, sliding on his boxer briefs and continuing to remove his t shirt. When he turned to respond to me he froze. He had just changed in front of me without giving it a thought. I on the other hand, was giving it lots of thoughts. I was starring at him. I only hope I wasn't drooling. I had never seen Edward with more than two buttons on his shirt open, so the sight of my bare chested husband was breathtaking. He walked over to the love seat and sat down by me.

_"Are you ok, love? I didn't mean to startle you",_

he said as he put his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. This Edward was different, this was not the Edward that wouldn't even leave the buttons of his shirt open, the Edward that was so carefully guarded. This Edward was at home, comfortable with me, with us, and I was astounded by the change.

_"Edward, I need you."_

It was all I had to say. He seemed to understand immediately. We were lying on the daybed together before I could even blink. He moved me with such care, I didn't even realize we had moved till we were there and I was in his arms. He leaned on one elbow, his jaw in his hand, hovering over me and tracing kisses from my throat to my jaw, softly asking me what it was I needed.

_"You have seen me without my clothes on, and I have only had a glimpse of you, it's so not fair!_".

I said petulantly as though I were a 4 year old. He laughed. Not a small laugh or a chuckle, but a laugh that shook him and made his eyes dance and sparkle.

_"I'm right here, love. What would you like to see?"_

I did not have the nerve to verbalize it. I placed my hand on his chest, tracing the lines and curves of it, across his abs to the soft hair that traced below his navel and past the waistband of his boxers. I looked up to his face as he leaned in to kiss me. It was a soft kiss, as all his kisses had been, but it conveyed all the love and longing that I had been feeling for years. His tongue traced my lips and my mouth opened to him. He had never allowed this - would never allow this.

Who was this man!

I reached further to the front of his boxers and over the waistband, my hand coming to rest on the hard bulge in front. I gripped him, eliciting a moan from him. His kiss stopped and he rested his face ever so gently on my chest above my heart.

_"Sweetheart, we can't. You haven't recovered yet. You know this."_

He continued kissing my neck, my collarbones, my shoulders and back to my lips. Loving kisses, kisses with no particular direction or intent, they had no goal, other than to express his love for me. I could feel him under the material of his briefs.

He didn't move my hand. He didn't move my hand. **Edward didn't move my hand!**

He took a deep breath, rolled back on his elbow and said, _"Love, we need to talk. You know we can't make love - you are not up to it yet. You know this."_

"_Edward, I need to touch you. I need to feel you close to me."_

"_I am only yours, love. You can hold me, kiss me, feel any part of me. I am only yours. I will never deny you anything, especially the right to choose for yourself, but be reasonable. Hear me out. You have to agree that you have too many mending bones to do anything vigorous or to have any weight on you, right?"_

I could not believe my ears. Edward was as good as his word. He had said he would never again deny me anything or take away my right to choose, and he was giving me that right today, this minute. He was right, of course. Just the small movements of this morning had me sore, aching. The car trip had been hard on me, but I tried not to admit it. I just wanted him so badly.

_"I know. I know we have to wait, but I have to at least feel you close."_

He continued to nuzzle me and tell me he loved me, and trace circles on my arms and stomach. I fell asleep with one hand feeling soft hair at the base of his neck, and the other hand having remained on his boxers. I had thought that he might be distancing himself from me, that inner part of me that still said this gorgeous creature could not possibly want me, that I could not possibly be enough for him was speaking up. I had worried when I had not seen his things in my room that we were not sharing a room, that maybe Charlie was onto something, maybe Edward was just going to let me down easily and slowly. This was not the case. He wanted me and needed me just as much as I needed and wanted him. He allowed me close to him, he had allowed me anything I wanted. When I had wanted something that he thought was too dangerous, he had discussed it with me. No choices were taken away, he allowed me to choose with him, to determine together what was best for us. I loved him for it. This is the way it should always have been and now he understood.

I had to talk with him, to find out what Alice had eluded to, I had no idea what he had been doing or where during the time we were apart. Alice seemed to think it was the elephant in the room, but it hadn't been. We had just spent the time since our wedding talking and being together, feeling no need for anything else. I suppose we were going to have to discuss our time apart, and probably soon.


	14. Chapter 14  Routine

**Author's Notes: We're getting close to closing this chapter in their lives, there will be one more chapter, but never fear. a sequel is in order! Please review and let me know what you think!  
**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 14 Routine**

**BPOV**

In the days that followed, we fell into a routine. Edward had finally agreed to hunt, though he would go no farther than the backyard. Luckily the backyard was the National Forest and was tens of thousands of acres of temperate rain forest teaming with wildlife. The dark circles under his eyes all but disappeared and the warm gold of his eyes was softer and more molten that I had ever seen it. Esme was elated. She looked at him with all a mothers adoration and she was so happy to have him near her. She nearly exploded with joy every time he touched me or she witnessed any affection between us. It seemed odd, like a sadness had been lifted from her.

We were sitting in the kitchen one afternoon while Edward was hunting, well, I was sitting and Esme was cooking, and I just had to ask,

"_Esme, what happened when you left Forks, where did you go?"_

She looked up from the food she was preparing for me with such a sad expression, I almost wished I hadn't asked. Almost.

"_Bella, none of us wanted to leave. Edward was so frantic after your eighteenth birthday party. He insisted that we were putting you in danger, that he had to get us all away from you so that you could have a normal, human life. He was convinced that our presence in your life was dangerous to you_", she paused and looked into my eyes, _"and he asked us to leave. We move every few years, of course, out of necessity and he insisted that it was close enough to the time we would have to leave anyway. He forbid any of us to speak to you before we left, or to contact you once we were gone. He wanted a clean break, and we agreed to it for him."_

"_The public story was that Carlisle had accepted a job offer in Los Angeles and that the family moved there with him. Bella, we actually moved here and Carlisle was hired to run the Highlands hospital. We rented a small home while I did all the remodeling on this one, then we all moved in here. Well, Edward moved his things here. He never really moved in."_

"_What do you mean, Esme, that he never really moved in?_", I asked.

"_Have you and Edward not talked about this, dear?"_, she asked softly as she stood and put her arms around my shoulders.

"_No. Not at all."_

"_And you haven't been upstairs?"_

"_No. I guess with this giant cast and all, I never worried about going up there, why?"_

"_Come with me, dear. Do you mind if I carry you up the stairs, it will be easier!"_

"_Sure, Esme."_

She gently and effortlessly lifted me and carried me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The landing a the top of the stairs was gorgeous! Comfy antique benches in the bay windows filled with pillows of all shades of cream and beige lining the hallway that continued the length of the front of the house. Four doors opened along the long hallway, the first at the top of the landing. Esme opened the door to show me Alice and Jasper's room, decorated in all modern furniture, bits of green mixed in with the cream and white and tan. A huge dressing screen with an oriental flair stood in one corner and the closet Esme opened was larger than the room. We both laughed and looked at each other as we said, _"Alice!"_

The next room belonged to Rose and Emmett. The furniture seemed fitting, large ornate dressers and a bed with 4 massive posts at the corners and the same ornate woodwork on the headboard that matched the dressers and night stands. A huge flat screen TV was mounted to the wall with a sofa and recliner facing it. The room was decorated in cream and red, and was amazingly beautiful,regal even. The space that Alice's enormous closet took up in her room was used as a massive jacuzzi tub here in this room, filled by a magnificent waterfall faucet. The tub was built in the bay windows that had a view of the mountains in the distance and the national forest that was their backyard. It was a place you could lounge for hours, the floor done in crimson marble and a corner shower with glass sides to match. The crimson marble counter contained two large modern waterfall faucets filling two sinks with vines growing on either side, bathed in sunlight coming in from the skylight above. _"Rose and Emmett like things on a bit of a grand scale"_, Esme smirked, "_so this suits them. I try to design the bedrooms rooms to meet the couple's individual taste."_

"_It's just beautiful, Esme. You do amazing things with houses and living spaces!",_ I commented as we moved to the next door.

"_This is the guest room, it's a little smaller than the other three bedrooms. I just designed it as though I would stay in it, cream and white with contemporary yet classic furniture. Nothing fancy, just my idea of a room that a guest would find comfortable. There is a full bathroom off thru there, also done in tan and cream and a normal size closet!"_, Esme laughed as she commented on the closet! Apparently Alice's closet was a point of contention as it defied standard dimensions and spaces that should be afforded to clothing!

Her face darkened as we approached the last door, and sadness filled her eyes. _"This is Edward's room, dear. I suppose actually, it is both your rooms, though it has never been used."_

"_Never been used?"_, I looked at her questioningly as I stepped into the room.

The space was large, just the same as the other two siblings bedrooms, beautiful golden carpet and beige walls with the same gorgeous bay windows overlooking the forest that the other rooms had. But the room was empty. The closet stood empty with the door ajar, boxes randomly stacked in odd piles along the edges of the room. I looked at Esme, and she gestured for me to sit on the padded bench that was a part of the bay window. She sat and faced me, holding each of my hands in hers.

"_I don't know what Edward told you when he left, or what reasons he gave you for our leaving, but when he arrived here to join us he was heartbroken. We left all his furniture in Forks, it reminded him of you so it couldn't come with us. None of the Forks furniture came with us for that reason, even the piano. His journals and his music were the only things he would allow us to pack and when he got here he put the boxes in his room and refused to even open them. Bella he never once played his piano, never listened to music . . . he even refused to hunt. He just sat here. Alone. He couldn't bear to be around his siblings with their mates, even Carlisle couldn't be with him. The slightest indication that there was any affection or love would send him into a panic attack. If one of us happened to have a passing thought of you, the pain it caused him would drop him to his knees."_

I just stared at her and around the room in shock. I had no idea. Edward had been no better off without me than I had been without him. I knew he said he couldn't live without me, but I had no idea that the hole in his chest rivaled mine.

"_Bella, we thought we were going to lose him,_" Esme said quietly.

As I gazed around the empty room, I realized Edward was leaning against the entry door, his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. He was starring intensely at me, his mood unreadable.

When our eyes met, he crossed the room toward me. I stood and his arms enveloped me as I clutched his body to mine. Esme quietly excused herself and Edward took her place sitting rigidly with me, still holding me to him.

"_I didn't mean to intrude, to come in your room without asking, Edward"_, I said as I looked into his eyes. _"I asked Esme about what happened after she left Forks, and she was showing me the upstairs . . . and your room. Please don't be angry with me, I didn't mean to seem like I was snooping in your things or bothering your room! I guess I just never thought about the fact that you would have your own room here and I had never been upstairs so I had never seen it and, Edward, I'm just so sorry. I didn't realize it was so hard on you after you left! Please, please don't be mad at me for coming in here without asking you!"_

He continued to stare at me, unblinking as only a vampire can. Finally I looked away and tucked my face into the crook of his neck to escape his glare. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know if he was going to be so angry that he would send me away and I didn't want that, I just wanted to know him better, to know everything about him. I just loved him so much and he had been so kind to me since the crash and now I had made him angry with me!

"_Bella,"_ he said as he took my face in his hands, wiping the tears off my cheeks with his thumbs, _"Love, you seem to be under the impression that I am angry with you. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not mad at you for being in here, sweetheart, everything I have is yours." _

"_Edward,"_ I said as I gripped the sides of his face with my hands, kissing his eyes, his nose, his cheeks and finally his lips, _"I didn't mean to upset you! I'm so sorry I intruded into your space!"_

"_There is nothing I have that you cannot see or use, nothing in any of the journals that you can not read. I would never be mad with you for wanting to know more about me, I just hate to share sadness with you - I just don't relish the thought of reliving all the hurt I caused by leaving you, hurt for both of us. But, Bella, there is nowhere that I would be that you cannot also go, well,"_ he looked down to his lap shyly, _"except that you can't come hunting with me, yet anyway!" _

I laughed as I wiped my tears and sniffed my nose.

"_Come on,"_ he said as he lifted me into his arms, _"unless there is something you want to look though now, lets go back down to our room where it is more comfortable! When your cast is off, we can decorate this room however you choose, we'll go furniture shopping together!", he said trying to lighten the mood._

We went to our room downstairs and he snuggled me to his chest as we lay on our bed. _"I'll tell you anything you want to know, love. I didn't fare too well without you and from what I read in the minds of your friends in Forks and Charlie, neither did you. I just thought the discussion could wait till you were better. I just so love our time together now, I didn't want to bring up any darkness, but I will tell you anything you want to know, always know that. I am not keeping things from you or trying to protect you from it. That just didn't work so well, did it!"_

I kissed his lips. This was a different Edward, a more open Edward willing to share decisions and treat me as an equal, not the overprotective man he was when we were in Forks. I loved this man and right now I needed to show him that. I traced his lips with my tongue and he allowed me in, our tongues gently caressing each other as our arms held each other close. He was bolder, this Edward, his hands often slipping under the hem of my shirt to caress my breasts, often placing kisses there as well. And so we passed our days.

My stitches and staples had been removed from all the abdominal wounds - scars now, pink and raised gave my abdomen the appearance of an angry puzzle. My road rash had healed, and the ribs were well on their way to mending, it no longer hurt to breath and I would have been quite mobile had it not been for the thigh high cast still on my leg. It still had a few weeks to go before Carlisle would consider even reducing its size, much less removing it.

We had breakfast in our room every morning and spent the early hours pretty much like kids making out on the sofa. In the afternoon I would nap while Edward played Guitar Hero or Grand Theft Auto, or some other obnoxious game with his brothers - or went for a hunt. Sometimes I would wake to the sound of him playing piano, he had always been an amazing player and could replay even the most complex piece from memory after having played it only once using the music. The whole family usually gathered, listening as if it were something they had not been privileged to hear in a very long time.

My evening meal was a production. Esme and Alice wanted to learn how to cook, along with Edward. Rosalie even stuck her head in now again as I showed them how to roast meat, steam vegetables, chop and dice, and make various sauces. It was the event of the day, culminating in my evening meal which they would never even taste. They even found most of the smells revolting, yet they wanted to cook for me. My new family was amazing and I loved them dearly.

Especially Edward.

Edward.

He was always there to hold me when I was insecure, carry me when I was tired, entertain me when I was bored, and anything and everything else he could think of to occupy me and help me heal. It was a slow process, I guess I hadn't realized how close I had been to death.

But he did.

In the evenings we would cuddle or watch a movie or listen to music while we lay wrapped up in each other till I fell asleep. Always in his arms, and always with my hand on him. There. I didn't pause to think about it, or why it was so vital to me, I just needed to know I could have him in every way, I needed assurance. Sometimes I would insist we loose the clothes to sleep. I loved the feeling of his cool skin on mine. We tried to avoid our teenage hormones, we both knew I wasn't up to it yet, but more and more the soft circles he traced on my stomach became soft caresses over my breasts. He would gently nuzzle my chest while I ran my fingers through his silky hair. We attempted to not get overheated, but we were having less and less success. I was floored the first time I saw my husband fully naked. He had always tried to keep his boxers on, apparently embarrassed by the erection he maintained. I would always touch him, thinking I was soothing him, not realizing just how difficult I was making it for him.

Edward was out hunting one afternoon and I had just woken from my nap. Alice and Rose were apparently just returning to the house from shopping and I overheard them as they came in the door.

"_I just don't understand why he lets this continue, is he a masochist? It doesn't make sense. He should just tell her"_, said Rose.

"_It's just not that simple, Rose", whispered Alice, "He wants to give her all the time she needs to heal and regain her strength. He wants her to be comfortable and secure while she recovers. You know he over thinks everything! At least he is here and not hold up in that attic in Rio for months."_

"_Surely Jasper will be relieved when he finally moves. Is his new place nearly finished? I heard Carlisle talking to Charlie yesterday and making the arrangements for his visit,_" said Rose. _"Just a few more shopping trips and I should have all the furnishings in place for him,_" giggled Alice, "_I hope I got it just right, Esme outdid herself with the design."_

I gasped as my entire world shattered. _'Bella, are you ok?_", Alice asked as she peered around the door of my room. '_Sure, Alice, I was just waking up. Did you have fun shopping?"_

"_Bella, need you ask. I ALWAYS have fun shopping! Just let Rose and I go put away these things, then would you like to watch a movie with us?"_

"_No, Alice. I think I'll just rest. I am not feeling well today." "Ok_", she said, _"let me know if you need anything little sister! You have to be excited about getting that cast off!"_

Alice and Rose hurried upstairs. I fell back on the bed and into the pits of despair. Did he really only do this so that I would recover? Edward had wanted me comfortable and secure while I recovered. I was getting the cast changed to a smaller walking cast this afternoon, Carlisle had promised. Could it be that my time with Edward was coming to a close . . .

No, no . . . oh God, NO!

He couldn't have done all this out of guilt, we were married. I had asked him, I know it wasn't traditional, but he had a ring in his pocket for Gods sake, he must have wanted it! But he was a vampire. A human marriage ceremony, did it mean the same to him as it did to me? I think it did. No. I KNOW IT DID. Vampires mate for life. That's what he had said. He would love me whether he had ever been with me again or not.

He had married me.

He would never leave me.

He promised.

It was legal, he had been so smug and proud when he had showed the proof of it to Charlie. He had gone against Charlie, he could have let me go home with Charlie from the hospital . . .

He had married me.

He would never leave me.

He promised.

I thought we were happy - I thought we were in love! No, I know we are in love! We had not yet consummated our marriage, he had never made love to me, but I wasn't healed yet! My broken ribs and incisions had only just healed! His words in the forest so long ago came crashing down on me, I wasn't good enough for him. He had said it then, he had said he didn't want me . . but,

He had married me.

He would never leave me.

He promised.

I sobbed hysterically into my pillow and let the darkness take me. I couldn't bear it - I wouldn't survive it this time, I DIDN'T WANT TO.

"_Edward, you have to get back here now, it's Bella_". As Alice hung up the phone, Jaspers' arms surrounded her, trying to comfort her from the vision she had just had. Bella had to be ok!

**Emmett POV**

I watched as he dropped the phone into his pocket, the furniture forgotten. He nearly tore the door off its hinges in his effort to leave.

"_Let's go, Emmett!"_, and he was gone, like a shot. Edward could literally fly across the forest floor when he wanted to and this time, he was driven. Something Alice had said had sent him into a panic. He only acted this way about Bella. Wow, I hope she hasn't fallen and hurt herself again, crazy little sister, just when Edward is about to rock her world!

Edward and I had been working on this for over a month. We had brought in a whole crew and we had just brought in the last of the items brought back by the girls today. It looked really good, even by my standards - Edward never thought as big as I did when it came to houses.

Carlisle had just pulled up as I stepped onto the front porch. He hurried into Bellas' room with me on his heels. The sight before us was heartbreaking. Bella was in Edwards lap, arms clutched around his neck as though her life depended on it and she was sobbing. This wasn't crying, these were the sounds of an animal being tortured beyond its ability to bear it. She wouldn't speak. He kept kissing her face, her hair, her shoulders and asking her what was wrong, telling her to calm down, but to no avail. Carlisle stepped forward and administered a shot to her arm, and she immediately relaxed into Edwards arms.

"_Oh my God, Carlisle, what is wrong with her?_' I exclaimed. Edward gently stood and turned to lay her on the bed behind him, his hands never leaving her, as Carlisle examined her. My brother knelt there by her, his expression reminiscent of the days when we first moved here. I could not even stand to see that look from him again, it was excruciating just to witness it on his face, much less feel the emotion behind it.

"_Nothing, I can find nothing wrong, Edward. It's almost as though she went into shock, but why?" _questioned Carlisle. "_Let's use the fact that she is sedated to get that cast off her leg and make sure the leg isn't a part of the problem."_

I watched as Carlisle tenderly changed the cast on his new daughters leg. He was looking for anything, anything that could explain this. Jasper walked into the room slowly, so slowly.

"_Pain, she is in so much pain!_", he stated.

Carlisle turned toward him, "_She is sedated, Jasper. Are you saying she is in pain right now? "_

"_Yes, she is in pain and she is afraid - its as though she has lost herself, she is nothing but just pain!, God, what happened?"_

Edward crawled beside her on their bed and held her. He cradled her in his arms as though she was the most fragile porcelain doll imaginable, more precious than anything else on earth. They had been thru so much, and now this, just when things were about to be perfect for them!

**EPOV**

I held her for hours. I would hold her till the end of time if she would let me. I loved this woman beyond all reason and she was in pain. She began to stir, tensing in my arms. Her eyes opened and she clutched on to me with all of her strength.

"_Don't leave me, Edward, please don't leave me!"_

Oh My Dear God

Why would she think I would ever leave her? I could not be drug away from this woman, what had happened to bring this on? I cupped her face in my hands as we lay together on the day bed and looked into her eyes, trying to get her to hear me.

"_Sweetheart, I will never leave you. You know that. You are my wife and I love you more than my own life,_" I told her as I trailed soft kisses across her tear stained cheek and to the corners of her lips. Her eyes were wild, deep dark swirling brown fraught with fear,

"_Please please tell me what's wrong, love!"_, I was begging her.

I literally could not bear to see her like this. She clung to me, her body trying everything to occupy the same space that mine was occupying, her face pressed so tightly into my neck that I wasn't sure she could breath.

"_Bella, honey, talk to me . . . Please!"_

She pulled her face back just slightly, never relaxing her grip in me, and looked at my eyes,

"_You're leaving me_", she said.

"_Sweetheart"_, I said with all the love I could put into the words," _I will never leave you. Wild horses could not drag me from you! Where is this coming from?"_

"_Edward, please, please Edward, I can do anything you want, I can change how I behave I will do anything . . Just tell me what to do to be enough for you. . . Please . . . Please . . . Just tell me,_" she sobbed.

I held her to me, stroking her hair to try and calm her down as I spoke quiet words to her.

"_Bella, what are you talking about? I am not leaving you! I am your husband and I will never leave you. You are everything to me! I have explained this before. Vampires mate for life, as long as you'll have me, I am here, love. I love you"._

She looked up at me, trying to focus. I moved the strands of hair from over her face and tucked it behind her ear, gently brushing the tears away from her cheeks with the back of my knuckle. I kissed her softly on the nose, the corners of her mouth, her full lips. _"Please, please tell me love, I am not going anywhere without you."_

"_Edward, I overheard."_

She was crying so hard she was stuttering, I could barely understand what she was saying as she tried to compose herself to talk, _"I don't want you to continue just putting up with me, enduring my presence in your life. I'm almost recovered from the crash, you . . . you can go on if you need to, I just . . . I just don't know what I'll do without you"_, she said as she broke into sobs again. Merciful God, what is going on.

"_Sweetheart_",

I tried again to get her to hear me,

"_I'm not going anywhere without you. I am never leaving you! I don't want you to worry about what you would do without me, you will never have the chance to find out. Bella, look at me. I love you and I am right here right now, holding you, and there is nowhere else I would rather be. I love you, you are my life, baby."_

"_Oh Edward, I want so badly for that to be true, I want to believe you, I love you so much, but I don't want to hurt you. Rose said I was hurting you and Alice said you were just waiting for me to heal and Jasper will be relieved when you move, and your new place is almost ready. Edward, please please don't leave me. I want to be enough for you! I'll do anything, I love you!"_

I could not imagine that my sisters would say those things to Bella, I knew how they felt about her. Hurting me. . Hurting me . . . just waiting for her to heal, moving, wait . . . Jasper would only be relieved if . . . Oh My God. It all makes sense realization hit me.


	15. Chapter 15  Hope, Love & Sex

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.

**Chapter 15 Hope, Sex & Love**

**EPOV**

I starred at her for a long moment and did the only thing I thought might convince her -

I kissed her with all the passion within me. Now was not the time for gentle kisses, my tongue demanded entrance, my lips exultant on hers. She might be bruised later, I really could not bring myself to care. Without a thought, I ripped her top down the center and exposed her breasts to me, taking them into my mouth roughly, my lips never leaving her skin, my arms around her, pressing her to me, caressing her. I looked up to see her eyes, wide with wonder not knowing what had gotten into me. I held her face in my hands and brushed away the flood of salt water from her eyes.

"_Baby, let me explain,"_

I whispered to her as I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist, cradling her body to mine. She was breathing hard, whether from sobbing or from my kisses I didn't know. I was out the door with her, not stopping to answer the questions in the thoughts of my family nor to sooth their shocked faces. I pressed her naked chest to me as I ran thru the forest. After only minutes, we came to a clearing. I walked up the stairs of the home that had been built there and entered thru the door, closing it behind me. Slowly, never taking my lips from her skin, I climbed the stairs to the second floor, entered the master bedroom, and laid her on the huge king sized bed that stood in the middle of the room, wrought iron posts covered in roses and soft cream fabric forming a canopy. I Placed her in the center of the bed, scooting her legs apart with my knee so that I was kneeling between there, sitting on my heels. I reached behind my head and pulled my shirt off slowly, as I watched her eyes, still red and swollen from her tears. I reached in front of me and, without a single word, tore the pants from her body as well as mine. I lowered myself down full onto her body into her waiting arms, realization dawning on her face.

"_I told you love, I am never leaving you. I love you. I know we are supposed to decide things together, and I want to do that . . . but I wanted to surprise you with a place of our own, away from the rest of the family's vampire hearing. I want to make love to you and the pain they were probably talking about is the distress your hand on my erection causes when I can not relieve it, the need for you that had to be restrained because you were not yet healed, the lust poor Jasper has had to endure with my being in a constant state of arousal for the last few weeks. I love you. I have always loved you and I am not leaving. Do you feel me, sweetheart, do you feel how much I want you?_

I told her these things as my hands cupped her cheeks, my lips peppered her face with soft kisses, and my erection ground into her, impossibly hard now from being so close to her.

"_Edward, I was so scared"_, she said as she ran her fingers thru my hair, tugging on the hair at back of my neck and running her hands down my sides as I lay on top of her. Her tears had stopped, but her face still showed the panic that she felt.

"_I know, sweetheart, I know,"_ I told her as I kept nuzzling between her ear and her shoulder tracing kisses along her neck and jaw, my hips rocking into her of their own accord. I raised up on my elbows to look her in the eye, my hands cupping her cheeks,

"_No one is trying to fool you, love, there are no secrets that are still kept from you. I wanted our house to be a surprise, that's the only secret, I swear! I love you and I have no plans to leave you. Ever."_

I was breathing heavily with my arousal, though I had no need for the air. Bella threw her arms around my neck and hugged me with a force that would have choked a human male. With her arms around me, her fist in my hair and her tongue frantically caressing mine, she rocked her hips into me. That was it. I could take no more. I came unglued.

Her human body was so fragile. She could accidentally be hurt so easily. A touch in haste could break a bone. One careless reach for her to caress her cheek and I could accidentally crush her skull, not to mention the bruising I could cause. An uncontrolled thrust into her and she would literally be impaled on me, my erection like a sword through her soft body crushing her pelvis and ripping through her organs and tissues.

This was her first time - my first time, and I needed it to be perfect.

My idea of soft kisses and gentle caresses for our first time was not to be though. My emotion and desire had been pent up for so long, laying night after night beside her with her stroking me so intimately, her warm body beside me and the intensity of her need today finally taking form. She needed to know how I really felt about her, just how much I loved and wanted her. I could not have stopped myself now if I tried.

The noises coming from my body would have scared the bravest of hunters in the woods at midday, but here in our bed she smiled at me, she held me closer still, love exuding from her every pore. She knew me for the vampire I was, and she loved me regardless.

**BPOV **

He was wild . . . fierce and inhuman. I had never seen or even dreamed of him in anywhere near this state. His eyes were glassed over and seemed like molten black fire. Every muscle in his body was tensed, focused like a large predatory cat about to spring. His movements were feral, his arms around me held me like a steel vice, his chest heaving and his hips rocking into mine. My clothes and his were gone in an instant, jeans ripped away with all the effort it would take a human to brush away a spider web - no, that would imply effort, it took none. He sat back on his heels, lifting my hips up onto his thighs, his hands kneading my backside and grasping my waist. His tongue visibly traced his lips. He bent down and ran his nose back and forth across my stomach, inhaling deeply. It seemed to drive him into even more of a frenzy.

In spite of all the effort and pretense in the last 90 years living among humans, when it came down to it, Edward was not human. This was not my gentle, loving, painstakingly careful husband in bed with me . . . this was my vampire and I was his mate. He was out of patience and through waiting. His intent was clear, he was claiming what was his and I loved it.

"_Good, so good_", I heard him mumble. Stillness overtook him. He was as unmoving as a statue, completely still as only a vampire can be. He took one long breath and looked into my eyes, apparently using every ounce of strength and restraint he could muster and asked,

"_Are you sure, Isabella, are you sure you want this!"_, his impossibly deep velvet voice spoke in a whisper, "_I won't be able to stop. You must tell me now, my love."_

I nodded as his answer came in the form of my hips rocking towards him and my legs wrapping tightly around his waist, my heels digging into his back. He was instantly on me, his mouth exultant against mine, his hands kneading my breast with such intensity it was just short of painful. He positioned himself and entered me slowly.

Every fiber of his being seemed to be trying to be slow, to be gentle. It was no small feat, but it was necessary as he stretched me further than I had ever imagined. He stopped after a moment, he had reached the point that my virginity would be lost if he continued. He bent down and whispered in my ear his love for me and that he was sorry that this was going to hurt, then he thrust in and stilled. He trembled, whether from a sensory overload or his emotions, or in an effort to let me adjust, or maybe all of these reasons at once.

Tears were escaping from my traitor eyes again, It wasn't that the pain was so overwhelming, though it was there, it was more the emotion of the moment. I had been waiting for this moment for over two years, fearful that it would never come and now that it was here, it was everything and more than I had imagined, more than my dreams had imagined. His cool skin was a balm to the newly stretched and torn tissue, easing the pain, yet I burned with a fire I had not imagined.

I slowly rocked my hips into him, his body now flush with mine, buried as deeply within me as humanly possible. Edward reacted to this movement, every muscle in his body tense, his face still buried in my shoulder.

His hands grasped tightly to my hip bones at first, then snaking under my arms to grab over the top of my shoulders from behind, his elbows holding some of his weight. He pulled his face from my shoulder long enough to stare at my lips, then consume them, snarling, his tongue insistent.

His eyes were black and wild, but I saw no blood lust and no need to try and bring him back to himself. Instead I grasped his hair, his shoulders, his backside - anything and everything to hold onto more of him, to bring him closer to me, to encourage him further. He needed little encouragement.

"_So good . . . so good . . . Bella . . . so tight . . . my God . . . good" _

I had never seen or heard this Edward before, more animal than man - inhumanly strong and feral. His raw power would be terrifying in any other situation. When his mouth was occupied with my mouth or breast, I could hear his chest growling loudly and when his mouth would move from one place to another, a snarl the likes of which I would only expect to hear from a large feline predator would escape his throat. His thrusts continued to grow in speed and intensity, stopping just short of pounding bone against bone, his breath ragged. He was absolutely ravenous and utterly terrifying in his ferocity. Vampire and man, he was completely mine. God I loved him so.

My breath was as ragged as his, my hips meeting his, my heart pounding. I felt my stomach tighten and my body start to tense and stiffen. It was as though my lungs could not fill with enough air, my heart could not beat with enough intensity, I could not hold onto him tightly enough or move with enough strength to accommodate the overwhelming emotion building within me. I stopped moving altogether as I arched into him and screamed his name. My nails would have drawn blood down his back had he been human. He reacted with unbridled ferocity as he thrust into me at a blinding speed, it was as though he blurred for a moment. He suddenly tensed and straightened both arms, raising himself up above me, and snarled, uttering a ferociously wild roar at a volume I'm sure they heard clearly at the other house. It sounded like he screamed "mine", but it was so primal, I couldn't be sure. I felt him even larger than ever as he pounded into me and stilled, a coolness washing over me from the inside out as everything became black.

**EPOV**

The orgasm that overtook me was the likes of which I had never even imagined. Vampires do not tire, yet I was spent. I lay with my head on her shoulder and my arms enveloping her. As my unnecessary breaths returned to normal, her legs fell from around me and onto the bed on either side of me. I looked at her face and saw that her eyes were closed and she looked content as if she were sleeping. I nuzzled her neck an kissed her lips . . there was no response as her arms fell from my neck.

Oh My. God .

I brought my hands to her face and gently shook her but there was still no response. I moved to lie beside her instead of on top of her and gasped.

I was covered in blood.

I knew there could be a little blood. I knew that was normal. As I looked down her body, my eyes followed the streaks of blood that trailed down her thigh where I had pulled my body from hers, and pooled on the bed. If I had a beating heart, it would have stopped at that moment. My worst fears were happening, I had lost control and injured her. How badly was the immediate question.

I gently kissed her neck to make sure her pulse and blood pressure were there and though her pulse was a little high, it was slowing and she was breathing normally. I ran to the bathroom and returned with a cold washcloth to put on her forehead, and a warm one to clean her and assess her injuries. There was more blood than I expected, but her bones were not broken and the bleeding seemed to have stopped. There didn't seem to be any damage to her frail body such as internal ripping or tearing, other than that from being itimate, thank God. She seemed to have just passed out. My two medical degrees and all my training did me no good at this moment. The thought that I had lost control and injured her consumed me. I had checked her vitals and knew she was not critical, but I was frozen, unable to think or move under the weight of what I might have done to her.

I heard their minds before they arrived - Alice and Carlisle. Carlisle sped up the stairs and saw me sitting on the edge of the bed. He immediately moved to the side of the bed regardless of the fact that we were both still naked.

I said and did nothing to stop him.

"_Edward, go get cleaned up son, while I check on Bella"_, urged Carlisle.

He gently felt for a pulse and checked her pressure and respiration, feeling for any signs of internal swelling or bruising, bleeding or damage. I grabbed some fresh jeans from the closet, the clothing we had been wearing in pieces on the floor, and returned to stand by the bed as Carlisle pulled the throw at the foot of the bed to cover her. Alice looked on from the doorway, the smell of blood too strong in our room.

"_She just passed out, Edward. She is fine", _he insisted as he put his monitor back in the little black medical bag he had brought with him when he ran to my house. I was standing beside him scared to death as he stood and turned to me, _"She is fine, son. She is absolutely fine! Probably hyperventilated, causing her to pass out,_" he tried again to get through to me,placing a hand on my shoulder and shaking me gently, _"Edward, you knew there would be blood, it may be a little more than usual, son, perhaps your size . . . the tissue just had to stretch to accommodate you. It's normal, the bleeding is perfectly normal!" _

"_Edward! __**Bella. Is. Fine! **__ You did not hurt her, son!"_

"_Alice and I are leaving now, she would be embarrassed if she knew we were here. Alice saw you upset and blood, so we came to help. You apparently have everything under control, son",_ the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile, as he laid a small package on the night stand, _"I'll leave you this smelling salt in case you need it. She should wake up on her own shortly. You might consider changing the bed before she wakes so that you two will be more comfortable. I love you, son!"_, with that he turned and left.

I quickly changed the bedclothes, gently moving her from one side to the other as I placed clean sheets and a clean comforter on the bed and threw the others into the wash with some bleach. We were after all, vampires and the smell of human blood around was disconcerting to say the least.

I took off my jeans and lay beside her, naked in our bed and pulled the covers over us. I ran my fingers thru her hair and stroked her face. After a few moments that seemed like hours, she started to stir, opening her eyes to stare into mine. She immediately turned to me, putting her arm around me and nuzzling her face into my chest. _"I love you"_, she softly said.

My heart was in my throat. _"Are you alright, sweetheart!"_ I asked quietly as I stared intently into her eyes, stroking her back.

"_I'm fine, I love you so much!_, she repeated.

I pulled away slightly, my hands on her face so that I could look into her eyes, _"Are you __**SURE**__ you are alright, Bella, I didn't hurt you?" _I asked.

"_Edward, we both knew the first time would hurt, I just had no idea it would also be so amazing."_, she said as she closed the distance between us, wiggling her hips against me.

"_If it's alright with you, can we please just hold each other for a little while, love. You passed out and scared me to death. You almost managed to give a vampire a heart attack and I haven't quite recovered yet! I was so afraid I hurt you, I knew I had lost control and then I saw blood and you weren't moving and I am just really upset right now. It's not that I don't want you again, sweetheart, I do . . . I just really need to hold you and know that you are alright . . . please!"_

**BPOV**

He looked at me with so much uncertainty and need in his golden eyes, all thoughts of my embarrassment over passing out dissolved, my only thought was to comfort and reassure him.

"_Oh, Edward, I'm better than alright! I've never seen you like that - I have never even imagined you like that - more animal than man. The raw emotion and need you showed me, it's just what I needed . . . I needed to see your need and desire for me. I know you aren't hiding anything from me or just being good to me . . . to be like you just were with me and to not have hurt me, Edward your control even when you lost it was amazing. How did you do it? You always said it would be too hard! _

"_Sweetheart, the only thing that is too hard to do is to be away from you, after experiencing what it was like to be without you, everything else is easily manageable. Bella, even if you had decided you didn't want me after the accident, I would have never been able to be far from you!" _

"_You really do love me, don't you!"_

"_Of course I love you_, _I live you, you are the other half of me!_", I rubbed my nose against her cheek, _"You already knew that. I tell you everyday."_ I looked into he eyes, _"I will always love you and I will NEVER , EVER leave you, Bella! You are __**MINE**__!". _

"_Yours, Edward, only yours."_

The End_ (but only the end of the beginning!)  
_

_~oooOooo~_

**Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed the beginning of their story! The continuation of Bella& Edward, a Love Story will start mid week! Remember to review if you enjoyed this and want more!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

Authors Note:

I have been warned that perhaps this story surpasses the M rating and will be removed by fanfiction. If this should happen, the story is posted under the same author name, _Vickisan_, at _The Writers Coffee Shop Library. _

__HHH is currently the only story posted at TWCS, but should they be removed here, I will post all of them there - not to worry!

Victoria


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